overheard: the ten most hypocritical christian athletes

4. Andy Pettitte

HOW MUCH HE LOVES JESUS: In his sports metaphorically-titled book, Strike Zone: Targeting a Life of Intregrity and Purity, Andy Pettitte had this to say about how he wants to live his life for the Lord, “As a Christian I also have one goal. I want to fulfill God’s purpose for my life. I constantly ask myself “What does God want me to do?” and “Where does He want me to go?”

WHY JESUS HATES HIM: WHY JESUS HATES HIM: Apparently God wants him to do steroids. And he wants him to go to the congress and lie about it. After getting called out by Brian McNamee for taking H.G.H., Pettitte needed to read Romans 13:1-5, a passage in the Bible that says you shouldn’t lie to the civil government. Did he really need to find that line to be sure about lying? I guess Pettitte initially thought the explicit “Thou shalt not lie” commandment actually meant “Thou shalt not lie…unless you’re talking to someone who was elected to office. Then you can lie your ass off. Amen.”

you can read up on the other offenders over at holy taco.

ht: deadspin

get some!

next week generation kill, a seven part hbo mini-series that is based on evan wright's remarkable book* of the same name, is premiering on hbo.

the mini-series is produced by the team that created the wire and is probably the only show worth watching this summer.

check out the trailer here.

read an interview with ed burns, one of the co-creators of the wire and the mini-series here.

check out one bullet away: the making of a marine officer, a book that is related to generation kill, here.

over the past six months media critics and culture watchers have been talking about the public indifference to movies such as stop loss and in the valley of elah that attempt to chronicle and capture the experience of the iraqi catastrophe. i hope that the public tunes in and turns on to generation kill since it is one of the most insightful portraits of the war that i've come across thus far.

* tip o' the hat to josh brown for turning me on to the book.

this guy is my hero



ht: jenny a and bringbackwillie

a brief public service announcement from your friends at jaded

over the past couple of weeks we have noticed that there is a positive correlation between the rising gas prices and the increased use of bicycles in our communities. this trend is, in general, a good thing insofar as bicycling is environmentally friendly, beauty enhancing and fun.

however, before you join the growing legions of cycling citizens please consider these friendly admonitions.

1) "it's called a sidewalk, not a sideride!" as this little nugget of wisdom from our good friend junkyard reminds us, bikes belong in the streets, not on sidewalks. if you are under 12 years old or live in a carefully manicured, SUV infested subdivision, riding along sidewalks is acceptable. however, if you live in any sort of urban environment you should not be riding upon a sidewalk under any circumstances. if deplorable street conditions, construction or narrow roadways force you to take the sidewalk, please walk your bike. if you are avoiding the streets because they feel dangerous or you are uncertain of your cycling abilities, please take a bicycle safety course, strap on a helmet and sack up.

2) all together now: "it's called a crosswalk, not a crossride!" people who fail to follow this admonition will be impaled upon industrial plastics in short order.

3) if you are wheezing, bobbing and weaving and/or generally interfering with traffic you should tighten things up by riding a stationary cycle and/or practicing your riding in a parking lot until you are ready for the road. while driving a motor vehicle sideswiping is considered a crime. the rules for pedal powered vehicles are no different.

4) in regards to spandex, compression shorts and underarmour please use discretion. if you don't want to look at it in the mirror, rest assured that the general public doesn't want to look at it either.

5) learn to communicate effectively with other vehicles. relatively few of us remember the funky hand signals for right hand turn, stop and the like that we were taught in fourth grade. however, the overwhelming majority of us know how to point to our left, point to our right and point with our middle finger if need be. please put this basic knowledge to good use.

since we do not know the variations of biking laws and customs in other communities throughout the country, please feel free to add additional friendly admonitions below.

overheard: slowfo shares this man's insecurities

pipe down, beantown
by: mark bechtel

SARTRE WROTE that "hell is other people," but if he had spent less time eating croissants in Paris cafes and more time downing wings in sports bars, he probably would have written that "hell is other fans." All fans are insufferable to those who don't have an affinity for the same team; being forced to listen to, say, a Kansas City Royals buff regale you with the exploits of rookie shortstop Mike Aviles is no better than listening to a grandmother go on and on about her little darling's toilet training.

That said, there's one group of "other fans" that stands out in its tediousness. Think Matt and Ben. Think Sweet Caroline. Think Sartre pronounced without the r's.

Yes, we're talking about Boston fans.

Read More

don't you know it's hard?

yesterday, after i invested an extra hour and a half in the game, basically ignoring my wife and child in the process, the cardinals were finally vanquished by a youkilis homer in the bottom of the thirteenth. when the cardinals survived inning opening doubles by the sox in the tenth, eleventh and twelfth, i feared that losing would be a tough blow. however, although i might have uttered an unholy word when youk's ball cleared the centerfield fence, i was able to let go of the game surprisingly quickly and rest in the fact that we won the series and took the sox to the limit.

now that we are almost three full months in, i am ready to admit that this is one of my favorite cardinals teams of all-time. these boys aren't as talented as the brewers, don't have hear the budget of the, admittedly impressive, scrubs and their pitching staff couldn't be worse off if they had spent the first quarter of the season in abu graib instead of extended spring training. yet, these boys have scrapped and clawed their way eleven games over .500 and they are currently sitting in the wildcard catbird seat. much like the yankees of the mid-90s, yet with far, far less talent, these boys have shown they know how to grind.it.out. i think tony la russa, dave duncan and all the rounders such as ludwick, schumaker and molina should all be issued wallets that read - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - if you know what i mean. these guys know the game is hard and they play it hard. if they were pilots, i'd say they were flying "ice cold with no mistakes."

