gleanings from my morning reading

another celebrated evangelical leader, another hard nosed autocrat

everything bad is good for you

tiger and g finally find their way home

concerning the party of stupid

worst.idea.ever

a christian consumer advisory
by: slowfo

This is a public service announcement: There has been a trickling outbreak over the last year or two of people engaging in the watching of disgraceful movie content. These actions must be stopped. I am warning you. Do not do what I have done. This is my story.

I don't know where I heard it but someone encouraged me to spend my precious Netflix queue-spot on a movie titled, "Facing the Giants." I believe, "It's a great movie with a great message" is what I heard. Let me do you a favor and tell you that you should only watch this film if you are devoid of any and all possible entertainment options including exhausting the option of navel play.

Bad acting. Poor dialogue. And to call the story "predictable" is an understatement. It became a game for me to predict each scene a few moments ahead of when we viewed it....and what do you know?.....I was right every single time. It wasn't hard though. My seven year old was guessing right along with me.

Two good things have come from this movie. One, it does communicate that Jesus died to save mankind.....and two, if you really, REALLY turn to Him, you will receive (drum roll please)...a new car!!....a raise at work!....marital fulfillment including the children you were told would never be born to you!!.....and years and years of occupational success!!

Christianity Today couldn't even stoop so low as to give this film a thumbs up. Josh Hurst writes, "when a film is as unintentionally corny as this one, it's anyone's guess as to how many viewers can stomach all the schmaltz for the positive message at the end."

This movie did bring back some funny memories for me though. Anyone remember the "Thief in the Night" cheesy Christian "exploitation" film of the 70's? If not, YouTube it. Watch some of the scenes with the sound down and it will be tough to tell whether the movie is about to turn into Cheech and Chong or gay porn.

Back to the film at hand. Here's a social experiment for you....go to your local fundamentalist church this Sunday, nudge the churchgoers next to you and tell them what a horrible piece of film making "Facing the Giants" was.....and watch their faces! Ah, what fun. You might even hear one respond to you by saying, "Ya know Jesus said, 'The world will hate you because they have hated me.'" To them, you might just say, "How 'bout the world just hates bad movies. And this is one of 'em."

Lastly, this film does have some redeeming value. Try this for your next party night....grab bottles of whiskey, sit down and watch this film and drink every time tears come to the eyes of any actor on film. You'll be enjoying your evening straight away.

reader response: the soul of baseball: a road trip through buck o'neil's america by joe posnanski

for some reason, i've really struggled to finish books lately. right now i have bookmarked copies of killing the buddha: a heretic's bible, not for sale, graphic novels: stories to change your life, harry potter and the deathly hallows and keep your donors lying in various places all over the house. however, when i cracked open my discounted copy* of the soul of baseball earlier this week i simply could not put it down.

if you're a fan of ken burns' documentaries, hail from kansas city or know anything about the negro leagues you know the name buck o'neil already. if you don't, here's the briefest of synopses: buck was a solid negro leagues player, the long-time manager of the kansas city monarchs (who were, depending on who you're talking to, the yankees or the red sox of the negro leagues) and the most engaging ambassador that either the negro leagues or professional baseball has ever seen.

throughout the book, as buck speaks to and greets folks from every walk of life it quickly becomes clear that buck is not simply an old ballplayer, but a priest who shares the sacraments of celebration and forgiveness with everyone he meets. if you want to understand the priesthood of all believers that saints from peter to r. paul stevens have been extolling for ages, you best read this book.

thank you for blessing us with your presence buck and congratulations on your recent (long overdue) enshrinement in the hall of fame.


* which i came upon at the christmas tree shop, of all places, and purchased for a mere $2.99.

with eyes bright and boots on

i'm going to be moving to an office with a view* on monday, so i guess it is finally safe to report that i've been promoted. on monday i will be starting a new role as rectangle's strategic partnerships director. in this new position i will soliciting public and private foundations, managing all promotional copy and overseeing the 'tangle's volunteers and interns.

ever since my promotion was unofficially announced, my colleagues have alternated between congratulating me and sternly warning me "not to become an a*shole" on account of my new position.

for my part, i know that i am already an occasional a*shole and i am not focused on increasing the frequency or diameter of the latter anytime soon. however, i'd be lying if i told you that these consistent admonitions have not, to a degree, got to me. for that reason, i have constantly been reminding my colleagues that i have always been focused on our participants and would not take the position if it did not help the participants achieve more independent, prosperous and meaningful lives. i've been so insistent on the purity of my intentions that on a couple of occasions i have told colleagues that i am considering hanging one of the pictures of my successful students on the wall. underneath the picture, i told them, i plan to have someone with far better handwriting than mine write, "it's all about the participants."

