memorandum from captain random:

while i'm witnessing the deconstruction of the sox - which i prophesied before the series began - i thought i'd bore you with a few divergent thoughts.

---

every time i as i watch crafty veterans like eddie "vagasil" harris, uh, i mean paul byrd, pitch or manny ramirez hit, it reminds me how important it is for baseball players to replicate their mechanics. pitchers like byrd, maddux or glavine* succeed because they are able to replicate their mechanics on a consistent basis. often one minor adjustment in such mechanics can alter or end a pitcher's career. the latter happened to dizzy dean I when he slightly altered his mechanics to compensate for a broken big toe and consequently shredded his shoulder and was traded to the cubs.** where was i going with this??? oh yeah, the older i get, the more i realize that replicating mechanics is not only essential to success in baseball, but also success in life. as i tell my students, if you can show up on-time for every shift, consistently shirk the voice of self-rejection and fin a way to remain positive in the midst of a pissy world you are well on your way to success.

so why don't i practice what i preach? i desperately need to replicate my mechanics in the practice of prayer, blessing those who curse me, loving my enemies and addressing today what i often put off until tomorrow.

are you listening? if so, here's my secret. i woke up last tuesday and decided to root for cleveland. i respect their pitching staff, enjoy watching sizemore and their other young slashers and respect their baseball ops staff.*** but the primary reason i'm joining the tribe is that i'm sick of rooting for the microsoft red sox. the tribe has less than half their payroll, consistently develops the majority of their own talent and refuses to invest in pricey trifles like nancy drew. in short, i'm rooting for cleveland because i'm a class warrior. so eat it, john henry, you stupid cow.****

new nick hornby novel out today, in case you were wondering. i think hornby is one of the most humane authors of our generation. can you dig?

the sox are going to have to lay down another unlikely three spot in order to save their arses from o-blivion. like i said before the series began: cleveland in six.

over at rectangle, i had the opportunity to participate in the training of a new employment specialist today. in the midst of my attempts to show him the cold calling ropes, share a few of my schemes and circumvent the colleague dramedies i remembered how fortunate i am to have a job i love. of course, i'll probably, eventually, screw myself by exchanging the job for a half-baked dream of a pastoral ministry, but right now I am at home with the me. I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure.

this saturday our church is renting out our meeting space to a wine, ale and mead festival. since i have the keys to that particular kingdom that means free drinks for me. how cool is that?

have you ever had a hysterical auto-erotic story that you'd love to share with the viewing public but are legally constrained from doing so?

yeah, me neither.

people i'd cast for the playoff promos before casting dane d-bag cook: john cusack; tommy lasorda;***** alyssa milano; dennis leary.

pitchmen even dane d-bag cook could trump: chris boom-boom berman; joel osteen; helen keller; anamatronic harry caray.

your candidates?

can i just say that i am enjoying fatherhood even more than i thought i would? our preston is incredibly special.******

fifteen second review of friday night lights, season 2: brilliantly acted, exquisitely shot, had me at howdy and full of ratings ploy plots that will probably kill the show.*******

nancy drew popping up in the bottom of the ninth? unbelievable.

* yes, i realize that regardless of his recent post-season success, byrd does not belong in this company.
** then, as now, such a trade signaled the end of a career.
*** speaking of which, chris antonetti, please.please.please bless the lou with an opportunity to interview and a few years of your young life.
**** unless you decide to return to your roots and rescue the team of your youth from our republican owners. then i'll be happy to eat you or do anything else you desire. think about it johnny...who can resist fleur-de-lis a la gentry.
***** yes, even the dementia addled, depends wearing version.
****** we use the latter adjective when speaking of our son because it is deliberately ambiguous and adequately covers both extremes of the IQ spectrum.
******* i wanted to say "abort the baby" but i can't say that here, can i?

pride and joy

musing...

a little over a month ago, when my dog was still in the hunt, i stayed up late to watch the conclusion of the marlins - cardinals game. if memory serves, the cardinals were trailing 3 - 1 in the bottom of the eighth when armando benitez stomped to the mound and recorded two quick outs.

then the game went weird.

