ecclesiological portraits: the gathering


for the past year and a half i've wanted to visit various emerging forms of church in the greater boston area and issue reports on this site. the intent of these ecclesiological portraits would be to explore the diversity of emerging communities in the area and provide a brief introduction of the communities to interested parties. eventually, i would like to visit communities such as seven mile road in malden, mosaic boston, the crossing, and reunion christian church in boston, quincy street missional church in quincy, a few of the neo-monastic communities, the sunday evening service at international community church and other communities* that i am currently ignorant of but will hopefully, eventually explore.

anyway, since this is my first, and perhaps only, ecclesiological portrait, i thought i would start with the gathering in salem, my family's church home.**

6:05 - people are starting to assemble, grab a cup of tea and catch up with one another. a few of these individuals such as - aaron s., erin, pastor phil and pastor phil part deux, kieren, carlos and elizabeth - are bloggers or have some other form of web presence. feel free to check their sites out.

6:20 - it's 6:20 and a bakers dozen of us have joined for the evening service. pastor phil has lowered the lights, a multitude of candles are lit and phil is strumming his guitar and introducing us to the text and topic we will be exploring together this evening.

6:24 - after a long introduction pastor phil encourages us to read together the gathering's declaration of simple faith, a statement which not only expresses some of our community's convictions, but reminds us of the gentle and open manner in which we hope to treat one another. text of a declaration of simple faith.

i will follow the simple ways of Jesus
i will try to be: open and accepting, simple and genuine, honest and caring
i will try not to be: judgmental and exclusive, complicated or disingenuous, secretive
or self-serving
i will listen, i will learn
i will remember that God's gentleness makes us great

6:41 - we are currently in the midst of a rather long worship set that is populated with wow worship standards such as arms of love and more love, more power*** as well as a few songs such as as a memorial that were written by pastor phil or other members of our community.

6:44 - we're currently in a series in which we are exploring the gift of the Holy Spirit. this series has included sermons on miracles from john 4, an unabashedly evangelical and fiery sermon on acts 1:1-10**** and tonight is leading us to consider the healing words of Jesus beside the pool of bethsaida in john 5. pastor phil just ended a period of silence, which was awkwardly punctuated by the clicking of my keys, by talking about the Spirit of God as ruah, or the breath of God, and asking the participants what associations this understanding of the Spirit provoked in the hearers. brother michael, the sole pentecostal, eastern orthodox monk among us, reported that the breath of God within him makes him want to never hear again. two others also offered reflections, but i couldn't hear them in the silence of this room, over the clicking of my keys.

6:52 - just realized my font is jacked. happy, happy, joy, joy!

6:55 - in the midst of my pissed offness, kieran offered a reading from uh, somewhere, and brother michael offered a reading from psalm 119:105.

6:58 - people are sharing their frustration, bewilderment and surprise at the difficulty of their spiritual journeys. one participant states that she expected that her walk with God would be like traversing a beautiful bridge while holding hands with a god who was showering her with flowers. fortunately, she said that God is still with her, but the bridge is rickety and the flowers, non-existent.*****

7:05 - pastor phil begins his discussion of Jesus at bethsaida by mentioning that the healing waters of the pool remind him of the stories he has heard of the shrine at lourdes. apparently the rcc has only documented 65 confirmed healings at lourdes, but that has not stopped 4 - 5 million annual visitors from going to lourdes to seek healing. after this brief introduction, phil reads the text.

open question: what is it that inspires people to wait upon God?

responses: the people are hungry

what i hear in this text is a great amount of trauma and struggle. i am a trauma survior...what i see here is how grief can immobilize you and how tears can release you and set you free to experience life. it is really miraculous when we have the courage to look inside and be human no matter what.

pastor phil: there are many of us who have experienced a clear, dynamic movement of God which has brought us to a place of experiencing His presence.

i just kept focusing on the stirring of the waters of bethsaida. then i thought of the apostle paul who told us to stir up the gifts of God that are within us. it's like sugar that sits at the bottom of a cup of coffee. your coffee won't be sweet unto the taste until you stir it up.

you've got to listen to the still voice. the voice will not argue with you, you have to chose to listen and once you listen you need to follow. it takes practice and experimentation.