i, on the other hand, am a candy ass who utilizes doubt, cynicism and resignation as a screen to filter the hard realities of life and hold out hope that life is going to become easier. just this weekend i read an interview with tim keller at christianity today, in which he states that Christ followers should not water down the demands and complications of the gospel lest we fail to let people know that "to be a Christian is going be very, very hard." for some reason, that odd little sentence attributed to keller really sliced me open.

to live a prayerful life is hard. to chose to serve instead of seeking to be served is hard. to believe that the poor are the rightful inheritors of the Kingdom is hard. to bind my desires for relevance and influence and lead them up to mount moriah is hard.

so today i'm trying to mind keller's wisdom and follow in the footsteps of aaron miles and my beloved boys of summer. it's far past time to set the user-friendly faith i've been trying to forge aside in order to follow in the hard footsteps of Jesus.

straight truth from a southern baptist mouth

i ran across the following quote by jimmy draper, former president of the southern baptist convention, on the missio dei blog.

“We have reached a place that our spiritual forefathers feared. We need to admit that the problem with America today is not the government or the politicians. It is not Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or John McCain. It’s not the senators or representatives. The problem is not the educational system or the economy. It’s not the liberals or the abortionists. The problem lies with us.

We conservatives claim to have the truth and we think we are rich in spiritual position and power, but yet we are cold, complacent, impotent and unattractive, and irrelevant to the world.

I hate to say it, but we are not plateaued. We’re not even just declining. We’re in a free fall. You know why we don’t win the lost? Because we don’t like them. They are different from us. We don’t care for them. We have no real love for them.

People just don’t touch eternity when they are around us. We’re too self-absorbed.”

i don't know about you, but when i read this my mis-formed jaw about hit the floor. i expect this kind of commentary from the will campbells and agent bs of the world. not from a former sbc president.

ht: missio dei and steve k's google recommendations.

the ebb and flow of God's grace
submitted by: slowfo


You're probably not as heartless as I can be at times. But I've caught myself over the past several weeks not paying much attention to that earthquake over in China. Ya know, the one that killed at least 55,000 and left 80,000 missing. I haven't read one full article about it. Honest. You've probably read all about it and already sent money over to help but I haven't yet. Maybe it's because it's a natural disaster and there's no one to blame.......or because it's just so far away. It is, however, a horror that has left lives and families in tatters.

To put it in perspective, let's imagine the worst - that all 80,000 missing are also dead. That would result in as many deaths as Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. Or let's hit closer to home - that's the equivalent of the Twin Towers bombing occurring in over 38 United States cities all at the same time. Read that again. Thirty-eight Twin Tower bombings. Where was God's grace? Why didn't He rescue these people? Or did He act and keep it from being hundreds of thousands of deaths?

I felt the anger over the Twin Towers incident. I had someone(s) to blame. But I haven't been angry about the earthquake. Should I have been? As our insurance companies would classify it, an earthquake is an act of God. You mean like the Twin Towers was an act of Osama Bin Laden??

I've always grown up with a foundation of gratitude to God for all good things in my life and on earth. To this day, "Thank you" are the first words out of my mouth when I pray. But the tragedies on earth, whether personal or global, lead me to a question I wrestle with at times. If we give God thanks for the good things that happen, do we also blame Him for the bad?

Whoa, wait a minute! God didn't create this world to be bad like it is...man did that part. But, since sin entered the world, if God has occasionally intervened in order to avert disaster in the life of a person, city, country, etc., then there have also been many times when He has chosen not to intervened and has appeared to withhold his grace. And if He didn't act, then why not? It's not because He's too weak to act or is too busy. And in the same way, Jesus didn't heal every single illness or disease when He walked the earth. Of course, Jesus was gracious with His healing but confined somewhat by His humanity.

Grace means receiving the good things we don't deserve. Is God's grace ceaseless and never-ending? Is it as reliable as the rising of the sun each morning? In His mind, yes. I believe it is. In the minds of humanity, not so much.

talking about p

this morning preston was in the best of moods. so why we were sharing a bagel i started plying him with questions.

"does your daddy love you?"
"yeah!"

"do you love thomas?*"
"yeah!!"

"do you love the cardinals?"
"ummmmmmmm..."

the little man best watch his step or we'll be resettling in saint charles before he knows it. much as i respect the homers, i am not raising a red sox fan.


* the train engine. the object of p's first fetish.

confirmation


a couple of weeks ago i found myself sitting by the snack bar of a wal-mart pitching a job shadowing proposal to mr. sampson, the store's elderly and kind community involvement coordinator. as i spoke mr. sampson occasionally took a note with an old fashioned fountain pen and he sometimes parried by sharing stories of teens who have job shadowed in the past.

after i doubled down on my pitch by soliciting mr. sampson's support for a significant grant proposal i had submitted some weeks hence, mr. sampson set down his pen, looked me in the eye and said: "i hope you'll forgive me if i'm speaking out of turn, but it seems to me that you are in ministry." i was a little taken aback by his statement, since i rarely, if ever, have reason or occasion to discuss my faith in the context of a cold call. however, since mr. sampson brought the subject up i confessed to him that i am also a minister at a local church and i consider my work with rectangle to be an expression of my personal commitment to build all things up into the head who is Christ. after outting myself i asked mr. sampson what inspired his observation and he said that he had a son who is a minister in lynn and "i can just tell."

it is just as likely that our conversation was inspired more by coincidence than by the Source. but, in my life anyway, it is often coincidences like this, when combined with faith, that shed the light required to continue upon this way.

mid-day time waster

last week gm reported that due to slumping sales of trucks and suvs it will be shutting 3 assembly plants in the near future. some reports indicate that these plant closures may herald the beginning of the end for the hummer brand.

as we eagerly await the eradication of one of the most striking symbols of conspicuous consumption in this great land of ours, i think we should help gm generate generate some spin concerning the upcoming liquidation of their h2s and h3s. thus, if you could help me complete the following pithy, proleptic press release, i'm sure that the execs at gm would appreciate it.