benitez quickly induced a weak chop to short that hanley ramirez cleanly fielded and immediately looped over the first baseman's head. at that moment i was as elated as benitez was pissed.

after cursing ramirez, making a lewd gesture to his crotch and wondering aloud why he ignored his spring training ritual by failing to slaughter three chickens to the lady of guadalupe, benitez decided that he could throw fastballs by the bottom half of the cardinals order.

unsurprisingly, benitez was wrong. after fouling back two pitches or so molina slashed a single to the gap to pull the cardinals within a run. then after molina advanced on a hermedia error, ryan ludwick thwacked a four seamer into the visiting bullpen for the lead. at that point fredi gonzales finally walked to the mound to pull benitez and the whole infield, sans ramirez, walked to the mound to strategize.

after the inning i was so convinced that benitez would attack ramirez that i sat on the edge of my seat. according to espn's rob neyer benitez is the best pitcher since zambrano to successfully pair severe anger issues with such a pithy iq. as you might have guessed, the cardinals went on to win the game and thus experienced a small victory in what has been a season (for fair weather fans) to forget.

i mention this simply because often when i face a relational conflict at work or am overwhelmed by the imbecility of the general populace i react a lot like benitez.* for instance, just this morning, when dealing with mind numbing inefficiency at rectangle, i felt like denouncing the social work status quo and flaming every bleeding ego within a fifteen cube radius. fortunately, instead of aggressively goring my coworkers and deemphasizing my clients' job searches in order to start one of my own, i had the wisdom to call upon my consilieres who were more than willing to hear me out and help me strategiez a better way forward.

one of those consilieres is a former ed** of a homeless organization in the midwest. this young leader, who has been recently cited by the milwaukee journal sentinel as robert de niro's doppelganger, recently told me that he once began a staff training by passing around a baseball to each member of his staff. after giving the staff a few moments to fondle the rawhide and fiddle with the seams, de niro's doppelganger asked the staff what would happen if a pitcher threw nothing but high heat to every batter he faced. inevitably, the staff concluded that if all a pitcher brought was high heat he would eventually walk way too many batters and be taken yard far more often than he would like. at that, the ed reminded his staff that just like jeff "soupy" suppan relies on a wide array of pitches to achieve success, his staff needed to diversify their approaches if they wanted their clients to taste success.

so, on account of my rectangle experience and consiliere's advice, i'm desperately trying to develop my secondary pitches. as much as i'd like to tell you otherwise, i'm learning that when it comes to healthy human interaction the old number 1 just isn't enough.

* but not zambrano. my 37 iq puts me in a class far above the big z.
** for the laymen among you, that's an abbreviation for executive director, not erectile dysfunction. get your heads out of the gutter.

i'm with rod on this one...

along with many others, i've been thinking quite a bit about the protests in jena, louisiana today. i could say more about this subject, but my opinion pretty much lines up with rod dreher's and he writes so much better than i do.

"Let me stipulate right up front: what happened to the Jena 6 was unjust. No question about it. I am grateful for the national attention to this story, and am grateful too that justice is finally being served.

But the sight of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton leading the march there today makes me sick. These guys are both dirtbags who thrive off of exploiting racial discord."

read more...

rock the vote


i'm probably the last person in the baseball world to hear about this, but marc ecko - some hipster i know next to nothing about - has purchased barry bonds' 756 home run ball and is now allowing fans to determine the fate of the ball.

so log on to www.vote756.com to vote on whether the ball should be: a) donated to the hall of fame; b) branded with a red asterisk before being donated to the hall of fame; or c) banished into space on a rocket ship.

i personally voted for option b because i think it is the most humiliating option and i think that the asterisk would encourage some idiot commentator* to construct a tortured analogy in which the brand on the baseball would be likened to the lamentable legacy of southern slavery.

so go forth and vote an then return to share your reasoning.

---

update!

espn.com is now reporting that bonds, who has a well-documented penchant for leaving the income he receives from merchandise sales unreported and utilizing such funds to purchase homes and other amenities for his whor girlfriends, is calling marc ecko an "idiot" for spending $750,000 on the ball and doing something "stupid" with it. ecko did not respond directly to bonds' criticism but did offer to design a shirt for bonds that reads "marc ecko paid $752,467 for my ball, and all i got was this 'stupid' t-shirt."

is it just me or is this turning into one of the greatest practical jokes of all time?

