gleanings from my morning reading

another celebrated evangelical leader, another hard nosed autocrat

everything bad is good for you

tiger and g finally find their way home

concerning the party of stupid

worst.idea.ever

a christian consumer advisory
by: slowfo

This is a public service announcement: There has been a trickling outbreak over the last year or two of people engaging in the watching of disgraceful movie content. These actions must be stopped. I am warning you. Do not do what I have done. This is my story.

I don't know where I heard it but someone encouraged me to spend my precious Netflix queue-spot on a movie titled, "Facing the Giants." I believe, "It's a great movie with a great message" is what I heard. Let me do you a favor and tell you that you should only watch this film if you are devoid of any and all possible entertainment options including exhausting the option of navel play.

Bad acting. Poor dialogue. And to call the story "predictable" is an understatement. It became a game for me to predict each scene a few moments ahead of when we viewed it....and what do you know?.....I was right every single time. It wasn't hard though. My seven year old was guessing right along with me.

Two good things have come from this movie. One, it does communicate that Jesus died to save mankind.....and two, if you really, REALLY turn to Him, you will receive (drum roll please)...a new car!!....a raise at work!....marital fulfillment including the children you were told would never be born to you!!.....and years and years of occupational success!!

Christianity Today couldn't even stoop so low as to give this film a thumbs up. Josh Hurst writes, "when a film is as unintentionally corny as this one, it's anyone's guess as to how many viewers can stomach all the schmaltz for the positive message at the end."

This movie did bring back some funny memories for me though. Anyone remember the "Thief in the Night" cheesy Christian "exploitation" film of the 70's? If not, YouTube it. Watch some of the scenes with the sound down and it will be tough to tell whether the movie is about to turn into Cheech and Chong or gay porn.

Back to the film at hand. Here's a social experiment for you....go to your local fundamentalist church this Sunday, nudge the churchgoers next to you and tell them what a horrible piece of film making "Facing the Giants" was.....and watch their faces! Ah, what fun. You might even hear one respond to you by saying, "Ya know Jesus said, 'The world will hate you because they have hated me.'" To them, you might just say, "How 'bout the world just hates bad movies. And this is one of 'em."

Lastly, this film does have some redeeming value. Try this for your next party night....grab bottles of whiskey, sit down and watch this film and drink every time tears come to the eyes of any actor on film. You'll be enjoying your evening straight away.

reader response: the soul of baseball: a road trip through buck o'neil's america by joe posnanski

for some reason, i've really struggled to finish books lately. right now i have bookmarked copies of killing the buddha: a heretic's bible, not for sale, graphic novels: stories to change your life, harry potter and the deathly hallows and keep your donors lying in various places all over the house. however, when i cracked open my discounted copy* of the soul of baseball earlier this week i simply could not put it down.

if you're a fan of ken burns' documentaries, hail from kansas city or know anything about the negro leagues you know the name buck o'neil already. if you don't, here's the briefest of synopses: buck was a solid negro leagues player, the long-time manager of the kansas city monarchs (who were, depending on who you're talking to, the yankees or the red sox of the negro leagues) and the most engaging ambassador that either the negro leagues or professional baseball has ever seen.

throughout the book, as buck speaks to and greets folks from every walk of life it quickly becomes clear that buck is not simply an old ballplayer, but a priest who shares the sacraments of celebration and forgiveness with everyone he meets. if you want to understand the priesthood of all believers that saints from peter to r. paul stevens have been extolling for ages, you best read this book.

thank you for blessing us with your presence buck and congratulations on your recent (long overdue) enshrinement in the hall of fame.


* which i came upon at the christmas tree shop, of all places, and purchased for a mere $2.99.

with eyes bright and boots on

i'm going to be moving to an office with a view* on monday, so i guess it is finally safe to report that i've been promoted. on monday i will be starting a new role as rectangle's strategic partnerships director. in this new position i will soliciting public and private foundations, managing all promotional copy and overseeing the 'tangle's volunteers and interns.

ever since my promotion was unofficially announced, my colleagues have alternated between congratulating me and sternly warning me "not to become an a*shole" on account of my new position.

for my part, i know that i am already an occasional a*shole and i am not focused on increasing the frequency or diameter of the latter anytime soon. however, i'd be lying if i told you that these consistent admonitions have not, to a degree, got to me. for that reason, i have constantly been reminding my colleagues that i have always been focused on our participants and would not take the position if it did not help the participants achieve more independent, prosperous and meaningful lives. i've been so insistent on the purity of my intentions that on a couple of occasions i have told colleagues that i am considering hanging one of the pictures of my successful students on the wall. underneath the picture, i told them, i plan to have someone with far better handwriting than mine write, "it's all about the participants."

the last time i launched into the latter apologia, i actually got a lump in my throat and my voice cracked. in the moment, i thought that my visceral reaction was simply evidence of my sincerity. however, on further reflection, i fear that i've confused sincerity with a mistaken belief in my own bullsh*t.

regardless, full of sh*t or not, i'm pulling up stakes on monday. here's to hoping that in my new role, more often than not, i find innovative and effective ways to help all people and all things grow up into him who is the head.

