put it where it doesn't belong

there's no other way to say it, my day at the SS has been a fucking mess. i'm brutally bored, my blood is up and i'm on the verge of blowing my promising career in giftware to smithereens.

fortunately this furrow browed, death inducing day has not been without humor. five minutes ago, while i was puzzling over a stack of long-ignored invoices, i heard patty smith, my sweet, slot machine lovin', 65 year old co-worker, matter-of-factly repeating the following titles to a customer:

"want a whipping?

clean clothes, dirty mind.

want to get lucky?

thanks for making me stretch.

you and wine are best drunk."

after she completed her list, i about shit. i had no idea that we had decided to carry the "hustler home accents" line.

overheard

over the past few weeks, i've been coming back to this entry from uncle henri's the inner voice of love time and again. so i thought you might find it intriguing as well.

keep trusting God's call

"as you come to realize that God is beckoning you to a greater hiddenness, do not be afraid of that invitation. over the years you have allowed the voices that call you to action and great visibility to dominate your inner life. you still think, even against your own best intuitions, that you need to do things and be seen in order to follow your vocation. but you are now discovering that God's voice is saying, "stay home, and trust that your life will be fruitful even when hidden."

it is not going to be easy to listen to God's call. your insecurity, your self-doubt, and your great need for affirmation make you lose trust in your inner voice and run away from yourself. but you know that God speaks to you through your inner voice and that you will find joy and peace only if you follow it. yes, your spirit is willing to follow, but your flesh is weak.

you have friends who know that your inner voice speaks the truth and can affirm what it says. they offer you the safe space where you can let that voice become clearer and louder. there will be people who will tell you that you are wasting your time and talents, that you are fleeing from true responsibility, that you fail to use the influence you have. but don't let yourself be misled. they do not speak in God's name. trust the few who know your inner journey and want you to be faithful to it. they will help you stay faithful to God's call."

i hear you uncle henri. by God's grace, i'll continue upon this road of descent.

sometimes i wish…

that i was one of those gracious people who made every person they spoke with feel like they were the most important person in the world. i’m sure you’ve encountered these magnanimous individuals, who listen carefully to your every word, find a way to relate to every experience and are able to encourage people with wise words instead of unreflective opinions.

i wish i was that way, but i’m not. when i don’t want to talk to someone, by body physically recoils. when an uninvited individual invades my space, i quickly re-establish boundaries. and in those rare moments where i physically force myself to slap my empathetic face on and receive people well, anyone who looks in my eyes knows that i’m being false.

there’s a guy at my work who is as extroverted as i am intro and his love for small talk is almost as great as my hatred for it. but i constantly slap my empathetic face on in an attempt to be the person that i wish i was and - truth be told – in order to score a few of his red sox tickets.

i am jack's self-loathing.

An Open Invitation

Hey friends,

Boston's emergent co-hort will be meeting for the first time on Tuesday, April 18th at 7 p.m. at Bukowski's in downtown Boston. Bukowski's is located at 50 Dalton St., Boston, MA 02115. I'd provide more detailed directions, but trust that you can use google maps and read T maps as effectively and efficiently as I can.

Craig Lewiston and I will help facilitate the first gathering, but we really want this co-hort to be a shared venture. So come ready to introduce yourself, share your idea of what the co-hort should/could be, laugh a good deal and drink a pint or two. Maybe, if things get really crazy, we'll tromp over to the Christian Science Center which is located near Bukowski's for an ad hoc educational tour.

Ok, maybe not.

I hope that you can take the time to connect with us. I'll don some Saint Louis Cardinals gear so we'll be easy to locate and I'll be sure to share the four spiritual laws with the surrounding patrons before we meet, so that we won't feel guilty about failing to fulfill the Great Commission between 7 and 9 p.m. on that particular night.

If you have any questions about our gathering, or would like to hear 15 reasons why the Chicago Cubs are the most pathetic team in professional sports, feel free to shoot me an e-mail or give me a call.

Peace of Christ,

Jeff Gentry

One more thing - Craig is in the process of securing a domain name and setting up an interactive Word Press blog for our co-hort's use. I'll let you know when the site is up and running and will clue you into the first topic of conversation (Right now, I'm leaning towards "How our co-hort can intentionally inflate the sales of Brian McLaren's books," but such thoughts are always subject to change).