"today, gm announced plans to disburse its remaining inventory of hummer vehicles by:

a) filling them with sand and strategically placing them on levees throughout the upper midwest."
b) shipping them to sunni sheiks throughout iraq in order to ensure the success of the military surge."
c) sinking them off the coast of new jersey in yet another attempt to create a productive artificial reef."
d) donating them to high schools throughout the country so that they can continue the grand homecoming tradition of smashing a car for charity."
e) your disbursement idea here: "

grrr...

as i settled into the library this morning i promised myself that if i worked really hard i could take a half-hour off to watch hillary's long awaited concession speech that was scheduled for noon e.s.t.

in order to earn my incentive, i worked hard until 11:55 pm, quickly gathered my stuff and mall-walked home...only to sit in front of my computer and stare at an empty podium for 37 minutes.

it's now 12:38 pm and she still has not taken the stage. after experiencing her remarkable ability to delay* the inevitable over the past month i guess i shouldn't be surprised.

so long, loser. you might want to keep a closer eye on those caucuses next time.

* that will probably be financed by obama's contributors.

do unto others...



the kid who pulled this lamentable, yet laughable stunt was planning to walk onto the team at gordon college.* however, on account of this one simple lapse of judgment, coach travis mcclanahan and president lawrence weill and the gordon college staff have decided to keep the kid from his humble, yet heartfelt dream.

i don't mean to be presumptuous, coach and president weill, but don't y'all have better things to do with your time than creating barriers for walk-on athletes? the kid is already going to be paying 10k more a year than an undergrad liberal arts education is worth. i humbly recommend that you return to your administrative duties, have a heart and "LET HIM PLAY! LET HIM PLAY!"

* which, for those of you who don't know, is an evangelical liberal arts school that employs a couple of my friends and is located about 7 minutes from the house.

ht: deadspin

mid-day time waster: edit those lyrics

earlier this week, in the most emphatic tones, mrs. clinton suggested, "i know what people are wondering, WHAT DOES HILLARY WANT?" although i don't know everything hillary might want, i suspect that she would love for us to pen a celebratory ode that marks the end of her campaign.

for that reason, i've been working feverishly to produce a piece that is worthy of hillary's epic defeat. right now i've got some of the lyrics down, but i need your help editing and suggesting revisions. the song's title is bridesmaid and it will be sung to the tune of wilco's muzzle of bees. thanks in advance for your help!

there's a failed democratic candidate
desperate for vp
she's always a bridesmaid
if you know what i mean

her furies shriek, some say they're barking
denver! or at least vp
some fems so frightened
of so-called misogyny

the scepter slips 'tween pantsuit knees
silently and suitably
whispering racial entendre
from the heights of glass ceiling
she cries misogyny

i'm assuming you got the message
produced by machine
the crackers dig her chili
if you know what that means

scepter slips 'tween pantsuit knees
silently and suitably
whispering racial entendre
she cries misogyny

red bill blows through
sweat hand upon knee
half of it's you, half is me
half of it's you, half is me

the poor are our teachers...at least until we pass that class

in the late summer of 2000, when i decided not to extend my time at l'arche so that i could continue with the regularly scheduled programming of seminary, melvin, one of the core members of the community and the undisputed patriarch of the house cornered me with the following question:

why do you have to leave?

after a brief moment of thought i remembered henri's dictum that "the poor are our teachers" and i attempted to build upon this wisdom by simply telling melvin that he had taught me so much about life, persistence and love. although i was indeed moving back to my country to attend graduate school, i promised melvin that i would take his lessons with me and would live a better life in light of his wisdom.

without missing a beat, melvin frowned and said: people are always leaving. and i have so much more to teach!

to that response, i had no retort. i simply told melvin that i would miss him greatly and would visit regularly (which i had the privilege of doing for another 2 years). after that we tromped down to community dinner and i soon set my course for a failed seminary career.

if i could go back and re-do that conversation with an inkling of understanding about life as it has turned out to be, i hope i would have the courage to tell melvin the truth. if i could indeed sack up in such an instance, i would look melvin in the eyes and say something like this:

"melvin, i'm sorry that you are going to miss me, but i can't stay. i have a full life in front of me and i need to validate my existence by trying to scrape together some sort of personal success. i have loved being here melvin, and your friendship means the world to me. however, educated people such as myself don't invest their lives in practical, day-to-day, incarnational acts of one-on-one service to others. instead, we need to increase our influence by empowering younger leaders and playing a more strategic role in ensuring that our shared dreams of community and justice become a reality. melvin, as much as i love greenwood house and as much as i have learned from you, from my perspective there is simply no percentage in remaining at l'arche for the time being. by the way, i've heard sven is making his curry again tonight. let's hurry down to dinner so that we don't miss out!"

as much as i love henri, i know enough about him to realize that while becoming a part of l'arche changed him on a deeply fundamental level he never seemed fully able to identify with the poor in spirit at richmond hill. i have no intention of denigrating henri's service and i know a number of people who were deeply blessed by his ministry at daybreak. however, i also realize that henri was never able to fully set aside his jet-setting, sojourning ways to stay at l'arche for any truly extended period of time. moreover, when difficulty beset his personal life he didn't have to work through all of his issues within the context of the community, but could retreat for up to six months at a time in order to take a personal sabbatical, write or simply visit friends.

as i reflect upon my time at l'arche, my current role within the rectangle community and henri's significant example, i cannot help but worry that my education, ambition and perhaps even my vocation will limit my ability to identify with the poor in spirit and accompany them in a manner that is genuine and not self-serving. i don't want to build a career upon the backs of people with disabilities, but would like to walk beside them, assist them, be assisted by them, advocate for them, and receive the blessing of their advocacy, in a truly mutual way.