* of the parking lot, but still.

five simple reasons the cardinals should sign barry bonds

1. the man can rake.

2. his defensive liabilities can be offset by late inning defensive substitutions.

3. he'll make the major league minimum and would be easy to release.

4. history has proven that larussa can wrangle the roiders.

5. affirmative action. the cards only have 1 african-american player and i don't think rico washington will be around for long.

an op-ed worth reading

i love living in the boston area. residing in the cultural and educational center of the country and living in a neighborhood full of friends that is a mere five blocks from the ocean is hard to beat.

however, after living here for eight years i am starting to believe that massachusetts is not only first in education, but also first in government corruption. whether it's the beverly softball field that took fifteen months to build, the three quarter mile salem connector road which has been in the building process for years, beverly's irresponsible and manslaughtering police, boston's disabled and coked up firefighters or the 22 billion dollar boondoggle that is the big dig, corruption seems to ooze from every civic orifice.

for that reason, i really appreciated jeff jacoby's current op-ed, entitied are we angry enough to fight back in the boston globe. it's about time somebody started tellin'.

skunk hunters

anita's afraid of spiders and i'm afraid skunks. so on saturday afternoon, while cleansing the backyard, what did we see?

after we had already emptied the doomed shed of its tiki torches, buckets of methanol and other, mostly useless, contents, i swept offal off of a sauder bookshelf, hoisted it by end, swung towards the door and nearly sh*t my pants when a skunk was revealed.

since i was afraid of being sprayed, we opened the doors to the shed, called animal control to see if they could rectify the problem,* and assumed that the skunk would make his exit during the evening hours.

on sunday morning i, hesitantly, checked the shed again to see if our skanky friend had left and was relieved when it appeared that he had. so, on sunday afternoon, when i once again grabbed the sauder shelf by end, i was comforted by the fact that he was nowhere in sight. unfortunately, as soon as i hoisted the shelf what did i see but i dirty sneak of a skunk, looking back at me.

so i dropped the shelf and backed slowly out of the shed. as soon as i was clear, the skunk scampered across the floor and appeared to wedge himself in the southeast corner of the shed that is closest to the house.

by that time, i was scared and pissed. so, while maintaining a safe distance, i found all of the large stones that littered our backyard and i started a full-frontal assault on the shed. first my stones took off the doors, then my stones pulverised the corner of the shed in which the skunk was (presumably) shaking. i assumed that at some point, i would smell the skank's sweet death! but alas, victory was illusive.

at just that moment, anita, dressed in church clothes and sporting open toes, stopped by the backyard. drawing upon her immense reservoirs of courage, she went and moved the sauder sh*t again, but the skunk was not there. she then looked in the corner where i assumed the skunk had stolen away. but he was not there either.

at that moment, assuming that the skunk had snuck under the partially rotted shed floor, i decided to take offensive action.

wielding a thirty pound, five foot long auger, we started to destroy the shelf swing-by-swing.






so we swung...


















and swung...


















and tugged...














until we tore that damn shed down!








after we had dismantled the shed and pried up the boards what should we see!?

no skunks! but instead a legion of wood, long-leg and fiddleback spiders. at that moment anita fled and i was too tired to completely dismantle the shed.



but two nights later, after a cowardly, night-time assault by our aforementioned foe, return we did! we fully disposed of the shed, flooded the skunks borroughs with environmentally friendly glycerin, ran roughshod over every spider and vermin we laid eyes upon and so became the baddest a*s skunk hunters 4 judson ever did see!

the end.

* as for animal control: if you call them to smoke your beloved pet, they're jonny on the spot. but request help with unwanted vermin and they simply instruct you to make the skunks listen to terry gross all night long. thanks for the help, ye wonderful publik servants!

the power of a praying pastor

something tells me that jeremiah, who is an old soybean bible friend and currently a pastor with the apex community in vegas, has established a far more sustainable bi-vocational occupation than i have.

if you know christians who are staunchly anti-gambling or have poor relatives who seek provisions from slot machines, be sure to share with them this example of how God providentially blesses prayer-full risks.

come on miah! little 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant jesus needs a new pair of shoes!

musing...

i hesitate to admit this, but lately i've been pursuing hypermiling as a personal discipline. i am not by nature a very patient or passive person. thus, driving no faster than 62 and confining myself to the right-hand lane has been a real challenge for me.

although i'm only in the second week of this initiative, i have already realized that this expression of intentional slowing is leading me towards greater depths of personal reflection and prayer. i am constantly flagellating myself for failing to demarcate enough time for solitude, prayer, journaling and spiritual development. moreover, since i most often encounter the Other in the midst of such practices, i think that a fair amount of the self-condemnation is deserved. however, hypermiling is reminding me that in addition to reaching out in silence, i also need to pursue holiness and communion in the midst of the ordinary activities of my day.

so i guess hypermiling is an effective treatment for my incipient gnosticism. who would have guessed?

overheard: the ten most hypocritical christian athletes

4. Andy Pettitte

HOW MUCH HE LOVES JESUS: In his sports metaphorically-titled book, Strike Zone: Targeting a Life of Intregrity and Purity, Andy Pettitte had this to say about how he wants to live his life for the Lord, “As a Christian I also have one goal. I want to fulfill God’s purpose for my life. I constantly ask myself “What does God want me to do?” and “Where does He want me to go?”