the last time i launched into the latter apologia, i actually got a lump in my throat and my voice cracked. in the moment, i thought that my visceral reaction was simply evidence of my sincerity. however, on further reflection, i fear that i've confused sincerity with a mistaken belief in my own bullsh*t.

regardless, full of sh*t or not, i'm pulling up stakes on monday. here's to hoping that in my new role, more often than not, i find innovative and effective ways to help all people and all things grow up into him who is the head.

* of the parking lot, but still.

five simple reasons the cardinals should sign barry bonds

1. the man can rake.

2. his defensive liabilities can be offset by late inning defensive substitutions.

3. he'll make the major league minimum and would be easy to release.

4. history has proven that larussa can wrangle the roiders.

5. affirmative action. the cards only have 1 african-american player and i don't think rico washington will be around for long.

an op-ed worth reading

i love living in the boston area. residing in the cultural and educational center of the country and living in a neighborhood full of friends that is a mere five blocks from the ocean is hard to beat.

however, after living here for eight years i am starting to believe that massachusetts is not only first in education, but also first in government corruption. whether it's the beverly softball field that took fifteen months to build, the three quarter mile salem connector road which has been in the building process for years, beverly's irresponsible and manslaughtering police, boston's disabled and coked up firefighters or the 22 billion dollar boondoggle that is the big dig, corruption seems to ooze from every civic orifice.

for that reason, i really appreciated jeff jacoby's current op-ed, entitied are we angry enough to fight back in the boston globe. it's about time somebody started tellin'.

skunk hunters

anita's afraid of spiders and i'm afraid skunks. so on saturday afternoon, while cleansing the backyard, what did we see?

after we had already emptied the doomed shed of its tiki torches, buckets of methanol and other, mostly useless, contents, i swept offal off of a sauder bookshelf, hoisted it by end, swung towards the door and nearly sh*t my pants when a skunk was revealed.

since i was afraid of being sprayed, we opened the doors to the shed, called animal control to see if they could rectify the problem,* and assumed that the skunk would make his exit during the evening hours.

on sunday morning i, hesitantly, checked the shed again to see if our skanky friend had left and was relieved when it appeared that he had. so, on sunday afternoon, when i once again grabbed the sauder shelf by end, i was comforted by the fact that he was nowhere in sight. unfortunately, as soon as i hoisted the shelf what did i see but i dirty sneak of a skunk, looking back at me.

so i dropped the shelf and backed slowly out of the shed. as soon as i was clear, the skunk scampered across the floor and appeared to wedge himself in the southeast corner of the shed that is closest to the house.

by that time, i was scared and pissed. so, while maintaining a safe distance, i found all of the large stones that littered our backyard and i started a full-frontal assault on the shed. first my stones took off the doors, then my stones pulverised the corner of the shed in which the skunk was (presumably) shaking. i assumed that at some point, i would smell the skank's sweet death! but alas, victory was illusive.

at just that moment, anita, dressed in church clothes and sporting open toes, stopped by the backyard. drawing upon her immense reservoirs of courage, she went and moved the sauder sh*t again, but the skunk was not there. she then looked in the corner where i assumed the skunk had stolen away. but he was not there either.

at that moment, assuming that the skunk had snuck under the partially rotted shed floor, i decided to take offensive action.

wielding a thirty pound, five foot long auger, we started to destroy the shelf swing-by-swing.






so we swung...


















and swung...


















and tugged...














until we tore that damn shed down!








after we had dismantled the shed and pried up the boards what should we see!?

no skunks! but instead a legion of wood, long-leg and fiddleback spiders. at that moment anita fled and i was too tired to completely dismantle the shed.



but two nights later, after a cowardly, night-time assault by our aforementioned foe, return we did! we fully disposed of the shed, flooded the skunks borroughs with environmentally friendly glycerin, ran roughshod over every spider and vermin we laid eyes upon and so became the baddest a*s skunk hunters 4 judson ever did see!

the end.