i'm not necessarily saying that i will ultimately fail to experience this deep mutuality with those at the center of the community. however, when i reflect upon my participation in the lives of the l'arche as well as the rectangle community up until this point and ponder the path that uncle henri has walked before me, i realize how allusive such mutuality can be.

musing...

on a day crammed into the fourth grade, i offended my friend kari with some opinion or other. back then, much like now, i didn't much care when i offended someone by saying something i sincerely meant. but kari was a loyal, occasionally cute and always eager to please sidekick, so i apologized and tried to make it up to her.

a couple of days later, at one of those tacky school carnivals that are designed to snake money from babes, kari went over to the "jewelry" booth, picked out a lime green foot charm and had the shaky handed merchant engrave "to jeff: the foot in the mouth award," right down the arch. although i was a little shaky on my metaphors at the time, when kari awarded me with the trinket i knew enough to be incredibly embarrassed. with a two dollar shard she cut to my greatest contradiction.

when people read about God's questionable decision to "create man in His own image" i'm sure the story resonates with them in any number of ways. undoubtedly some see this part of the story as a proof text for yet another pro-life pronouncement, others see it as an endowment of rationality, still others consider it the initial spark of our species' creativity. but when i read it, or at least when i've read it lately, i hear in this text a connection between the God who speaks creation into being and my calling to somehow create with the written and spoken word.

some days i believe, sense, suspect that the kol YHWH or breath of God is coursing through me as i encourage a friend, convince a store manager that she can transform a life by offering my client an entry-level job or, in a stammering and stuttering way, attempt to explain to the pixie what her love and partnership means to me. however, on the other days that are most days, i realize that my mouth is a loose canon that has splintered many a foredeck of friend or foe and, far too often, has misfired, malfunctioned and damn near destroyed its operator.

it seems to me that these gifts that we have been given - to create with our words, to shape with our hands, to unravel the infinite mysteries of the cosmos with our minds - are a blessed curse that are more likely to destroy us than they are to inspire our creativity. for this reason, as i ponder the likelihood of becoming a full-time shill for a fragile non-profit and/or an untraceable God, i am terrified. i fear, that at the end of a life invested in such a manner, i will speak more death than life into being and, as a result, will be pinned with a pendant similar in type, if not in gravity, to the one kari awarded so long ago.

and yet, i am determined to stumble forth. for even in the midst of my terror, i have just enough trust in the Spirit and faith in intangible grace, to continue on the path set before me.

additional thoughts concerning confession
starring: yet another providentially displaced pastor





for additional dispatches in tony's emergent church road trip click here.

Truth or Convenience
submitted by: slowfo

The American Church is not really interested in truth as much as they claim. In many respects, the truth is only sought out when it's convenient and comfortable for everyone - making "The Church" just like everyone else in the world. It's safe to talk about truth in Church......just don't start itemizing everything, okay? Because you'll have Betty confessing she told a fib. Conner saying that he speeds too much. But there's always Cliff in the joint who confesses his sexual trysts with octogenarians and it just ruins it for everyone.

Although God sees sin as sin, people definitely don't. But I think it's truthful confession that could really make Church more of the life-changing journey it was meant to be. Confession. No holds barred confession of sin. At least the Catholic Church continues their confession booths with the priests. But what about Protestants? The best we seem to do is "Honestly......it's hard for me to say this.....(voice cracking)...I really struggle with pride sometimes at work." Whoa, that's an earth-shattering revelation! Did one of your employees just hear that? Because "proud" is probably not what they would call you. It would probably be more like "self-centered, stingy, greedy, ego-maniac who just bought himself a $1.5 million house with cash while the rest of the faithful employees live on below-poverty wages."

Those sinned against don't have problems specifically calling out wrong-doing. It's the perpetrators (which includes all of us) that don't want to be held accountable by anyone. And for that matter, who does want their personal grossness aired for the public? But it's a different thing if everyone is candidly sharing the very real sin they've done for the week.

Imagine, what would it be like if people came together and could admit that they need help? Together they sought God and the support of other strugglers. They fully confessed ALL of their sin as a matter of cleansing. Everyone was held accountable to take real steps of healing in their broken relationships. And every week they celebrated the growth they took together. Can you imagine how freeing the Church could become? (sigh).....oh well, I don't see the Church changing that anytime soon. I guess we'll just leave that sort of healing to the 12-step groups, huh?

ablevision goes hollywood



triangle, one of rectangle's cousin organizations, has an excellent media production wing named ablevision. ablevision recently landed a huge interview with kevin james, late of my favorite sit-com the king of queens, and i thought i'd give them a little free publicity.

feel free to check out ablevision's additional clips on youtube.

mid-day time waster

i don't know about you, but when i listen to political rhetoric i find the frequent snapshot stories the politicians make to ordinary people and their concerns quite patronizing. i don't, as of yet, hate these stories quite as much as the personal interest pieces that have ruined the olympics, every major american sporting event and dancing with the stars, but i could do without them nonetheless.

for this reason, today's mid-day time waster assignment is to put your own snapshot story into one of the leading presidential candidate's mouths. feel free to ridicule the pol all you want, but let's keep it relatively clean.*

"Speaking to a re-energized crowd in Huntington, West Virginia, Ms. Clinton spoke to her core constituency by sharing the following story. 'As we celebrate this magnificent victory tonight and recommit ourselves to the goal of winning this nomination, I cannot help but think of Lilly Ann Miller who I met in Clarksburg last week. Lilly Ann is a single mother who served as an administrative assistant at West Virginia Coal Cooperative for twenty years until she was sidelined by type one diabetes and carpal tunnel syndrome. As Lilly Ann and I shared a funnel cake and a Diet Coke she told me that after all her years of hard work she is now uninsured and has no money to pay for the gastrointestinal bypass procedure that will help her lose weight and just might save her life. Under my opponent's health care plan, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, regular folk like Lilly Ann would not have access to the gastrointestinal procedure and might have to attempt to crack back into the college educated workforce in order to ensure the procedure that she so clearly deserves. If you love empowered women like Lilly Ann, like I do, and you are committed to ensuring that every American has the opportunity to access optional medical procedures, please visit my web site HillaryClinton.com. On that site you'll have an opportunity not only to make a donation, but also to join other small-town, life-long Americans who are committed to electing the candidate who will be ready on day one!'"