WHY JESUS HATES HIM: WHY JESUS HATES HIM: Apparently God wants him to do steroids. And he wants him to go to the congress and lie about it. After getting called out by Brian McNamee for taking H.G.H., Pettitte needed to read Romans 13:1-5, a passage in the Bible that says you shouldn’t lie to the civil government. Did he really need to find that line to be sure about lying? I guess Pettitte initially thought the explicit “Thou shalt not lie” commandment actually meant “Thou shalt not lie…unless you’re talking to someone who was elected to office. Then you can lie your ass off. Amen.”

you can read up on the other offenders over at holy taco.

ht: deadspin

get some!

next week generation kill, a seven part hbo mini-series that is based on evan wright's remarkable book* of the same name, is premiering on hbo.

the mini-series is produced by the team that created the wire and is probably the only show worth watching this summer.

check out the trailer here.

read an interview with ed burns, one of the co-creators of the wire and the mini-series here.

check out one bullet away: the making of a marine officer, a book that is related to generation kill, here.

over the past six months media critics and culture watchers have been talking about the public indifference to movies such as stop loss and in the valley of elah that attempt to chronicle and capture the experience of the iraqi catastrophe. i hope that the public tunes in and turns on to generation kill since it is one of the most insightful portraits of the war that i've come across thus far.

* tip o' the hat to josh brown for turning me on to the book.

this guy is my hero



ht: jenny a and bringbackwillie

a brief public service announcement from your friends at jaded

over the past couple of weeks we have noticed that there is a positive correlation between the rising gas prices and the increased use of bicycles in our communities. this trend is, in general, a good thing insofar as bicycling is environmentally friendly, beauty enhancing and fun.

however, before you join the growing legions of cycling citizens please consider these friendly admonitions.

1) "it's called a sidewalk, not a sideride!" as this little nugget of wisdom from our good friend junkyard reminds us, bikes belong in the streets, not on sidewalks. if you are under 12 years old or live in a carefully manicured, SUV infested subdivision, riding along sidewalks is acceptable. however, if you live in any sort of urban environment you should not be riding upon a sidewalk under any circumstances. if deplorable street conditions, construction or narrow roadways force you to take the sidewalk, please walk your bike. if you are avoiding the streets because they feel dangerous or you are uncertain of your cycling abilities, please take a bicycle safety course, strap on a helmet and sack up.

2) all together now: "it's called a crosswalk, not a crossride!" people who fail to follow this admonition will be impaled upon industrial plastics in short order.

3) if you are wheezing, bobbing and weaving and/or generally interfering with traffic you should tighten things up by riding a stationary cycle and/or practicing your riding in a parking lot until you are ready for the road. while driving a motor vehicle sideswiping is considered a crime. the rules for pedal powered vehicles are no different.

4) in regards to spandex, compression shorts and underarmour please use discretion. if you don't want to look at it in the mirror, rest assured that the general public doesn't want to look at it either.

5) learn to communicate effectively with other vehicles. relatively few of us remember the funky hand signals for right hand turn, stop and the like that we were taught in fourth grade. however, the overwhelming majority of us know how to point to our left, point to our right and point with our middle finger if need be. please put this basic knowledge to good use.

since we do not know the variations of biking laws and customs in other communities throughout the country, please feel free to add additional friendly admonitions below.

overheard: slowfo shares this man's insecurities

pipe down, beantown
by: mark bechtel

SARTRE WROTE that "hell is other people," but if he had spent less time eating croissants in Paris cafes and more time downing wings in sports bars, he probably would have written that "hell is other fans." All fans are insufferable to those who don't have an affinity for the same team; being forced to listen to, say, a Kansas City Royals buff regale you with the exploits of rookie shortstop Mike Aviles is no better than listening to a grandmother go on and on about her little darling's toilet training.

That said, there's one group of "other fans" that stands out in its tediousness. Think Matt and Ben. Think Sweet Caroline. Think Sartre pronounced without the r's.

Yes, we're talking about Boston fans.

Read More

don't you know it's hard?

yesterday, after i invested an extra hour and a half in the game, basically ignoring my wife and child in the process, the cardinals were finally vanquished by a youkilis homer in the bottom of the thirteenth. when the cardinals survived inning opening doubles by the sox in the tenth, eleventh and twelfth, i feared that losing would be a tough blow. however, although i might have uttered an unholy word when youk's ball cleared the centerfield fence, i was able to let go of the game surprisingly quickly and rest in the fact that we won the series and took the sox to the limit.