And again... - Feel free to invite anyone and everyone who is interested in dialogue - and/or has a distinguished record of "picking up the tab" - to join us.

Lord have mercy

In my experience, death washes over us in waves. Fortunately, I have enjoyed many seasons of drought, when death is so absent that I almost forget its omni-presence. However, I have also weathered a season or two when death has been at high tide and the grief and difficulty of accompanying those I love through the deluge has been almost overwhelming.

For many that I love, this appears to be one of the latter seasons. Kevin Rains and his remarkable community at Vineyard Central in Cincinatti have suffered through the death of two of their church leaders, Mark Palmer and Chad Canipe, in a one-month period. Both of these men had a passionate love for God, were innovative church leaders who invited many into God’s community and, perhaps most importantly, left behind wives and children. Please join me as I pray the Vineyard Central community through this difficult time.

Furthermore, Becky's church is enduring the tragic shooting death of one of the young men in their community. Having been a part of a church that endured a school shooting, I can tell you that the shock and the grief that follows these sudden events is often overwhelming. Please a moment to support this community in prayer.

Finally, another friend and her family is enduring through the despairing death of her uncle. Pray God’s mercy upon those who are crushed by the broken machinations of this busted world. Ask the Spirit to provide their family with solace during this time.

Like I’ve said before, I don’t think our Judeo-Christian tradition provides us with many answers about suffering. However, the fathers and mothers of our faith who struggled forward before us as well as our suffering servant of a Lord have labored to show us how, even in the darkest of nights, to hold out hope for the dawn. Let us pull upon the riches of our tradition as we pray, serve and accompany our beloved ones through this season of grief.

show and tell

i have been known to walk, talk and preach in my sleep, but unlike many others (hi there, holli-brooke) i have never had many lucid dreams. but last night was an exception to the rule.

it all started when i stumbled into our bathroom and was startled to find that it was literally splattered with shit. there was shit smeared on the windows, shit caked in the crevice between the handle of the flusher and the basin, and our hand towels, which had apparently been used in lieu of sanitary paper, were smeared with shit. as soon as the stench of shit hit my nostrils, i knew who perpetrator was an old acquaintance who has, dare i say, less than reputable hygienic tendencies.

so i had my old college buddy matt woodrow drive me down to the corner store where this fellow kept a satellite office. after a quick interrogation, i wrestled a confession out of the bastard, found out how he entered our locked house – i figured the basement window was his most likely point of access, but it turns out that he used wayne newton’s backstage door instead – and, grasping him firmly by the neck, i physically forced him into the backseat of the car.

once we got back to the house, i vehemently berated the guilty party while he cleaned and disinfected every inch of that bathroom. after he finished, i resisted the urge to physically harm him, but i made damn sure he knew that his life would be in jeopardy if he ever shit stained our bathroom again.

what’s the moral of the story? if you ever decide to spray shit all over our bathroom, there will be hell to pay.

i also had a more peaceful dream that focused on negro league baseball, stowe, vermont and chicken cordon-bleu. but my show and tell time is now up.

musing...

The pixie should pen this post, not me. But since she is still a bit reticent about blogging, I’ll take a quick stab at it.

As I continue down the path of discipleship, I am beginning to realize that I will probably never be the pastoral superstar that I was trained to be. I don’t think that sinners and saints will develop into a mega-church, I won’t lead a pastoral staff that’s larger than a major league roster and I doubt that I’ll spend my weeks speaking at conferences and weekends facilitating retreats. Thankfully, I’m learning to be ok with the fact that I’m called to be Andrew instead of Peter and, under the guidance my wife and spiritual director, I’m starting to develop a theology of the ordinary.

From my perspective, a theology of the ordinary does not provide you with the principles of schematics that you need to do “great things” for God, but rather enables you to not only to endure, but love a difficult co-worker. Moreover, a theology of the ordinary does not enable you to interpret the Word of God for your community, but it does suggest some ways that you can incite and participate in a community of interpretation. As with so many of my posts lately, this one needs and deserves a far greater amount of development and thought. However, I like to share my inclinations as much – or more – than I like to share my “conclusions,” with you. Moreover, I think that a number of you might have something to add.