* calling stephen a. smith. baseball tonight needs your opinion, stat!

the return of the cohort

hey one and all,

after a four month hiatus boston's emergent cohort is finally reconnecting. here are the vitals:

date: tuesday, september 25th
time: 7 p.m.
place: cambridge brewing company in kendall square (1 kendall square, cambridge, ma 02139)
purpose: generative conversation among friends

if you are an old cohort member, we'll look forward to continuing the conversation. if you're new to this cohort we'll look forward to connecting with you, together considering the beauty, goodness and truth of God's Kingdom and perhaps discussing how we can partner together to pursue Christ's mission in this world.

if you have questions about the cohort or would simply like to drop me a line at gentry13@gmail.com, feel free.*

peace of Christ,

gentry

* for those of you who have already dropped a line and until now have received no response, please accept my apologies. i've been a bit overwhelmed by the new father bit as of late but am hoping to be a tad more responsive in the near future.

musing...


about three months before preston was born my mother-in-law told me that after the baby was born life would become a whole lot simpler for me.

in that (brief) moment, i wondered whether she was certifiable.

but, as preston begins his fifth month of life i must confess that my mother-in-law was right. since preston entered our life i've realized that obsessing about my personal story is far less important, and much less fulfilling, than wholly investing myself in his story, the narrative of my marriage, the life of my community and the reconciling mission of my God.

so life has become a bit simpler. i'll drink to that.

overheard...

rod dreher over at crunchy con recently linked to this piece by amy wellborn dubruiel, a catholic blogger who i don't know but feel like i should.

anyway, in the piece above amy provides a horrifying tour through some of the more egregious expressions of contemporary EEEvangelical* worship and suggests why such expressions lead many christians to long for liturgy and tradition.

as i read her post, i was particularly touched by the great example northeastern christian church in louisville set for my own bretheren and sisteren by foregoing worship on july 1st to host showings of evan almighty. nice.

if you take a few minutes to read the article, let me know what you think.

* in his brief introduction, rod labels these forms as "emergent." since emergent is a generative conversation, not a worship style or a sermon series on sanctified, astroglide-anointed sex, i'm going to have to disagree with rob on that characterization. i hope that people do not start using the label emergent as a tag all of the worthless pop-art, market-driven, mega-church worship styles that most of us in the emergent conversation love to hate. that mis-characterization would be tragic.

a quick update

it's been over twenty days since i posted, so i thought i'd s.p.e.w. a little drivel.

over the past couple of weeks i've been:

• playing politics, er, i mean diversify my responsibilities at rectangle by writing grants, abstaining from inter-office sin and solidifying my position as placement king


• investing as much time as i can in ministry at the gathering


• continuing to learn how to love my wife like Christ loves the church
  


• enjoying every minute i spend with my old/new housemates, the de franzas


• preparing for my final seminary class which i ultimately realized i do not have the money to attend


• walking the dizzle and her new "friend" general jackson


• taking preston to daycare every morning, picking him up every afternoon and loving every minute of it


• looking forward to reconnecting with friends from the second city


• laughing my arse off at this post on this site


• wondering why the cardinals are outperforming their pythagorean record by nine games


• starting to get excited about halloween...


• but resisting the the temptation to attend the rectangle halloween party as a black-faced, pixie stick sniffin', pin stripe sportin' dr. k
  

that's all for now. expect the valiant return of somewhat reasonable and meaningful posts in the not too distant future.

This Just In!



in a repentant and surprisingly faith affirming statement on monday, former falcons' quarterback michael vick testified that:

"i will redeem myself...i have to."