* as for animal control: if you call them to smoke your beloved pet, they're jonny on the spot. but request help with unwanted vermin and they simply instruct you to make the skunks listen to terry gross all night long. thanks for the help, ye wonderful publik servants!

the power of a praying pastor

something tells me that jeremiah, who is an old soybean bible friend and currently a pastor with the apex community in vegas, has established a far more sustainable bi-vocational occupation than i have.

if you know christians who are staunchly anti-gambling or have poor relatives who seek provisions from slot machines, be sure to share with them this example of how God providentially blesses prayer-full risks.

come on miah! little 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant jesus needs a new pair of shoes!

musing...

i hesitate to admit this, but lately i've been pursuing hypermiling as a personal discipline. i am not by nature a very patient or passive person. thus, driving no faster than 62 and confining myself to the right-hand lane has been a real challenge for me.

although i'm only in the second week of this initiative, i have already realized that this expression of intentional slowing is leading me towards greater depths of personal reflection and prayer. i am constantly flagellating myself for failing to demarcate enough time for solitude, prayer, journaling and spiritual development. moreover, since i most often encounter the Other in the midst of such practices, i think that a fair amount of the self-condemnation is deserved. however, hypermiling is reminding me that in addition to reaching out in silence, i also need to pursue holiness and communion in the midst of the ordinary activities of my day.

so i guess hypermiling is an effective treatment for my incipient gnosticism. who would have guessed?

overheard: the ten most hypocritical christian athletes

4. Andy Pettitte

HOW MUCH HE LOVES JESUS: In his sports metaphorically-titled book, Strike Zone: Targeting a Life of Intregrity and Purity, Andy Pettitte had this to say about how he wants to live his life for the Lord, “As a Christian I also have one goal. I want to fulfill God’s purpose for my life. I constantly ask myself “What does God want me to do?” and “Where does He want me to go?”

WHY JESUS HATES HIM: WHY JESUS HATES HIM: Apparently God wants him to do steroids. And he wants him to go to the congress and lie about it. After getting called out by Brian McNamee for taking H.G.H., Pettitte needed to read Romans 13:1-5, a passage in the Bible that says you shouldn’t lie to the civil government. Did he really need to find that line to be sure about lying? I guess Pettitte initially thought the explicit “Thou shalt not lie” commandment actually meant “Thou shalt not lie…unless you’re talking to someone who was elected to office. Then you can lie your ass off. Amen.”

you can read up on the other offenders over at holy taco.

ht: deadspin

get some!

next week generation kill, a seven part hbo mini-series that is based on evan wright's remarkable book* of the same name, is premiering on hbo.

the mini-series is produced by the team that created the wire and is probably the only show worth watching this summer.

check out the trailer here.

read an interview with ed burns, one of the co-creators of the wire and the mini-series here.

check out one bullet away: the making of a marine officer, a book that is related to generation kill, here.

over the past six months media critics and culture watchers have been talking about the public indifference to movies such as stop loss and in the valley of elah that attempt to chronicle and capture the experience of the iraqi catastrophe. i hope that the public tunes in and turns on to generation kill since it is one of the most insightful portraits of the war that i've come across thus far.

* tip o' the hat to josh brown for turning me on to the book.

this guy is my hero



ht: jenny a and bringbackwillie

a brief public service announcement from your friends at jaded

over the past couple of weeks we have noticed that there is a positive correlation between the rising gas prices and the increased use of bicycles in our communities. this trend is, in general, a good thing insofar as bicycling is environmentally friendly, beauty enhancing and fun.

however, before you join the growing legions of cycling citizens please consider these friendly admonitions.

1) "it's called a sidewalk, not a sideride!" as this little nugget of wisdom from our good friend junkyard reminds us, bikes belong in the streets, not on sidewalks. if you are under 12 years old or live in a carefully manicured, SUV infested subdivision, riding along sidewalks is acceptable. however, if you live in any sort of urban environment you should not be riding upon a sidewalk under any circumstances. if deplorable street conditions, construction or narrow roadways force you to take the sidewalk, please walk your bike. if you are avoiding the streets because they feel dangerous or you are uncertain of your cycling abilities, please take a bicycle safety course, strap on a helmet and sack up.

2) all together now: "it's called a crosswalk, not a crossride!" people who fail to follow this admonition will be impaled upon industrial plastics in short order.

3) if you are wheezing, bobbing and weaving and/or generally interfering with traffic you should tighten things up by riding a stationary cycle and/or practicing your riding in a parking lot until you are ready for the road. while driving a motor vehicle sideswiping is considered a crime. the rules for pedal powered vehicles are no different.

4) in regards to spandex, compression shorts and underarmour please use discretion. if you don't want to look at it in the mirror, rest assured that the general public doesn't want to look at it either.