May God’s face shine upon you and His Spirit guide you as you learn to sketch out your own ordinary theology. Much love.

so that's why they call him "the rocket"

"All the Team USA pitchers -- and pitching coach Marcel Lachemann -- were in awe of Roger Clemens. But one thing they weren't ready for was Clemens taking that Icy Hot that pitchers rub on their shoulders and arms and spreading it over his upper thighs and private parts. "He doesn't want to get comfortable on the mound," says Jake Peavy, who tried the same trick Friday night in Phoenix. " -from "the commissioner's" espn insider blog

hey...he stole my metaphor!

for a number of months i have been describing sinners and saints as a centrifugal church (okay, most of the time i mistakenly spoke about it as a centripetal church, since i'm not much of a physicist, but still...), insofar as we are committed to equipping people for ministry, blessing them and sending them out when they leave and continuing to provide some form of accompaniment as they continue to incarnate the Kingdom throughout the world.

i'm not going to lie to you, i thought this metaphor (even when incorrectly communicated) was a clever way of communicating the passion of our church. then i went on steve holt's blog today and found out that fred peatross used my metaphor to describe the missional church in this article. of course, he also explains the concept in a manner that is much more cogent or concise than i could ever muster.

so i'm thinking about sticking his ass with an "improper use of intellectual property" suit. then he'll think twice about effectively appropriating my ideas.

musing

on wednesday night, as i was leafing through neil lanctot’s excellent historical survey negro league baseball: the rise and ruin of a black institution, my eyes drifted over to one of our bookshelves. resting somewhat conspicuously on the bookshelf was james sire’s the universe next door. for some reason, the sight of this book got me thinking.

i thought about how books like the universe next door, the scandal of the evangelical mind and worldviews in conflict have challenged young evangelicals, including myself, to pursue academic studies with rigor and fully apply our intellect to the Christian faith. i thought about how the desire of evangelicals to attain intellectual credibility has intentionally or unintentionally resulted in a lot of the progressive and innovative thought that we see in circles such as emergent.

i feel like we were taught to study rigorously and expand our experience of life, but then quickly return to the assumptions of our evangelical forbears. for instance, in seminary i felt like they handed us the tools of textual criticism, which exposed the rich layers of tradition and compilation in the Pentateuch, and then expected us to faithfully affirm and fight to the death for the assumption of mosaic authorship. moreover, the uncompromising evangelical commitment to mission has introduced many of us us to, and encouraged us to invest in, cultures throughout the world, yet when we returned home we were expected to leave our cultural assumptions unchallenged and our methodologies unchanged.

i hope that no one hears me hammering on our evangelical tradition here or scoffing at those who have trained and invested so fully in our lives. this is not an attack of any sort. i just find it interesting how initiatives such as the evangelical scramble for intellectual credibility give birth to such unintended consequences.

“God said it. I believe it. That settles it.”

I think that most of us have seen that bumper sticker at some point in our lives and I am sure that many of us found it unsettling. When I hear someone speak about scripture in that manner, I assume that they regard Scripture as a pile of propositional bricks with which they can build their house or, perhaps, they think of it as an ideational 2 x 4 with which they can smack those who disagree with them over the head. So I’m completely uncomfortable with that kind of absolutist, propositional approach.

But I am still quite willing to do something simply because “the Bible told me so.” Is that a contradiction?

I think not. But in order for me to submit my life to Scripture in such a manner, I’ve had to alter my metaphors. I no longer look at Scripture as 66 old piles of propositional bricks, but as the record of how God, through the Holy Spirit, has and is shaping his people to worship Him, love one another and incarnate his presence in the world. Since I believe that the same Spirit that inspired the Scriptures and has shaped God’s people throughout history is still moving within and shaping both me and my community, I do not hesitate to submit my life to the Scriptures. So, in the end, I am still willing to do things “because the Bible said so.” But my motives for doing so are a bit different now than they were in the past.

I don’t know if this makes any sense at all. This kind of topic deserves more careful treatment, but I don’t have the time to offer that right now. Just thought I’d let you know what I’m thinking.

overheard

my friend dustin just penned an excellent, proverbial article that was featured in 7ball magazine. if you take a few minutes to read following the ants, i think you'll like it.

i've added steve holt - STEVE HOLT! - to the ole sidebar. he and his wife chrissy are planning on creating incarnational communities of christian compassion in the boston area. be sure to check out his blog, which i'm sure you'll dig.

agent b continues to provide regular reports conerning his incarnational ministry. i'm so glad that larry cannon over at lifeway turned me on to this guy.

eth·no·cen·trism (thn-sntrzm)
n.