now that we are almost three full months in, i am ready to admit that this is one of my favorite cardinals teams of all-time. these boys aren't as talented as the brewers, don't have hear the budget of the, admittedly impressive, scrubs and their pitching staff couldn't be worse off if they had spent the first quarter of the season in abu graib instead of extended spring training. yet, these boys have scrapped and clawed their way eleven games over .500 and they are currently sitting in the wildcard catbird seat. much like the yankees of the mid-90s, yet with far, far less talent, these boys have shown they know how to grind.it.out. i think tony la russa, dave duncan and all the rounders such as ludwick, schumaker and molina should all be issued wallets that read - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - if you know what i mean. these guys know the game is hard and they play it hard. if they were pilots, i'd say they were flying "ice cold with no mistakes."

i, on the other hand, am a candy ass who utilizes doubt, cynicism and resignation as a screen to filter the hard realities of life and hold out hope that life is going to become easier. just this weekend i read an interview with tim keller at christianity today, in which he states that Christ followers should not water down the demands and complications of the gospel lest we fail to let people know that "to be a Christian is going be very, very hard." for some reason, that odd little sentence attributed to keller really sliced me open.

to live a prayerful life is hard. to chose to serve instead of seeking to be served is hard. to believe that the poor are the rightful inheritors of the Kingdom is hard. to bind my desires for relevance and influence and lead them up to mount moriah is hard.

so today i'm trying to mind keller's wisdom and follow in the footsteps of aaron miles and my beloved boys of summer. it's far past time to set the user-friendly faith i've been trying to forge aside in order to follow in the hard footsteps of Jesus.

straight truth from a southern baptist mouth

i ran across the following quote by jimmy draper, former president of the southern baptist convention, on the missio dei blog.

“We have reached a place that our spiritual forefathers feared. We need to admit that the problem with America today is not the government or the politicians. It is not Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or John McCain. It’s not the senators or representatives. The problem is not the educational system or the economy. It’s not the liberals or the abortionists. The problem lies with us.

We conservatives claim to have the truth and we think we are rich in spiritual position and power, but yet we are cold, complacent, impotent and unattractive, and irrelevant to the world.

I hate to say it, but we are not plateaued. We’re not even just declining. We’re in a free fall. You know why we don’t win the lost? Because we don’t like them. They are different from us. We don’t care for them. We have no real love for them.

People just don’t touch eternity when they are around us. We’re too self-absorbed.”

i don't know about you, but when i read this my mis-formed jaw about hit the floor. i expect this kind of commentary from the will campbells and agent bs of the world. not from a former sbc president.

ht: missio dei and steve k's google recommendations.

the ebb and flow of God's grace
submitted by: slowfo


You're probably not as heartless as I can be at times. But I've caught myself over the past several weeks not paying much attention to that earthquake over in China. Ya know, the one that killed at least 55,000 and left 80,000 missing. I haven't read one full article about it. Honest. You've probably read all about it and already sent money over to help but I haven't yet. Maybe it's because it's a natural disaster and there's no one to blame.......or because it's just so far away. It is, however, a horror that has left lives and families in tatters.

To put it in perspective, let's imagine the worst - that all 80,000 missing are also dead. That would result in as many deaths as Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. Or let's hit closer to home - that's the equivalent of the Twin Towers bombing occurring in over 38 United States cities all at the same time. Read that again. Thirty-eight Twin Tower bombings. Where was God's grace? Why didn't He rescue these people? Or did He act and keep it from being hundreds of thousands of deaths?

I felt the anger over the Twin Towers incident. I had someone(s) to blame. But I haven't been angry about the earthquake. Should I have been? As our insurance companies would classify it, an earthquake is an act of God. You mean like the Twin Towers was an act of Osama Bin Laden??

I've always grown up with a foundation of gratitude to God for all good things in my life and on earth. To this day, "Thank you" are the first words out of my mouth when I pray. But the tragedies on earth, whether personal or global, lead me to a question I wrestle with at times. If we give God thanks for the good things that happen, do we also blame Him for the bad?

Whoa, wait a minute! God didn't create this world to be bad like it is...man did that part. But, since sin entered the world, if God has occasionally intervened in order to avert disaster in the life of a person, city, country, etc., then there have also been many times when He has chosen not to intervened and has appeared to withhold his grace. And if He didn't act, then why not? It's not because He's too weak to act or is too busy. And in the same way, Jesus didn't heal every single illness or disease when He walked the earth. Of course, Jesus was gracious with His healing but confined somewhat by His humanity.

Grace means receiving the good things we don't deserve. Is God's grace ceaseless and never-ending? Is it as reliable as the rising of the sun each morning? In His mind, yes. I believe it is. In the minds of humanity, not so much.

talking about p

this morning preston was in the best of moods. so why we were sharing a bagel i started plying him with questions.

"does your daddy love you?"
"yeah!"

"do you love thomas?*"
"yeah!!"

"do you love the cardinals?"
"ummmmmmmm..."

the little man best watch his step or we'll be resettling in saint charles before he knows it. much as i respect the homers, i am not raising a red sox fan.


