hey, hey, ho, ho, go, go, go!

hey you bible college boys and girls, seminary drop outs and holy rollin' hep-cats should know, our internet crooners and cronies are puttin on one smokin' theological show. check it out:

beth over at until translucent is providing some punchy, pitch perfect reflections on the imprecatory psalms.

meanwhile, for two days dustball has been showing off his theological chops by riffing on the wrath of God and the down-home, finger-lickin' goodness of the gospel.

finally, steve holt is fusing tunes new and old and jammin' on about about the christian political soul.

the way of a pilgrim

last winter over dinner at an overpriced, franchised, suburban incarnation of a texas roadhouse, i asked my uncle how work was going. my uncle is more likely to randomly interject his roadrunner impersonations into a conversation than to take a question seriously, so i was surprised we he said, with his eyes as well as his voice, “you know, i wish i would have found a way to do something i actually like with my career.” then, as though he sensed reality could not withstand too much of his gravity, he gave me a goofy smile and said “youknowwhatimean, vern?”

that was just one strand of a conversation that took place over mediocre cuts of meat, but i’ve returned to it many times since. i love my uncle and deeply appreciate the way he provides for and deeply loves his family. but, in my occupational life, i do not want to follow in his footsteps. in fact, i suspect that one of the best ways to express my affection for him is to learn from his experience and find some kind of work that i can love.

of course the latter is easier said than done. ever since i was unexpectedly ousted from lightway.com i’ve been working a job that i hate and looking for work that i can love. i wish i could reveal what the latter work is, or at least tell you that i know what steps it is going to take to get there. but I can’t.

at this point, all i can affirm is that i am struggling to fix my sights on an occupation that can mesh well and maybe even dovetail with my vocation. moreover, once i find what i’m looking for (or at least something close), i am going to work like hell to make it happen.

why am i telling you this? because i need your help to make it happen. already, within the past week a number of you have listened to my bitching and kept me from capitulating to the fear that could keep me from moving forward and convince me that i should stay in a place that is as dissatisfying as it is safe. thank you for lighting a fire under my ass and reminding me that fear is a shitty master. i am also grateful for my more contemplative companions who are struggling through prayer and conversation to help me set a course. i am still hopeful that, with you’re help, i’ll find some sort of work that not only utilizes my gifts, but, much more importantly intersects with the interests of the body of Christ and the deep, desperate needs of the world. finally, i cannot thank the pixie enough for putting up with my oft dissatisfied self, pushing me forward and constantly reminding me that it is no small thing to live an ordinary life for Jesus. without her i would be utterly lost.

this week’s middle finger goes to…rodgers and hammerstein



last night, while chatting with ms. aubuchon she casually mentioned that she was going to see a community production of the king and i later in the evening. in response to her revelation, i immediately mentioned that the slap-happy optimistic tone of their musicals inspired me when i was twelve, but now the mere thought of happy talk from south pacific makes me want to do some blow and blast a cap in some unsuspecting joe. of course, ever since that conversation i have had do re mi, the farmer and the cowhand should be friends and, most egregiously, bali head* stuck in my head. so for plaguing my day with catchy tunes and american pluck, i must denounce rogers and hammerstein as two stupid ____.

*my father has long sworn that this song will someday be played at his funeral. i hate to upset his expectations, but chances are good that when he’s dead i'll be presiding, leaving him pretty much of luck.

how i spend my "sick" day



so i just finished body piercing saved my soul and i must say that it does not disappoint. throughout this engaging, episodic narrative andrew beaujon does not settle for providing an overview of the christian music industry but plunges headlong into evangelical culture by attending the annual gospel music convention and GMA awards, interviewing a number of CCM lifers such as steve taylor and even subjecting himself to modern worship cds. throughout his journey, beaujon occasionally critiques the superficiality of the industry (he makes several derogatory remarks about the supposed “jesuses per minute” expectations that are foisted upon artists and he finds it odd that the christian marketing reps go out of their way to deemphasize the size of joy williams’ breasts) and is often baffled by the more absurd expressions of evangelicalism’s “us against the world” orientation (as when he responds to a christian musician’s testimony of “persecution” by saying, “sorry, dude, a drunken idiot shouting ‘satan rules’ when you play in a bar isn’t quite the same thing as being nailed to a tree”). however, as at least one reviewer brighter than me has noted, the most compelling characteristic of the story is beaujon’s deep desire to understand evangelical culture and his overwhelming empathy concerning the intentions and aims of the wide variety of evangelicals (from jay bakker to dave bazan) that he encounters along the way. near the end of the book, i was startled by beaujon’s compassion for a culture that is not his own and challenged to be more charitable towards a culture that, like it or not, is my own.

there is also a wonderful little narrative twist near the end of the book that i am dying to tell you about, but i won’t. you’ll have to read about it.

additional highlights include: conversations with dave bazan, brandon ebel and david crowder, an intriguing profile of sufjan stevens, his quirky descriptions of the wow worship phenomenon and his unflinching observations concerning the barely subterranean tensions that still divide african-american and anglo christians in america.

minor lowlights include: his indifference towards americana music in general and bill mallonee in particular, the relatively unengaging profile on rock for life and the pro-life movement and the failure to mention – at any single point – the influence that progressive, christocentric, iconoclastic influence rich mullins levied upon contemporary christian music.

you should buy this book. so go on then…

rear-entry gentry and kevin smith clark present: alternate ways for dustin diamond to save his house


for many years, dustin diamond’s portrayal of samuel “screech” powers on saved by the bell made us laugh ourselves silly. then, in an unexpected and risky career move, he spent seven additional seasons inspiring us on saved by the bell: the new class. now, after years of satiating our entertainment needs, dustin diamond needs our assistance. we hope that the readers of musings seriously consider supporting our beloved screetch by buying a t-shirt, buying a brick or helping dustin come up with alternate ways to save his house.

we are emailing dustin the following detailed list of alternate ways for him to save his house later this afternoon. if you can think of any additional ways that dustin can increase revenue, pay off his creditors and so create a safe, loving home for his future offspring, please let us know.

1. serve as the corporate sponsor for the hot sundae: "i'm so evicted" tour

2. sell and distribute DVDs of a.c. slater surprising screetch with a hot karl.

3. star in a very special, 3 episode arc of king of queens as leah remini’s schizophrenic, sex-addicted, yet surprisingly funny homosexual step brother.

4. hire lark voorhies, or if she’s too busy, a legitimate lark lookalike for a screech-lisa turtle porno that features a dirty sanchez scene and is creatively titled: "screech and loosa turdle"

5. in addition to the "buy a brick" program offer the opportunity for contributors to a "take a piss" on yours truly. we think the financial potential of the latter idea is at least as bright as the former.

6. fight mr. belding in a winner take all, no holds barred, intermission special at ultimate fighting challenge: milwaukee.

please solicit your ideas immediately so that we can HELP SAVE SCREECH'S HOUSE!