1. Belief in the superiority of one's own ethnic group.
2. Overriding concern with race.
3. Choosing to broadcast the conclusion of a meaningless, domestic N.I.T. game instead of the intriguing first inning of the World Baseball Classic.
   

questions that are confounding my infantile mind

why is the united states of america a featured country in epcot’s “world showcase?” isn’t that a little redundant?

does anyone else suspect that adam morrison is the older brother of that autistic baller that was recently featured on espn? the other day he attempted a avant-garde, "defense by jumping jacks" approach. he's one strange duck.

why are people sending out patriotic spam to mark the third anniversary of this futile war?

why are “it” personnel almost universally condescending? relatively few car mechanics, vacuum repairmen and hvac technicians i’ve known expect to be treated with reverence and awe. why do computer mechanics expect to be treated differently?

how many tattoos must one have to work at the friendly toast? does their management refer to body art as "flair"?

why do people keep calling my cell phone and asking for hamlet?

why have i ignored the ncaa tournament for so many years? the tourney provides one of the most complex and compelling plot lines in all of sports.

why do we allow companies to treat us like commodities?

why is it so hard to love and so easy to hate?

why am I expected to walk on emotional egg-shells with SS sales reps? i need to save my sparse reserves of eq for our customers. our sales reps are going to have to develop thicker skin.

why do i continue to put up with blogger (the aol of the web log world) when free, open-source options like word press are available?

why are the decades old embargos against cuba considered sound policy? wouldn’t capitalism crack their ideological walls a hell of a lot quicker than imposed isolationism?

musing

in other news...a couple of weeks ago i mentioned that while i was well-grounded in the ecclesiolae, or local church, i was quite clueless about my role in the ecclesia. well, over the past month or so the Lord has provided a number of connections with the larger body of Christ. in the past month i have been introduced to an intriguing cast of characters including the aforementioned ben d10 - who leads a relational homechurch in atlanta, steve and chrissy h. - who are about to leave the confines of abilene christian university in order to plant relational churches in the boston area, michael m. and john d. - two forward thinking and long faithful gents with whom i hope to help start an emergent co-hort, steven from lcc - who, along with his incredibly gifted wife, have been incarnating the Kingdom in afghanistan, hank w. - who is heading up an intriguing church plant in the boston area and jason a., a passionate Christ follower who is a part of d10s crew. i am excited about partnering with these folks as together we seek to be the incarnation of God throughout the world. i desperately hope that our developing relationships as well as any work we do together will honor God and leave our personal ambitions unfulfilled.

musing...

"holiness is sustained attention to the heart, the source of all action. it concerns itself with the core of the personality, the well-spring of behavior, the quintessence of the soul. it focuses upon the formation and transformation of this center." -richard foster, streams of living water, pg. 83

lately i've been doing a lot of good things: extending hospitality to people who are visiting our community, applying myself fully at work and participating in this season of penitence and reflection that prepares us for the resurrection of our Lord.

lately i've been doing a lot of good things, but i haven't been living from the center. one moment i'm intentionally serving the Lord and accompanying my brothers and sisters in Christ and the next moment i'm failing to serve the interests of our community or setting a remarkably poor example for our community. these spiritually bi-polar episodes are really starting to wear on me and, i fear, my beloved ones as well.

i hope that during this season of holistic deconstruction, the Lord makes good on his promise of restoring all things. i long for him to purify my heart, to increase my dependence on His animating Spirit and re-establish an enduring connection between my intentions and actions. i want Him to teach me how to connect with the larger body of Christ without weakening my connections to my most beloved ones and i want to learn how to be a true tentmaker instead of a ministerial mercenary. i want to be led towards the via media that, i suspect, exists between my idolatry of space and the open spaces wherein i provide unlimited access to my heart.