* the train engine. the object of p's first fetish.

confirmation


a couple of weeks ago i found myself sitting by the snack bar of a wal-mart pitching a job shadowing proposal to mr. sampson, the store's elderly and kind community involvement coordinator. as i spoke mr. sampson occasionally took a note with an old fashioned fountain pen and he sometimes parried by sharing stories of teens who have job shadowed in the past.

after i doubled down on my pitch by soliciting mr. sampson's support for a significant grant proposal i had submitted some weeks hence, mr. sampson set down his pen, looked me in the eye and said: "i hope you'll forgive me if i'm speaking out of turn, but it seems to me that you are in ministry." i was a little taken aback by his statement, since i rarely, if ever, have reason or occasion to discuss my faith in the context of a cold call. however, since mr. sampson brought the subject up i confessed to him that i am also a minister at a local church and i consider my work with rectangle to be an expression of my personal commitment to build all things up into the head who is Christ. after outting myself i asked mr. sampson what inspired his observation and he said that he had a son who is a minister in lynn and "i can just tell."

it is just as likely that our conversation was inspired more by coincidence than by the Source. but, in my life anyway, it is often coincidences like this, when combined with faith, that shed the light required to continue upon this way.

mid-day time waster

last week gm reported that due to slumping sales of trucks and suvs it will be shutting 3 assembly plants in the near future. some reports indicate that these plant closures may herald the beginning of the end for the hummer brand.

as we eagerly await the eradication of one of the most striking symbols of conspicuous consumption in this great land of ours, i think we should help gm generate generate some spin concerning the upcoming liquidation of their h2s and h3s. thus, if you could help me complete the following pithy, proleptic press release, i'm sure that the execs at gm would appreciate it.

"today, gm announced plans to disburse its remaining inventory of hummer vehicles by:

a) filling them with sand and strategically placing them on levees throughout the upper midwest."
b) shipping them to sunni sheiks throughout iraq in order to ensure the success of the military surge."
c) sinking them off the coast of new jersey in yet another attempt to create a productive artificial reef."
d) donating them to high schools throughout the country so that they can continue the grand homecoming tradition of smashing a car for charity."
e) your disbursement idea here: "

grrr...

as i settled into the library this morning i promised myself that if i worked really hard i could take a half-hour off to watch hillary's long awaited concession speech that was scheduled for noon e.s.t.

in order to earn my incentive, i worked hard until 11:55 pm, quickly gathered my stuff and mall-walked home...only to sit in front of my computer and stare at an empty podium for 37 minutes.

it's now 12:38 pm and she still has not taken the stage. after experiencing her remarkable ability to delay* the inevitable over the past month i guess i shouldn't be surprised.

so long, loser. you might want to keep a closer eye on those caucuses next time.

* that will probably be financed by obama's contributors.

do unto others...



the kid who pulled this lamentable, yet laughable stunt was planning to walk onto the team at gordon college.* however, on account of this one simple lapse of judgment, coach travis mcclanahan and president lawrence weill and the gordon college staff have decided to keep the kid from his humble, yet heartfelt dream.

i don't mean to be presumptuous, coach and president weill, but don't y'all have better things to do with your time than creating barriers for walk-on athletes? the kid is already going to be paying 10k more a year than an undergrad liberal arts education is worth. i humbly recommend that you return to your administrative duties, have a heart and "LET HIM PLAY! LET HIM PLAY!"

* which, for those of you who don't know, is an evangelical liberal arts school that employs a couple of my friends and is located about 7 minutes from the house.

ht: deadspin

mid-day time waster: edit those lyrics

earlier this week, in the most emphatic tones, mrs. clinton suggested, "i know what people are wondering, WHAT DOES HILLARY WANT?" although i don't know everything hillary might want, i suspect that she would love for us to pen a celebratory ode that marks the end of her campaign.

for that reason, i've been working feverishly to produce a piece that is worthy of hillary's epic defeat. right now i've got some of the lyrics down, but i need your help editing and suggesting revisions. the song's title is bridesmaid and it will be sung to the tune of wilco's muzzle of bees. thanks in advance for your help!

there's a failed democratic candidate
desperate for vp
she's always a bridesmaid
if you know what i mean

her furies shriek, some say they're barking
denver! or at least vp
some fems so frightened
of so-called misogyny

the scepter slips 'tween pantsuit knees
silently and suitably
whispering racial entendre
from the heights of glass ceiling
she cries misogyny

i'm assuming you got the message
produced by machine
the crackers dig her chili
if you know what that means

scepter slips 'tween pantsuit knees
silently and suitably
whispering racial entendre
she cries misogyny

red bill blows through
sweat hand upon knee
half of it's you, half is me
half of it's you, half is me

the poor are our teachers...at least until we pass that class

in the late summer of 2000, when i decided not to extend my time at l'arche so that i could continue with the regularly scheduled programming of seminary, melvin, one of the core members of the community and the undisputed patriarch of the house cornered me with the following question:

why do you have to leave?

after a brief moment of thought i remembered henri's dictum that "the poor are our teachers" and i attempted to build upon this wisdom by simply telling melvin that he had taught me so much about life, persistence and love. although i was indeed moving back to my country to attend graduate school, i promised melvin that i would take his lessons with me and would live a better life in light of his wisdom.

without missing a beat, melvin frowned and said: people are always leaving. and i have so much more to teach!