"through this situation," vick continued, "i have found Jesus."

what vick failed to mention during this press conference is Jesus is either:

1. his new mexican pit bull supplier (remember, vick once referred to himself as “ron mexico”)

2. the pet name vick is giving his former business partner and future cell mate in block 34e

3. or the most badass dog in all of honduras. record: 126-0 with 35 confirmed kills

spiritual disciplines of the office life

this morning as i wound my way into work i found myself thinking about the spiritual disciplines that enable me to sustain, and somedays even succeed at, my job. after logging seven months at my current work site, i'd have to say that steering well clear of office drama is the most important spiritual discipline i practice in the workplace. i don't know about your work site, but ours is always filled with more gossip, petty rivalries and punctured egos than you could stir with a stick.

although i'm not always able to steer clear of the aforementioned career carcinogens most days i'm able to eschew the drama and stay focused on serving my clients and company well. don't get me wrong, i don't consider myself superior to my coworkers nor do i think i'm too good to delve into the daily dramatic fray. i've simply realized that repeating my friend andrew's occupational decree - "i don't do drama." - has saved my sanity on a number of occasions and continues to make my current position viable.

what spiritual disciplines of the office life keep you alive?

robert putnam discovers what evangelical church planters have known all along

in sunday's edition of the boston globe* there was an article entitled the downside of diversity that focused on robert putnam's recent research. putnam is a social researcher and activist who has spent a number of years studying american's patterns of civic engagement. in bowling alone**, putnam's most well known work, he identified and discussed the growing social dislocation and subsequent isolation of individual americans.

in putnam's most recent surveys has found that ethnically diverse american communities have lower rates of civic engagement and interaction. interestingly, he has found that in these diverse communities individuals tend to not only distance themselves from individuals of other backgrounds, but also live increasingly separate lives from others of their own ethnicity. for putnam, who is deeply committed to the ideal of civic engagement, these findings are quite disturbing. as the article mentions, putnam is afraid the results of his research will alienate him from other social progressives and encourage the xenophobic tendencies of many anti-immigration activists and others on the far right of the political spectrum.

for my part, i found the study interesting because it appears to confirm a long held assumption in church planting circles that is known as the homogeneous unit principle. simply stated, the homogeneous unit principle asserts that since mono-cultural church plants grow faster than ethnically diverse christian communities - i read a short study on this years ago and this assertion seems to be true - churches should focus their ministry upon on one ethnic group. when i was first taught this principle in a church planting class at soybean bible college by a well-known mega-church leader i was shocked that the church growth movement would advocate an approach that appears to completely ignore the clear teachings of st. paul in ephesians and romans. in the previous epistle, paul identifies the "mystery" of the gospel as the fact that Christ has torn down the barrier wall between jew and gentile in order to create a new community. on account of st. paul's teaching i was disturbed by this principle and mentioned my concerns to my teacher. i am sorry to report that my teacher's response was quite simple: whether you like it or not the practice of the homogenous unit principle is a practical way to encourage church growth so we should apply this principle to church planting.

ugh.

while i don't disagree with the fact that mono-cultural churches grow more quickly than multi-ethnic christian communities*** and have little doubt that putnam's disturbing findings correlate closely to our national reality i do not think that we should forego diversity in our communities or forsake our hopes for fully integrated church communities simply because such initiatives are difficult. surely Christ's abolishment of the wall of hostility and the better angels of our participatory democracy suggest that we should continue to invest ourselves in the difficult work of diversity and so embrace dr. king's dream as our own.

* if you live in massachusetts and consistently read the other major daily, you're incredibly stupid. you heard it here first...
** yeah, i haven't read it either.
***if you disagree take a minute and think about the number of well-known, non-pentecostal mega-churches whose attendance mirrors the diversity of their communities at large.

overheard: on not transforming the culture

yesterday's edition of christianity today online featured an article entitled, on not transforming the culture by mark galli, the senior managing editor of CT. when i first read this article, i found it intriguing because it seems to call evangelicals away from a niebuhrian focus on transforming culture towards a more individualistic focus upon discipling individuals and setting up the church as an institution that is contra culture.

i think that galli's work is interesting insofar as it reminds us that "transforming the world" is an end rather than an effective means of Christian work. however, i'm afraid that his argument oversimplifies the diverse idea of mission that is presented in the NT and his apparent elevation of the individual over the system is both historically evangelical and problematic. i have more to say about this, but i have to go teach a class.

please take a few moments to read the article, chew on the quote below and join the conversation.