* this is, after all, a family blog.

for the record

i would be the worst.stay-at-home.mom.ever. it's not that i fail to get anything done when i'm home with a sick preston. rather every time i'm home alone with him i find a way to get nothing done.

there must be a special place in hell for men like me who've made fun of stay-at-home moms over the years. i admit it, on a couple of occasions in the past i have been an ignorant, misogynistic bastard when discussing this issue. i am truly sorry and i humbly repent.

buzz bissinger on blogs

i realize that i'm really late to this story - as well as pretty much every other story that has taken place over the past four weeks - but two weeks ago buzz bissinger, the author of the superb friday night lights, and will leitch, a dedicated cardinal fan and the editor-in-chief of deadspin one of the quirkiest, funniest and most popular sports sites on the net, squared off on costas now.

if you watch the clip* you'll notice that bissinger prefaces the conversation by defaming leitch for defaming athletes and then proceeds to eviscerate, with costas' help, sports blogs for posting pictures of athletes making arses of themselves, providing a forum for commenters to ridicule espn hosts and refusing inside access to press boxes and clubhouses, which are, apparently, the only place that sports writers can ascertain "facts" about athletes and athletic events.**

i think this clip is fascinating not only because of bissinger's ad hominem attacks as well as he and costas' apparent agreement to irrationally conflate blogs such as deadspin with more traditional sports reporting. i am also fascinated by both bissinger's implicit claim that "objectivity" in sports journalism is both possible only with a press pass and buzz's apparent ignorance of, or indifference towards, the fact that many mainstream sports journalists are now utilizing the blogosphere as well.

one more thing: in all of the analysis of this conflict that i've read thus far, no one has pointed out the fact that, for all his high minded arguments and significant writing ability, bissinger is not above writing a puff piece such as three nights in august which was commissioned by his subject and failed to contribute anything about la russa's managerial "genius" that could not be gleaned from one chapter of george will's men at work.

in sum, bissinger appears simply to be a profane, cranky old man bent on fighting irrelevance by shaking his fists at the inevitable. i should also add that although he comes off as a smart-ass know-it-all at times in this clip, i thought leitch fought his way out of this ambush quite well.


* which is not work safe, by any means. for the record: watching a clip in which bob costas utilizes the term "f*ck face," while strangely rewarding, will almost certainly draw the ire of your boss.
** which, in my opinion, many of us, including myself, take waaay to seriously than we should.

The Friendly Ghost and You: An Open Discussion Concerning the Holy Spirit

Slowfo: What if someone told you that there were 2.1 billion people in the world who had the literal ghost of Elvis Presley embedded in their body? Do you think you'd notice? And if you would notice, would it be obvious? Would they dance or sing better than most? Would they say "Thankyouverymuch" as all one word? Would they have a strong attraction to both drugs and doughnuts?

My point is that it doesn't seem to me that people really notice very much that the actual Spirit of the living God of the universe is embedded in the bodies of 2.1 billion Christians around the world. Don't you think Jesus-followers should stand-out a little more? Shouldn't there be a more obvious distinction between someone who has God's Spirit leading them and someone who doesn't? Or does the Holy Ghost really just have a more laid back personality than the Father and Son? Or is this where the more charismatic influence comes into play? I have few answers but many questions on this.

Gentry: Scott, I have more questions than answers in this arena as well. The fact that we grew up in a church tradition that was terrified of the Pentecostal/Charismatic traditions doesn’t help matters much. For my part, I can’t lay all of the blame for my ignorance at the feet of either our forbears or hucksters such as Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar. Since I worship with a number of Pentecostals I should have more of a perspective.

Anyway…I do think that the Holy Spirit should play a more significant role in the life of the Christian community and the individual believer. However, I suspect that far too often Christians, such as myself, have limited the influence of the Holy Spirit by seeking His presence in ecstatic experiences rather than in the midst of service. I know that for a number of years I expected to find the Holy Spirit in the midst of a rousing rendition of Better Is One Day during the True Devotions service at Soybean Bible. Where I didn’t expect to connect with him was in the midst of cleaning a toilet at L’Arche or pounding the pavement between employers whom I was hoping would give my clients an opportunity to work. I’ll give you three guesses where the Holy Spirit seemed to show up…

In the last year or so, I’ve felt the power and presence of the Holy Spirit at work when I have asked him to empower and guide me as I served the interests of others. More and more, I’m beginning to suspect that God is not as interested in worship wherein he is the sole object so much as he is interested in a form of worship in which he can interact and instrumentally empower us as we serve others. Don’t get me wrong, I still think there are good reasons to intentionally honor and praise God for His blessings. However, I think that our ecstatic experiences of God are more likely to occur in the midst of our attempts to actually be a blessing to the world. Maybe God is less interested in us swaying with our hands outstretched, singing and envisioning Him on the throne than he is interested in meeting us along the way as we pursue - with his absolutely essential help! - the mission of His Kingdom in this world.

I don’t have the time to root all of this in scripture at the moment, but I think that this connection between ecstatic experience/empowering connection with the Holy Spirit and mission is evident in the Acts narratives (see chapter 2, 6 and 9).