to that response, i had no retort. i simply told melvin that i would miss him greatly and would visit regularly (which i had the privilege of doing for another 2 years). after that we tromped down to community dinner and i soon set my course for a failed seminary career.

if i could go back and re-do that conversation with an inkling of understanding about life as it has turned out to be, i hope i would have the courage to tell melvin the truth. if i could indeed sack up in such an instance, i would look melvin in the eyes and say something like this:

"melvin, i'm sorry that you are going to miss me, but i can't stay. i have a full life in front of me and i need to validate my existence by trying to scrape together some sort of personal success. i have loved being here melvin, and your friendship means the world to me. however, educated people such as myself don't invest their lives in practical, day-to-day, incarnational acts of one-on-one service to others. instead, we need to increase our influence by empowering younger leaders and playing a more strategic role in ensuring that our shared dreams of community and justice become a reality. melvin, as much as i love greenwood house and as much as i have learned from you, from my perspective there is simply no percentage in remaining at l'arche for the time being. by the way, i've heard sven is making his curry again tonight. let's hurry down to dinner so that we don't miss out!"

as much as i love henri, i know enough about him to realize that while becoming a part of l'arche changed him on a deeply fundamental level he never seemed fully able to identify with the poor in spirit at richmond hill. i have no intention of denigrating henri's service and i know a number of people who were deeply blessed by his ministry at daybreak. however, i also realize that henri was never able to fully set aside his jet-setting, sojourning ways to stay at l'arche for any truly extended period of time. moreover, when difficulty beset his personal life he didn't have to work through all of his issues within the context of the community, but could retreat for up to six months at a time in order to take a personal sabbatical, write or simply visit friends.

as i reflect upon my time at l'arche, my current role within the rectangle community and henri's significant example, i cannot help but worry that my education, ambition and perhaps even my vocation will limit my ability to identify with the poor in spirit and accompany them in a manner that is genuine and not self-serving. i don't want to build a career upon the backs of people with disabilities, but would like to walk beside them, assist them, be assisted by them, advocate for them, and receive the blessing of their advocacy, in a truly mutual way.

i'm not necessarily saying that i will ultimately fail to experience this deep mutuality with those at the center of the community. however, when i reflect upon my participation in the lives of the l'arche as well as the rectangle community up until this point and ponder the path that uncle henri has walked before me, i realize how allusive such mutuality can be.

musing...

on a day crammed into the fourth grade, i offended my friend kari with some opinion or other. back then, much like now, i didn't much care when i offended someone by saying something i sincerely meant. but kari was a loyal, occasionally cute and always eager to please sidekick, so i apologized and tried to make it up to her.

a couple of days later, at one of those tacky school carnivals that are designed to snake money from babes, kari went over to the "jewelry" booth, picked out a lime green foot charm and had the shaky handed merchant engrave "to jeff: the foot in the mouth award," right down the arch. although i was a little shaky on my metaphors at the time, when kari awarded me with the trinket i knew enough to be incredibly embarrassed. with a two dollar shard she cut to my greatest contradiction.

when people read about God's questionable decision to "create man in His own image" i'm sure the story resonates with them in any number of ways. undoubtedly some see this part of the story as a proof text for yet another pro-life pronouncement, others see it as an endowment of rationality, still others consider it the initial spark of our species' creativity. but when i read it, or at least when i've read it lately, i hear in this text a connection between the God who speaks creation into being and my calling to somehow create with the written and spoken word.

some days i believe, sense, suspect that the kol YHWH or breath of God is coursing through me as i encourage a friend, convince a store manager that she can transform a life by offering my client an entry-level job or, in a stammering and stuttering way, attempt to explain to the pixie what her love and partnership means to me. however, on the other days that are most days, i realize that my mouth is a loose canon that has splintered many a foredeck of friend or foe and, far too often, has misfired, malfunctioned and damn near destroyed its operator.

it seems to me that these gifts that we have been given - to create with our words, to shape with our hands, to unravel the infinite mysteries of the cosmos with our minds - are a blessed curse that are more likely to destroy us than they are to inspire our creativity. for this reason, as i ponder the likelihood of becoming a full-time shill for a fragile non-profit and/or an untraceable God, i am terrified. i fear, that at the end of a life invested in such a manner, i will speak more death than life into being and, as a result, will be pinned with a pendant similar in type, if not in gravity, to the one kari awarded so long ago.

and yet, i am determined to stumble forth. for even in the midst of my terror, i have just enough trust in the Spirit and faith in intangible grace, to continue on the path set before me.

additional thoughts concerning confession
starring: yet another providentially displaced pastor





for additional dispatches in tony's emergent church road trip click here.

Truth or Convenience
submitted by: slowfo

The American Church is not really interested in truth as much as they claim. In many respects, the truth is only sought out when it's convenient and comfortable for everyone - making "The Church" just like everyone else in the world. It's safe to talk about truth in Church......just don't start itemizing everything, okay? Because you'll have Betty confessing she told a fib. Conner saying that he speeds too much. But there's always Cliff in the joint who confesses his sexual trysts with octogenarians and it just ruins it for everyone.