5) learn to communicate effectively with other vehicles. relatively few of us remember the funky hand signals for right hand turn, stop and the like that we were taught in fourth grade. however, the overwhelming majority of us know how to point to our left, point to our right and point with our middle finger if need be. please put this basic knowledge to good use.

since we do not know the variations of biking laws and customs in other communities throughout the country, please feel free to add additional friendly admonitions below.

overheard: slowfo shares this man's insecurities

pipe down, beantown
by: mark bechtel

SARTRE WROTE that "hell is other people," but if he had spent less time eating croissants in Paris cafes and more time downing wings in sports bars, he probably would have written that "hell is other fans." All fans are insufferable to those who don't have an affinity for the same team; being forced to listen to, say, a Kansas City Royals buff regale you with the exploits of rookie shortstop Mike Aviles is no better than listening to a grandmother go on and on about her little darling's toilet training.

That said, there's one group of "other fans" that stands out in its tediousness. Think Matt and Ben. Think Sweet Caroline. Think Sartre pronounced without the r's.

Yes, we're talking about Boston fans.

Read More

don't you know it's hard?

yesterday, after i invested an extra hour and a half in the game, basically ignoring my wife and child in the process, the cardinals were finally vanquished by a youkilis homer in the bottom of the thirteenth. when the cardinals survived inning opening doubles by the sox in the tenth, eleventh and twelfth, i feared that losing would be a tough blow. however, although i might have uttered an unholy word when youk's ball cleared the centerfield fence, i was able to let go of the game surprisingly quickly and rest in the fact that we won the series and took the sox to the limit.

now that we are almost three full months in, i am ready to admit that this is one of my favorite cardinals teams of all-time. these boys aren't as talented as the brewers, don't have hear the budget of the, admittedly impressive, scrubs and their pitching staff couldn't be worse off if they had spent the first quarter of the season in abu graib instead of extended spring training. yet, these boys have scrapped and clawed their way eleven games over .500 and they are currently sitting in the wildcard catbird seat. much like the yankees of the mid-90s, yet with far, far less talent, these boys have shown they know how to grind.it.out. i think tony la russa, dave duncan and all the rounders such as ludwick, schumaker and molina should all be issued wallets that read - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - if you know what i mean. these guys know the game is hard and they play it hard. if they were pilots, i'd say they were flying "ice cold with no mistakes."

i, on the other hand, am a candy ass who utilizes doubt, cynicism and resignation as a screen to filter the hard realities of life and hold out hope that life is going to become easier. just this weekend i read an interview with tim keller at christianity today, in which he states that Christ followers should not water down the demands and complications of the gospel lest we fail to let people know that "to be a Christian is going be very, very hard." for some reason, that odd little sentence attributed to keller really sliced me open.

to live a prayerful life is hard. to chose to serve instead of seeking to be served is hard. to believe that the poor are the rightful inheritors of the Kingdom is hard. to bind my desires for relevance and influence and lead them up to mount moriah is hard.

so today i'm trying to mind keller's wisdom and follow in the footsteps of aaron miles and my beloved boys of summer. it's far past time to set the user-friendly faith i've been trying to forge aside in order to follow in the hard footsteps of Jesus.

straight truth from a southern baptist mouth

i ran across the following quote by jimmy draper, former president of the southern baptist convention, on the missio dei blog.

“We have reached a place that our spiritual forefathers feared. We need to admit that the problem with America today is not the government or the politicians. It is not Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or John McCain. It’s not the senators or representatives. The problem is not the educational system or the economy. It’s not the liberals or the abortionists. The problem lies with us.

We conservatives claim to have the truth and we think we are rich in spiritual position and power, but yet we are cold, complacent, impotent and unattractive, and irrelevant to the world.

I hate to say it, but we are not plateaued. We’re not even just declining. We’re in a free fall. You know why we don’t win the lost? Because we don’t like them. They are different from us. We don’t care for them. We have no real love for them.

People just don’t touch eternity when they are around us. We’re too self-absorbed.”

i don't know about you, but when i read this my mis-formed jaw about hit the floor. i expect this kind of commentary from the will campbells and agent bs of the world. not from a former sbc president.

ht: missio dei and steve k's google recommendations.

the ebb and flow of God's grace
submitted by: slowfo


You're probably not as heartless as I can be at times. But I've caught myself over the past several weeks not paying much attention to that earthquake over in China. Ya know, the one that killed at least 55,000 and left 80,000 missing. I haven't read one full article about it. Honest. You've probably read all about it and already sent money over to help but I haven't yet. Maybe it's because it's a natural disaster and there's no one to blame.......or because it's just so far away. It is, however, a horror that has left lives and families in tatters.