One more thing: if we’re to liken the Holy Spirit to Elvis, I suspect that his theme song is A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action.

on the next restorer


ht: junkyard

personal metrics

over the past eight years i have:

received 2 speeding tickets and 1 citation* for the destruction** of public property
served in a mega-church, a home church and a non-denominational church
had six girlfriends,*** one wife, one son and two dogs****
moved five times*****
fallen out of infatuation with the dave matthews band
fallen into infatuation with the sopranos, the office, fnl****** and the wire
smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked*******
watched******** six different teams win the world series
had seven different jobs at four different companies
owned or partially owned four vehicles
become an npr supporting member
started a blog
alienated old friends and reconciled with old enemies
married three couples
buried, fortunately, no one*********
swam naked in the seminary pool
attended two conferences
embraced arminian, reformed and idontknowimemergent theologies
baptized********** one close friend
preached 35 pretty awful sermons and 2, 3 or 4 decent ones
been pressed into service as, gulp, a street minister
developed ongoing, life sustaining relationships with the disabled communities in toronto, canada and medford, massachusetts
sustained, and been sustained by, a long-term connection with my spiritual director
obtained*********** a masters in divinity degree from s.h.i.t.

* beat it
** via urine
*** one of whom was dumped in transit
**** one of whom succumbed to sodium pentathol the other to old age
***** and helped j & b move three and, soon to be, a fourth time
****** later retracted
******* see also: drinking
******** but, sadly, only one in person
********* not counting the two dogs
********** and thus, according to the southern baptist friend of my youth, secured my slot in heaven
*********** pending unforeseen objections by the faculty character committee or completely unprovable unfounded charges of plagarism

almost makes me miss home



ht: the sports guy

mid-morning time waster

if you're having a rough day at work or just hate your job in general, stop by mcsweeney's and leaf through their interviews with people who have interesting or unusual jobs feature.

for my part, i found the interviews that discussed the secrets joys of whippets in the pump room, country crock receptacles and the ethical distinctions between band-aids and pasties quite entertaining.

if you're completely satisfied with your chosen profession and ethically abstain from surfing the net at work there is no reason for you to explore this quirky column. i hope that the rest of you read a few and share your reflections below.

file under: inevitability

welcome to gloucester mrs. jesse james.

don't paw at me with your dirty little guild

for many years, the goddard library and the s.h.i.t. campus have stood in my imagination as grave markers that announced the death of my long abandoned academic aspirations and served as an impediment to my developing social conscience and resultant activism.

however, as i grind my last exegesis paper out of my arse and prepare to graduate in absentia on saturday, may 10th, i am obliged to report that, however unexpectedly, i have once again found myself at home within the dusty stacks of the s.h.i.t. library. in the late summer of 2000 i was borne into the library upon the waves of intellectual arrogance and half-formed hopes of joining the theological guild. now, as i leave the library and am washed upon the north shore, i do so as an intellectually humbled, dedicated churchman who is more intimately acquainted with my ignorance than any intellectual subject and whose ambition simply to serve.

i realize and repent of the fact that in years past the library was nothing more than a brick with which i hoped to build my own pathetic little kingdom. as i move forward, i intend to stumble through the bowels of goddard in search of towels with which to serve.

the gathering welcomes: will sampson

hey all, on monday, april 28th at 7 pm will sampson will be stopping by the gathering to discuss how we can pursue justice in the midst of our ordinary lives. this discussion is sure to be engaging, relatively open ended and absolutely free.

this discussion evening is a part of the two dollars a day event that is being co-hosted by boston's emergent cohort and the crossing community in downtown boston.

if you have questions about this event, please feel free to contact me directly at gentry13ATgmail.com. for more info on the two dollars a day event, check out the cohort website.

A True Fan?
Submitted by: Slowfo

I couldn't help but laugh as I read this weekend's story about a Red Sox fan/construction worker who tried to "curse" the new Yankee stadium by burying a David Ortiz jersey in the freshly poured concrete of the new Yankee Stadium. Although as I lifelong Orioles fan I am also a card carrying Yankee hater, I have noticed lately that there seems to be a lot more loud-mouthed Red Sox fans these days than I remember growing up in the eighties. Why? You know why.....bandwagon-jumpers. Love 'em or hate 'em, bandwagon-jumpers are a reality of the sports world. And it begs the question, "Who is a true fan?"

I have to point out that if you're reading this and you've been an avid Red Sox fan for 15+ years, kudos to you. You've seen your team suck and have ridden the low points to now enjoy the victor's spoils. Yankee fan's bravado however is laughable. I don't ever want to hear a Yankee describe themselves as a "true Yankees fan." No such thing. What does that mean anyway? That their fandom has stretched all the way through their century of winning and world championships?? Wow.......impressive. You've really got character Yankee fan. Tell ya what, when you've suffered through ten-plus years of no post-season, then come talk to me. Better yet, since you guys have won so much and to balance things out better, wait until you've not even sniffed a World Series for a century and then we'll talk. Cubs fans have earned my respect for sticking with a team that has shown such ineptitude for so long (or maybe that feeling I've got is pity for their stupidity?).

On the flip side, I hear reports that long-suffering Red Sox fans are arrogantly upset about their own new fans that have cropped up in the last two years causing them to scream, "Where were you back when this team needed you?!" (which is actually not unlike some snooty Christians and their disdain over "Christmas and Easter" church-goers - but that's another story altogether). You Bostonians who read this blog can attest to whether or not these reports are valid.

All of this I present to you, dear reader. What is the definition of a "true fan?" Does it matter how long a person has followed a team whether it be weeks or decades? Should bandwagon-jumpers be held accountable as the sports-following whores that they really are? And lastly, does anyone know a way that we can sneak into the new Yankee Stadium for our own personal desecration of what will be the new Yankee clubhouse?