Although God sees sin as sin, people definitely don't. But I think it's truthful confession that could really make Church more of the life-changing journey it was meant to be. Confession. No holds barred confession of sin. At least the Catholic Church continues their confession booths with the priests. But what about Protestants? The best we seem to do is "Honestly......it's hard for me to say this.....(voice cracking)...I really struggle with pride sometimes at work." Whoa, that's an earth-shattering revelation! Did one of your employees just hear that? Because "proud" is probably not what they would call you. It would probably be more like "self-centered, stingy, greedy, ego-maniac who just bought himself a $1.5 million house with cash while the rest of the faithful employees live on below-poverty wages."

Those sinned against don't have problems specifically calling out wrong-doing. It's the perpetrators (which includes all of us) that don't want to be held accountable by anyone. And for that matter, who does want their personal grossness aired for the public? But it's a different thing if everyone is candidly sharing the very real sin they've done for the week.

Imagine, what would it be like if people came together and could admit that they need help? Together they sought God and the support of other strugglers. They fully confessed ALL of their sin as a matter of cleansing. Everyone was held accountable to take real steps of healing in their broken relationships. And every week they celebrated the growth they took together. Can you imagine how freeing the Church could become? (sigh).....oh well, I don't see the Church changing that anytime soon. I guess we'll just leave that sort of healing to the 12-step groups, huh?

ablevision goes hollywood



triangle, one of rectangle's cousin organizations, has an excellent media production wing named ablevision. ablevision recently landed a huge interview with kevin james, late of my favorite sit-com the king of queens, and i thought i'd give them a little free publicity.

feel free to check out ablevision's additional clips on youtube.

mid-day time waster

i don't know about you, but when i listen to political rhetoric i find the frequent snapshot stories the politicians make to ordinary people and their concerns quite patronizing. i don't, as of yet, hate these stories quite as much as the personal interest pieces that have ruined the olympics, every major american sporting event and dancing with the stars, but i could do without them nonetheless.

for this reason, today's mid-day time waster assignment is to put your own snapshot story into one of the leading presidential candidate's mouths. feel free to ridicule the pol all you want, but let's keep it relatively clean.*

"Speaking to a re-energized crowd in Huntington, West Virginia, Ms. Clinton spoke to her core constituency by sharing the following story. 'As we celebrate this magnificent victory tonight and recommit ourselves to the goal of winning this nomination, I cannot help but think of Lilly Ann Miller who I met in Clarksburg last week. Lilly Ann is a single mother who served as an administrative assistant at West Virginia Coal Cooperative for twenty years until she was sidelined by type one diabetes and carpal tunnel syndrome. As Lilly Ann and I shared a funnel cake and a Diet Coke she told me that after all her years of hard work she is now uninsured and has no money to pay for the gastrointestinal bypass procedure that will help her lose weight and just might save her life. Under my opponent's health care plan, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, regular folk like Lilly Ann would not have access to the gastrointestinal procedure and might have to attempt to crack back into the college educated workforce in order to ensure the procedure that she so clearly deserves. If you love empowered women like Lilly Ann, like I do, and you are committed to ensuring that every American has the opportunity to access optional medical procedures, please visit my web site HillaryClinton.com. On that site you'll have an opportunity not only to make a donation, but also to join other small-town, life-long Americans who are committed to electing the candidate who will be ready on day one!'"

* this is, after all, a family blog.

for the record

i would be the worst.stay-at-home.mom.ever. it's not that i fail to get anything done when i'm home with a sick preston. rather every time i'm home alone with him i find a way to get nothing done.

there must be a special place in hell for men like me who've made fun of stay-at-home moms over the years. i admit it, on a couple of occasions in the past i have been an ignorant, misogynistic bastard when discussing this issue. i am truly sorry and i humbly repent.

buzz bissinger on blogs

i realize that i'm really late to this story - as well as pretty much every other story that has taken place over the past four weeks - but two weeks ago buzz bissinger, the author of the superb friday night lights, and will leitch, a dedicated cardinal fan and the editor-in-chief of deadspin one of the quirkiest, funniest and most popular sports sites on the net, squared off on costas now.

if you watch the clip* you'll notice that bissinger prefaces the conversation by defaming leitch for defaming athletes and then proceeds to eviscerate, with costas' help, sports blogs for posting pictures of athletes making arses of themselves, providing a forum for commenters to ridicule espn hosts and refusing inside access to press boxes and clubhouses, which are, apparently, the only place that sports writers can ascertain "facts" about athletes and athletic events.**

i think this clip is fascinating not only because of bissinger's ad hominem attacks as well as he and costas' apparent agreement to irrationally conflate blogs such as deadspin with more traditional sports reporting. i am also fascinated by both bissinger's implicit claim that "objectivity" in sports journalism is both possible only with a press pass and buzz's apparent ignorance of, or indifference towards, the fact that many mainstream sports journalists are now utilizing the blogosphere as well.

one more thing: in all of the analysis of this conflict that i've read thus far, no one has pointed out the fact that, for all his high minded arguments and significant writing ability, bissinger is not above writing a puff piece such as three nights in august which was commissioned by his subject and failed to contribute anything about la russa's managerial "genius" that could not be gleaned from one chapter of george will's men at work.

in sum, bissinger appears simply to be a profane, cranky old man bent on fighting irrelevance by shaking his fists at the inevitable. i should also add that although he comes off as a smart-ass know-it-all at times in this clip, i thought leitch fought his way out of this ambush quite well.


