This Just In!
in a repentant and surprisingly faith affirming statement on monday, former falcons' quarterback michael vick testified that:
"i will redeem myself...i have to."
"through this situation," vick continued, "i have found Jesus."
what vick failed to mention during this press conference is Jesus is either:
1. his new mexican pit bull supplier (remember, vick once referred to himself as “ron mexico”)
2. the pet name vick is giving his former business partner and future cell mate in block 34e
3. or the most badass dog in all of honduras. record: 126-0 with 35 confirmed kills