In Praise of Bureaucracy. An Inside Look at the FAA Inspired Crisis at AA

Editor’s Note: I realize this blog doesn’t usually cover airline affairs. However, I have had a number of conversations about the recent maintenance related groundings at AA, the pix & p had to reroute their trip on account of cancellations and this topic is all over the news. So when a friend of the family who works in a management role at AA recently sent me this harangue concerning the crisis, I thought it’d be interesting to post. I realize that the post does not strive for objectivity and overuses capitalizations and ellipses. But I can vouch for the competency of the source and thought you might like to hear an informed perspective on AA’s recent trials.


“As you may or may not know I work for American Airlines on the MD-80's here in Tulsa. I was directly involved with sending mechanics all around the country trying to make the FAA happy. My own MD-80 in the dock was also up for their inspection and was it a trial and tribulation in hypocrisy. I am now so disillusioned with the FAA. I had always had a somewhat positive attitude for them because of what they have to do. Theirs in undoubtedly a daunting task. But after this last bureaucratic mess I am now convinced their leadership and the inspectors on the airplanes have a fantastic degree in bureaucracy and most likely have never even changed spark plugs in their car let alone know about the silver thing with wings and the round thingies in back that are loud. Yes, there are excellent employees in the FAA and do a great job because they have common sense. Not this leadership group.

You cannot believe the idiocy we had to put up with. THIS WAS NEVER A SAFETY OR FLIGHT issue.....but basically how many tie wraps and washers there were and were they in the correct place. Total stupidity. I would have flown any of them with my granddaughter! As an example, we would get the FAA to sign off on an airplane in Dallas and as soon as it would get to Chicago another FAA inspector would ground the airplane that the job was not correct. This info came from a mechanic from my dock out in the field.....not hearsay. Because they got burned with Southwest they go after AA. They have no one to blame but themselves for not listening to those out in the field. What a crying shame the money lost, jobs in jeopardy, our customers so inconvenienced, the slander they put out or implied (we helped them write the original Airworthiness Directive because they don't know enough about the airplane)...............yet they don't care what overseas maintenance facilities do to our airplanes. These wires are connected to a hydraulic unit that is USED ONLY ON THE GROUND to get pressure for the brakes before engine start....not in the air.

Their priorities are skewed because of the butt chewing they are getting from Congress.............good. If they would ever really work with the airlines instead of trying to see what havoc they can cause maybe they could be a partner. But no, they are the FAA and know it all. BS. They are in it to move up the ladder all the while we lose 10's of millions of dollars, PR problems to last for years, while they sit back in their offices toasting each other on how they got 'American'. Congratulations Southwest Region FAA. Pat yourself on the back. Job well done for a bureaucrat. Good god, you must be so proud.

AA was only one of two airlines that did not go into bankruptcy (Southwest the other) in the last few years. Three airlines went out of business last week and another into bankruptcy Friday. The airline business takes an enormous amount of money to run, to but parts, and all these upstarts don't have a clue what it really takes. So we must be doing something, actually a hell of lot of things correct. The amount of money we spend on our maintenance is nothing short of staggering. Did you know the most junior mechanic can keep a jet form flying if he/she is concerned about an issue? I personally have not allowed a jet to be put into service until some additional items were reconfirmed. We take safety as the #1 PRIORITY. We have so many checks and balances......... Check with the others. Ever since I have been at American I really don't see how we do it. While, you can see by the Wall Street Journal article below the FAA is in for yet another PR debacle when even an outsider can see their never ending faults. I now really wonder, traffic delays, the Hoover law, understaffed control towers, the air traffic control system behind the times..........what really do they do right????? They always want accountability................who is watching those that watch us! Yes, the FAA will put a dandy spin on this. I can hardly wait to see it.

These are my own thoughts and I do not represent AA but there are a bunch of us who are just fit to be tied over this. We take our job VERY seriously. Remember, we and our families, like my granddaughter, fly these birds also.”

musing...

as many of your know, i regularly have the privilege of assisting and accompanying individuals with significant physical and intellectual disabilities as they take their first steps out of high school sped programs and step into the world of competitive employment. i don't claim to be a perfect advocate for my clients, but i pour a lot of myself into my work, i have helped a number of clients achieve better employment outcomes than they would have likely achieved without me and i revel in my client's success. so please keep the former paragraph in mind as you read the following gross generalization.

family is the greatest disability.

over the past year i have worked with a number of parents who through their love, support, chiding and encouragement have empowered their children to transform their limited skills into an effective means of serving their employer, community, family and selves well. however, more often than i would like to admit, i have run into families who have used their adult children as a ssi funded atm card, protected them from the risk that accompanies almost every success and seemingly expected everyone but themselves to guide their children into personal maturity and social responsibility.

now that i've stepped in it, i'd like to affirm that, fortunately, the majority of my client's parents, guardian's and support teams are incredibly supportive. moreover, i didn't pen this post in order to harangue the failures of families who have been dealt a difficult hand.

rather, a i reflect on the often fractured nature of of the families of my clients, colleagues and myself, i cannot help but wonder what the church is doing to help members develop healthy families that can be characterized by such virtues as service, fidelity, fiscal responsibility, integrity and commitment to city, town and neighbor. i don't know about you, but in the churches i grew up in, and not a few of those that i have attended and, yes, helped lead since, we have vigilantly sought to "protect" the family from perceived threats such as homosexuality, evolutionary theory, drugs,* democrats, "welfare queens" and darker skinned aliens** and neighbors. however, in the midst of our defensive posture we have also too often failed to proactively and comprehensively address the internal poisons that plague so many families and, ultimately, produce these catastrophic disabilities that are so.damn.difficult to remedy.