* which is not work safe, by any means. for the record: watching a clip in which bob costas utilizes the term "f*ck face," while strangely rewarding, will almost certainly draw the ire of your boss.
** which, in my opinion, many of us, including myself, take waaay to seriously than we should.

The Friendly Ghost and You: An Open Discussion Concerning the Holy Spirit

Slowfo: What if someone told you that there were 2.1 billion people in the world who had the literal ghost of Elvis Presley embedded in their body? Do you think you'd notice? And if you would notice, would it be obvious? Would they dance or sing better than most? Would they say "Thankyouverymuch" as all one word? Would they have a strong attraction to both drugs and doughnuts?

My point is that it doesn't seem to me that people really notice very much that the actual Spirit of the living God of the universe is embedded in the bodies of 2.1 billion Christians around the world. Don't you think Jesus-followers should stand-out a little more? Shouldn't there be a more obvious distinction between someone who has God's Spirit leading them and someone who doesn't? Or does the Holy Ghost really just have a more laid back personality than the Father and Son? Or is this where the more charismatic influence comes into play? I have few answers but many questions on this.

Gentry: Scott, I have more questions than answers in this arena as well. The fact that we grew up in a church tradition that was terrified of the Pentecostal/Charismatic traditions doesn’t help matters much. For my part, I can’t lay all of the blame for my ignorance at the feet of either our forbears or hucksters such as Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar. Since I worship with a number of Pentecostals I should have more of a perspective.

Anyway…I do think that the Holy Spirit should play a more significant role in the life of the Christian community and the individual believer. However, I suspect that far too often Christians, such as myself, have limited the influence of the Holy Spirit by seeking His presence in ecstatic experiences rather than in the midst of service. I know that for a number of years I expected to find the Holy Spirit in the midst of a rousing rendition of Better Is One Day during the True Devotions service at Soybean Bible. Where I didn’t expect to connect with him was in the midst of cleaning a toilet at L’Arche or pounding the pavement between employers whom I was hoping would give my clients an opportunity to work. I’ll give you three guesses where the Holy Spirit seemed to show up…

In the last year or so, I’ve felt the power and presence of the Holy Spirit at work when I have asked him to empower and guide me as I served the interests of others. More and more, I’m beginning to suspect that God is not as interested in worship wherein he is the sole object so much as he is interested in a form of worship in which he can interact and instrumentally empower us as we serve others. Don’t get me wrong, I still think there are good reasons to intentionally honor and praise God for His blessings. However, I think that our ecstatic experiences of God are more likely to occur in the midst of our attempts to actually be a blessing to the world. Maybe God is less interested in us swaying with our hands outstretched, singing and envisioning Him on the throne than he is interested in meeting us along the way as we pursue - with his absolutely essential help! - the mission of His Kingdom in this world.

I don’t have the time to root all of this in scripture at the moment, but I think that this connection between ecstatic experience/empowering connection with the Holy Spirit and mission is evident in the Acts narratives (see chapter 2, 6 and 9).

One more thing: if we’re to liken the Holy Spirit to Elvis, I suspect that his theme song is A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action.

on the next restorer


ht: junkyard

personal metrics

over the past eight years i have:

received 2 speeding tickets and 1 citation* for the destruction** of public property
served in a mega-church, a home church and a non-denominational church
had six girlfriends,*** one wife, one son and two dogs****
moved five times*****
fallen out of infatuation with the dave matthews band
fallen into infatuation with the sopranos, the office, fnl****** and the wire
smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked*******
watched******** six different teams win the world series
had seven different jobs at four different companies
owned or partially owned four vehicles
become an npr supporting member
started a blog
alienated old friends and reconciled with old enemies
married three couples
buried, fortunately, no one*********
swam naked in the seminary pool
attended two conferences
embraced arminian, reformed and idontknowimemergent theologies
baptized********** one close friend
preached 35 pretty awful sermons and 2, 3 or 4 decent ones
been pressed into service as, gulp, a street minister
developed ongoing, life sustaining relationships with the disabled communities in toronto, canada and medford, massachusetts
sustained, and been sustained by, a long-term connection with my spiritual director
obtained*********** a masters in divinity degree from s.h.i.t.

* beat it
** via urine
*** one of whom was dumped in transit
**** one of whom succumbed to sodium pentathol the other to old age
***** and helped j & b move three and, soon to be, a fourth time
****** later retracted
******* see also: drinking
******** but, sadly, only one in person
********* not counting the two dogs
********** and thus, according to the southern baptist friend of my youth, secured my slot in heaven
*********** pending unforeseen objections by the faculty character committee or completely unprovable unfounded charges of plagarism