"there is a difference between being vulnerable and bleeding all over the pulpit"

he said. i couldn't agree with him more. and yet, when i stand behind this pulpit that we call a 'post' i almost always feel the need to bleed. as i strike the keys the voice of my mentors ring in my ears. "that which is most personal is most universal" henri gently reminds me. likewise, quoting the tempest, buechner constantly beckons me to realize that "the weight of these sad times we must obey, and speak what we feel, not what we ought to say."

i've rarely felt the need to bleed as strongly as i do today. however, i also realize that this blood needs to gush out of the wound called repentance. thus, these drops should be shed in the closet instead of this pulpit.

that being said, i could use your prayers though as i slog through this process. repentance is damn hard work.

clogged up and confused

today there is more flem in my throat than mirth in my heart. i started struggling with allergies over a month ago when the wilcoxs took us camping up in the white mountains. i haven't really enjoyed a full day of health since. the doctor prescribed claritin as well as flonase and promised that 'hope is on the way,' but i'm beginning to doubt.

i started to write a longer post, but, due in large part to my flem infused brain, it reads like ninth-graders essay on a separate peace. i'll keep working on it with the hope of posting later.

go cards, go cards, go cards.

hhf you, hhf you, you're cool, hhf you, i'm out...

dour thoughts on the mind

melodrama all the time

talkin' about memphis

welcome to Oklahoma!

where cowpie throwing contests and civil war reenactments are verbotten, but cockfighting is still legal. did we tell you about our 3.2% beer? the state legislature has long said it is non-intoxicating.

altogether y'all, let's hear it: "you're doin' fine Oklahoma, Oklahoma, O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, Oklahoma, OK!"

is this heaven?

it's 2:27pm on a school day. the cardinals are up 6-0, i'm drinking a beer, lounging on my leather couch and looking forward to seeing schilling and santana tonight. i live for this.

even joe morgan can't soil this afternoon.

11 games to glory

a hung over grover cleveland alexander ambling out of the bullpen and striking out tony lazzeri to save the '26 series.

enos slaughter's 'mad dash' that unraveled the red sox.

gibson ensuring that boston's impossible dream was just that.

whitey's rats scampering around the carpet and dismantling harvey's wallbangers in 7 games.

i live for this.

confession

although i would like to say otherwise, my cynicism is a choice. cynicism is not a necessary result of my environment nor a certain consequence of my sin. i choose cynicism and so eschew hope. i confess that this choice is, in itself, sinful and must be remedied.

Spirit, with your assistance, i would like to work through my cynicism, so that i might become more enamored with, and subsequently colored by, the living hope of the gospel.

things i know now that i wish i knew then:

• ray miller's preaching mantra: throw strikes, change speeds, work fast


• that baseball was willing to teach me one of life's most important lessons: how to fail


• nashville country isn't good for you, but cash, haggard, jennings and nelson nourish the soul


• religious people who warm up too quickly are not to be trusted


• one should not bypass an opportunity to see braveheart on the big screen in order to watch the bridges of madison county. especially if the girl accompanying you to the latter is not easily persuaded


• with regard to women: if you think you can live without her, do


• the citadel is not the best place for students with a past history of insubordination


• one should not scale nine-foot, barbed wire topped fences in order to collect aluminum cans. even if the proceeds are going to charity


• spiritual formation is vastly more important than spiritual information. thus, i should have shunned gordon-conwell for l'arche


• although you might enjoy dumping a girl at an airport, it's probably best not to tell others about it

if you would like to share a piece of your accumulated wisdom, feel free.