Wednesday, May 14, 2008

mid-day time waster

i don't know about you, but when i listen to political rhetoric i find the frequent snapshot stories the politicians make to ordinary people and their concerns quite patronizing. i don't, as of yet, hate these stories quite as much as the personal interest pieces that have ruined the olympics, every major american sporting event and dancing with the stars, but i could do without them nonetheless.

for this reason, today's mid-day time waster assignment is to put your own snapshot story into one of the leading presidential candidate's mouths. feel free to ridicule the pol all you want, but let's keep it relatively clean.*

"Speaking to a re-energized crowd in Huntington, West Virginia, Ms. Clinton spoke to her core constituency by sharing the following story. 'As we celebrate this magnificent victory tonight and recommit ourselves to the goal of winning this nomination, I cannot help but think of Lilly Ann Miller who I met in Clarksburg last week. Lilly Ann is a single mother who served as an administrative assistant at West Virginia Coal Cooperative for twenty years until she was sidelined by type one diabetes and carpal tunnel syndrome. As Lilly Ann and I shared a funnel cake and a Diet Coke she told me that after all her years of hard work she is now uninsured and has no money to pay for the gastrointestinal bypass procedure that will help her lose weight and just might save her life. Under my opponent's health care plan, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, regular folk like Lilly Ann would not have access to the gastrointestinal procedure and might have to attempt to crack back into the college educated workforce in order to ensure the procedure that she so clearly deserves. If you love empowered women like Lilly Ann, like I do, and you are committed to ensuring that every American has the opportunity to access optional medical procedures, please visit my web site HillaryClinton.com. On that site you'll have an opportunity not only to make a donation, but also to join other small-town, life-long Americans who are committed to electing the candidate who will be ready on day one!'"

* this is, after all, a family blog.

5 comments:

Steve K. said...

brilliant!

kristi said...

i don't have time or talent to make up my own right now but this is awesome!

slowfo said...

Classic!

*Damn.....er.....shoot, it IS a family blog??

g13 said...

well scotty, you're almost family. so i guess you can say pretty much whatever you "damn"* well please.

* current and future employers would do well to note that i am not cursing in this instance but quoting.

Anonymous said...

"Recently I had lunch with Kevin and Amy Clark, a lower-middle class family in the midwest. They kept talking about people taking personal responsibility for their own actions, mentioning my WV friend Lilly Ann. Kevin stated perhaps the problem was Lilly Ann's penchant for funnel cakes, and the key to dismissing gastro bypass was directly related to the large amounts of deep-fried batter that she'd ingested over the years. And it's not the government's responsibility to bail us out of our poor eating habits when it makes us so obese we can't walk to the mailbox, by offering healthcare that will cover a bypass surgery. He likened it to declaring bankruptcy...it treats symptoms, but not necessarily the issue. I immediately referred him to BarackObama.com or JohnMcCain.com, for he clearly has skewed vision for America."

Thanks for the opportunity to vent.
--Kevin Smith Clark