"We are certainly responsible for going to the ends of the earth and making disciples from people of every nation. There is plenty in Scripture about doing justice and loving mercy and feeding the hungry and caring for the widow and orphan. But I find little or nothing about us having the task of transforming the culture.

We fall into this rhetoric because we know the problems we face are huge and we feel so small. We worry that if we don't boldly proclaim that we can "change the world," everybody will give up before we even begin. We all face the common temptation of Adam and Eve. We want to feel significant. We want to feel like we're players. We want to make a difference in the world. And only by imagining that we can change the world do we think our actions have any meaning."

historically inaccurate, but funny


historically accurate and funny

words of wisdom, quotable quotes

when i received a personal update email from a close friend this morning, i was amazed by the following quote. i would like to say more, but i really need to get to work:

"I have been thinking about the fact that we idolize ministry among the "marginalized." We want to minister to these folks because that's who Jesus was especially concerned about... but even in our churches we want them on the margins. We don't want to give them the microphone... at least not for more than a quick 2-5 minute testimony. The rest of the time we want someone "educated," "balanced" and "together" up front, keeping order. But real ministry among the "marginalized" makes you marginalized! It is messy and unruly and uneducated and emotional and gutsy and shabby and embarrassing. It's hard to be in fellowship with those who are hard-core, right wing republican / homophobic and loud about it! Ugh! What do we do? Stay and give? Stay and be embarrassed and frustrated?"

thoughts?

musing...



last night i and a couple of my closest had an opportunity to catch bill mallonee at club passim in harvard square. by all accounts it was a remarkable evening filled with unexpectedly delicious vegan pizza, an extended set of heartbreakers by bill and a chance to catch up with bill and his lovely wife muriah rose.
there are so many things i could say about bill and his music, but since i've got an appointment in five i'll settle for this one. after spending years engaged in an important conversation about deconstructing and reconstructing church bill's music and life constantly remind me of the need to keep deconstructing myself. for it is only when i shine the lights through the cracks and coax my inadequacies into consciousness that i am prepared to receive the heart-wrenching, wholly undeserved, reconstructive grace of Christ. in sum, bill constantly reminds me that mortifying truth is always preferable to half-concealed hypocrisy.

i love the way that man lives the gospel and am certainly better for his (however limited) companionship on this journey.

now, back to building all things up.

musing

as i mentioned to my friend aaron and a couple of others this week, in regards to worship i am beginning to suspect that most Christ followers have very little interest in collaboratively creating the content of Christian teaching or shaping the liturgy of the church every week. since we live in a society wherein we are constantly engaged in the process of self-creation (see: myspace, blogging, fake breasts) i do not find it surprising that that relatively few people are interested in open source teaching approaches or truly interactive worship. rather, when they come to worship they simply want to hear the word, receive the sacrament and, perhaps, participate in the sharing/fellowship of their faith.

what is more, i really think this ok. while i really appreciate innovative services in which the teachings are dialogical, the worship is improvisational and the fellowship is quirky and unpredictable, i’m not sure that’s where i want to live. i would rather focus on cultivating the creativity that springs out of order and regularly practicing the traditions/disciplines of the faith in hopes that the tried and true paths will lead us towards something of enduring worth.

anyway, that’s what i’m thinking at the moment. does that sound traditionalist or what?

discuss


the thought of rosie o'donnell joining the cast of friday night lights is as despicable as:

1) fred thompson's pro-life record

2) lindsay lohan's "wild amputee" sex scene

3) rush limbaugh anchoring all things considered

4) michael vick, spca volunteer

5) joel osteen

only in massachusetts: helping hands monkey helpers


yesterday while researching grants i stumbled upon helping hands a massachusetts based non-prof that provides spider monkey assistants to quadri and paraplegic individuals. i've always had a particular affinity for our knuckle scraping forbears and heartily share david sedaris' sentiment that these monkeys are so cute it "makes you want to throw yourself in front of a bus just to get one."

m-m-m-my patronus!


what's yours?