Lord, help me endure this season of holistic deconstruction. i look forward to your restoration and long to be more fully integrated into the body of your holy people.

overheard

"Jesus is there only for others...Our relation to God is not a 'religious' relationship...but our relation to God is a new life in 'existence for others,' through participation in the being of Jesus...the church is the church only when it exists for others." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer as quoted in Foster's Streams of Living Water

I was stunned by this assertion by Bonhoeffer that our "relation" to God is not something that is primarily focused on our edification or even our salvation. Rather, our "relation" to God is an invitation to invest our lives in and allow our stories to unfold in the midst and on behalf of others.

My prayer is that our "relation" to God will lead us into a proper "relation" with others, among whom we freely give and freely receive, freely embrace and freely surrender. God has blessed us by making us recipients of His grace. By the indwelling of His Spirit, I pray that he will teach us to live lives of "gratuite."

where I skirt the issue and settle for a quote

From my perspective, the Judeo-Christian tradition doesn’t offer a lot answers about the source or origin of suffering. I know that oceans of ink have been spilled on this issue and there is even a type of theological inquiry - known as theodicy – that tries to unravel the “problem of pain.” I am thankful for the work my fellow sinners and saints have done in this area, but I have not found any of their answers persuasive.

However, while our rich tradition doesn’t seem to provide many solid answers, I think that it does provide us with incredible resources for persevering through our pain. In fact, if we utilize these resources - which include innumerable texts such as Job, Proverbs, the Gethsemane stories and the Apocalypse of St. John – I’m convinced that together we can persevere through the trials and travails which regularly confront us and occasionally even find a few streams in the desert.

Why am I saying this? Well, because I’m really stumbling forward right now on a path that intermittently skirts the edge of the abyss, and I need the self affirmation. Also, I thought it would be wise to provide a little context for this Henri Nouwen quote from The Inner Voice of Love *

“This is what Jesus means when he asks you to take up your cross. He encourages you to recognize and embrace your unique suffering and to trust that your way to salvation lies therein. Taking up your cross means, first of all, befriending your wounds and letting them reveal to you your own truth.

There is great pain and suffering in the world. But the pain hardest to bear is your own. Once you have taken up that cross, you will be able to see clearly the crosses that others have to bear, and you will be able to reveal to them their own ways to joy, peace and freedom.”

So there you go. Simply writing this stuff out is therapeutic for me. Thank you for taking the time to listen.

* In answer to your question ahbahsean, stick with Nouwen. I think his books are excellent, if not essential, companions for this journey.

overheard

“we can do no great things. only small things with great love.” –Mother Theresa

Lord, remind me of Mother Theresa’s wisdom when i feel the temptation to be spectacular and powerful. remind me that my life will not be measured by the size of our congregation or the scope of my influence, but by our community’s attempts to proclaim the gospel of Jesus, incarnate His compassion and apply the Sermon on the Mount to our lives. when temptation comes, fill me with your Spirit so that i might remain faithful to both this calling and ministry in this particular place. amen.

this and that

for the past week the sinners and saints community had the privilege of hosting a week of e group from lcc. for an entire week josh jackaway and his friends tyler and knox served with beverly bootstraps, slept on our floors, played halo into the wee hours of the night and connected with members of our community. highlights of their visit included:

* teaching knox how to give and receive a “high five”
* tyler leading our community’s discussion of Luke 16…er, I mean, Luke 17
hearing about the hilarious exploits and overwhelming trials of deion – the boys’ imaginary best friend
* talking at length with josh and tyler about our dreams and intentions of serving God
* watching josh and tyler compete for the coveted title of “world’s most whipped man.”
* i particularly enjoyed whipping all three of their asses at halo on a daily basis

several weeks ago I met ben d10, a good friend of jon wise, who just so happens to lead a home church community in the atlanta area. i am incredibly excited about connecting with ben and his community and am looking forward to partnering with them as together we seek to incarnate the gospel of Jesus Christ and apply His teachings to everyday life. if you’re interested in intriguing theological reflection, constant dialog and/or finite element engineering, be sure to check out ben’s blog.

if you live in the boston area, try to stop by sinners and saints’ fourth annual saint patrick’s day party. our little shindig will be kicking off around 7 p.m. at kellie and i’s place (e-mail me for directions). holli-brooke and I would like to make this our first official home church keg party, but something tells me that our fellow home church leaders will never let that happen. probably for good reason...

that’s all for now. have a week.