To put it in perspective, let's imagine the worst - that all 80,000 missing are also dead. That would result in as many deaths as Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. Or let's hit closer to home - that's the equivalent of the Twin Towers bombing occurring in over 38 United States cities all at the same time. Read that again. Thirty-eight Twin Tower bombings. Where was God's grace? Why didn't He rescue these people? Or did He act and keep it from being hundreds of thousands of deaths?

I felt the anger over the Twin Towers incident. I had someone(s) to blame. But I haven't been angry about the earthquake. Should I have been? As our insurance companies would classify it, an earthquake is an act of God. You mean like the Twin Towers was an act of Osama Bin Laden??

I've always grown up with a foundation of gratitude to God for all good things in my life and on earth. To this day, "Thank you" are the first words out of my mouth when I pray. But the tragedies on earth, whether personal or global, lead me to a question I wrestle with at times. If we give God thanks for the good things that happen, do we also blame Him for the bad?

Whoa, wait a minute! God didn't create this world to be bad like it is...man did that part. But, since sin entered the world, if God has occasionally intervened in order to avert disaster in the life of a person, city, country, etc., then there have also been many times when He has chosen not to intervened and has appeared to withhold his grace. And if He didn't act, then why not? It's not because He's too weak to act or is too busy. And in the same way, Jesus didn't heal every single illness or disease when He walked the earth. Of course, Jesus was gracious with His healing but confined somewhat by His humanity.

Grace means receiving the good things we don't deserve. Is God's grace ceaseless and never-ending? Is it as reliable as the rising of the sun each morning? In His mind, yes. I believe it is. In the minds of humanity, not so much.

talking about p

this morning preston was in the best of moods. so why we were sharing a bagel i started plying him with questions.

"does your daddy love you?"
"yeah!"

"do you love thomas?*"
"yeah!!"

"do you love the cardinals?"
"ummmmmmmm..."

the little man best watch his step or we'll be resettling in saint charles before he knows it. much as i respect the homers, i am not raising a red sox fan.


* the train engine. the object of p's first fetish.

confirmation


a couple of weeks ago i found myself sitting by the snack bar of a wal-mart pitching a job shadowing proposal to mr. sampson, the store's elderly and kind community involvement coordinator. as i spoke mr. sampson occasionally took a note with an old fashioned fountain pen and he sometimes parried by sharing stories of teens who have job shadowed in the past.

after i doubled down on my pitch by soliciting mr. sampson's support for a significant grant proposal i had submitted some weeks hence, mr. sampson set down his pen, looked me in the eye and said: "i hope you'll forgive me if i'm speaking out of turn, but it seems to me that you are in ministry." i was a little taken aback by his statement, since i rarely, if ever, have reason or occasion to discuss my faith in the context of a cold call. however, since mr. sampson brought the subject up i confessed to him that i am also a minister at a local church and i consider my work with rectangle to be an expression of my personal commitment to build all things up into the head who is Christ. after outting myself i asked mr. sampson what inspired his observation and he said that he had a son who is a minister in lynn and "i can just tell."

it is just as likely that our conversation was inspired more by coincidence than by the Source. but, in my life anyway, it is often coincidences like this, when combined with faith, that shed the light required to continue upon this way.

mid-day time waster

last week gm reported that due to slumping sales of trucks and suvs it will be shutting 3 assembly plants in the near future. some reports indicate that these plant closures may herald the beginning of the end for the hummer brand.

as we eagerly await the eradication of one of the most striking symbols of conspicuous consumption in this great land of ours, i think we should help gm generate generate some spin concerning the upcoming liquidation of their h2s and h3s. thus, if you could help me complete the following pithy, proleptic press release, i'm sure that the execs at gm would appreciate it.

"today, gm announced plans to disburse its remaining inventory of hummer vehicles by:

a) filling them with sand and strategically placing them on levees throughout the upper midwest."
b) shipping them to sunni sheiks throughout iraq in order to ensure the success of the military surge."
c) sinking them off the coast of new jersey in yet another attempt to create a productive artificial reef."
d) donating them to high schools throughout the country so that they can continue the grand homecoming tradition of smashing a car for charity."
e) your disbursement idea here: "