a month or so ago a close friend said that she thought the church should offer classes on curtailing the gossip that so easily entangles our tongues and damages so many lives. i really think she is onto something. shouldn't our faith communities also be offering innovative and integrative education and accompaniment concerning topics such as interpersonal conflict, anger, infidelity, money management,*** sustainable living, substance abuse, employment assistance, child rearing, etc?

as much as i love preaching Scripture and leading people in a roughly expository way through the teachings of the Judeo-Christian faith, i don't think that occasionally preaching through series such as "extreme money makeover!" is going to cut it. instead, i suspect that we're going to have to completely rethink our past educational approaches and create more holistic learning environments if we are going to replace the nasty generalization i typed**** above with a more positive statement such as:

family is the greatest incubator, encourager and sustainer of ability.

please take everything i've said above with a grain of salt. i'm often quick to generalize and i'm also bit of an asshole. i've also spent the past twenty minutes thinking about the horrendous denkinger call that crippled the '85 cardinals and saddled the baseball universe with an undeserving champion. the latter thoughts have left me somewhat less sanguine than usual.

* not hugs.
** side note: we seriously need to reconsider what Scripture has to say about the orientation of our communities to this group.
*** i realize that many churches already tackle this topic head on, and that's great. however, i don't think a community
can provide enough resources in this area.
**** with some measure of fear and trembling.

"Mind His L'il Fontanel"
submitted by: slowfo

Fontanel....that's the best analogy I can think of to describe this part of my Jesus faith (and if you don't recognize the title quote, run, don't walk to your nearest Blockbuster and rent Raising Arizona). It's a soft spot....not very well protected. John the Baptist is my fontanel. I don't get him mostly because JtB is not a Jesus follower. Literally. And logic tells me that he should have been.

Sure, he publicly introduced Jesus as the Messiah who takes away the sin of the world, baptized Jesus (altho' he felt it more appropriate that Jesus should really be doing the baptizing), saw the dove descend and heard the voice of the Father acknowledging Jesus as His son (and shouldn't that have been enough?!?), but JtB didn't follow. He kept doing his own thing. JtB exclaimed that he must become less and Jesus greater, but we don't see anywhere that JtB ever encouraged his own followers to follow Jesus (Andrew voluntarily chose to leave John and follow Jesus). I can actually stomach that later JtB questions whether Jesus really is the Messiah from prison - prison life might make anyone a little delusional.

But if my entire career had been pointing toward one history-defining moment when the true Master would takeover and live, breathe, and speak the words of the one and only God of the universe to humanity, I think I'd probably drop everything and follow Him, wouldn't you? And I'd for sure tell everyone else to follow Him. Geez, the last thing I want to be is Jesus Christ's competitor on the speaking circuit. Getting Jesus a little peeved with me because my show is pulling viewers from His is not my idea of fun.

My only conclusion I've come to is that John was just another voice preaching repentance - but what kind of repentance did he preach after he kicked off Jesus' ministry? Was it repentance through Jesus? If so, then JtB should have naturally at least suggested (let alone maybe he should have been commanding it) that those who repent should follow Jesus. But I don't see that in the Bible. I've got a pretty good foundation to following Jesus myself....I just have this one, vulnerable soft spot.

P.S. My favorite new environmentally-friendly website is http://www.unscrewamerica.org. Check it out. It's kinda fun.

it is appointed

tempest shrieks
anchor's cut
sails raised
and torn

cast about
breathing mouth
jagged rocks
welcoming shore

the worst franchise idea ever: monster mini golf

you've played miniature golf before...

but have you done so in the dark?

surrounded by monsters?

now you can at monster mini golf in creepy danvers massachusetts!

parsing pulpit talk
submitted by: slowfo

So yesterday I found myself leaning back in my theater seat and listening to yet another sermon on solomon and his obsessions with women. The preacher went on and on about how many problems this richest and wisest man in the world had because of his hundreds of wives and sex slaves.......er......"concubines." Hmmm...knocking down the Angelina Jolie's, Scarlett Johansson's and Amanda Peet's (ok, Amanda's kinda my personal hang-up) of his day while sitting in a cedar palace, observing life with the help of limitless wisdom and surrounded by subordinates willing to carry out every command and respond to every whim. Yeah, sounds like he had a tough life.

However, in the midst of such abundance "Solomon's wives got him to worship the same gods they worshipped," the talking head solemnly reminded us. I anticipated what would come next from him (mostly because I've heard it many times before): "Okay gang, we've got a few gods of our own today don't we? We worship the gods of money, power, sex, beauty, etc. don't we?"

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it right there Pastor. I caught that. You just created your own spin on "The Word of the Lord" out of thin air.

Let's be clear on this: temptations aren't gods and gods aren't temptations. Sure they work hand-in-hand but not always. The gods of today are Scientology, Hindu, Wicca, etc. and the temptations are money, sex, and power as they've always been. Let's also include convenience as a tasty temptation for the Church and its pastors. In the name of producing a good practical moral from the story, we stretch, tweak, and spin a biblical text to fit our Sunday morning needs. Count me as guilty. I've done it myself in years past. Good intentions in our ministries don't justify speaking words of God that aren't His words at all; otherwise we create a "false" God ourselves.

Every time a pastor or a member of the church speaks the Word of God in hopes that it will become the Word for Today we must ask ourselves: "With my ministry, am I really reflecting the teaching of God accurately and in accordance with the grammatical/historical context that these books and letters were written in? Or am I interpreting the these texts according to my own lights and shaping the word of scripture so that it coheres with my predetermined theme and so does not challenge the conceptions or either myself or my audience. Have I shaped this text in accordance with my own intentions and so succumbed to temptation of convenience?"