7:20 - pastor phil: i want everyone to take a moment and share one word that right now expresses the attribute or characteristic that you think the Lord is looking for in your heart in regards to this specific issue of waiting on Him. what characteristic do you think God is looking for most?

love; stings;****** genuineness; marriage; desert; watchfulness; understanding; communion.

pastor phil: why desert?

me: because God is calling me into the desert. lately i've felt a fear of the silence and, in my heart, a fear of silence is a fear of God.

pastor phil: patience came up twice. why? we'll wait patiently.

participant: because it is a struggle.
participant: because our world moves so quickly.

7:31 - i would like to take a quick commercial break to introduce you to cade's new pageant production gig. i've heard that something needs to revive the miss america pageant and i'm (desperately) hoping that this is that something.

7:36 - i'm quickly losing interest in the free form discussion, but i am apparently the only one in the room who's wrestling with this malady. people are truly engaged in the back and forth.

phil: in the back and forth i see a beautiful kalediscope of emotion, experience and pursuit of the path that we have. i tend to view the path we've been given as tailor made. God has not stamped out a path that all of us have to do just right to discover Him. we know simple things, such as out of john 17 - this is life that they know me, the one whom you have sent - but along our path we will be challenged by unique elements. in a particular season one of us might hear and need, hope, another commitment, another boldness...

7:44 - participant: i was really hoping we could sing more love, more power. i love that song.

phil: i was going to sing that. let's close with that.

7:51 - still singing more love, more power. must be the extremely extended edition.*******

7:54 - announcements. there's a small group, women's group, open discussion group and movie night coming this week.


---
* to wit: if anyone knows of a synagogue 3000 related community that is currently meeting in the area, please let me know.
** in the interests of full-disclosure, i should also note that i serve on the gathering's pastoral staff.
*** but, fortunately not Lord i lift your name on high or as the deer.
**** i'm glad that one isn't available on the internet. i still believe almost every word i said, but even i can't grasp the implications of some of the things i said. i am simply not ready to wrestle with some of those matters over the internet.
***** while i sit here thinking that her ideal god must look a lot like mike myers in love guru. .
****** it also hurts.
******* it's also quite contemplative, beautiful and capped off with a celtic benediction known as God's aid.

read and recommended


stuff white people like is the kind of stuff that gentry likes. holy crap this site is funny. if only i had thought of it first.

much like my white* friends, I have a particular penchant for coffee, public radio, wes anderson movies and arrested development. what kind of stuff do you love whitey?

* assuming i am white. on account of my adoption, i like to think of myself as an ethnic free-agent. however, most of my friends and family think of me otherwise.

happy haiku friday

contrail curving sky
streams of snow melt rushing by
affordable fun

overheard mccain's apologia*

After comparing Mr. Limbaugh to a "circus clown," the Arizona Republican apologized. "I regret that statement," he told an interviewer on Fox News the other night, "because my office has been flooded with angry phone calls from circus clowns all over America. They resent that comparison, and so I would like to extend my apologies to Bozo, Chuckles and Krusty."


* i was introduced to the quote here an you can find the original citation there. i wish mccain would have had the balls to offer a similar criticism when he was here.

musing...

this afternoon, after observing one of my clients struggle through his/her first day of sacking groceries, i walked over to the manager and asked him "what do you think, sink or swim?"

"we'll see," he deadpanned. "we might have to break out the floaties."

as i walked out to the parking lot i realized that mr. sampson is one funny guy and water wings aren't a half-bad metaphor for the grace of God.

capsule reviews

i just finished watching the darjeeling limited for the second time this weekend and i must say that i am enchanted. on the first view, i was touched by the multiple perspectives it offered on mourning and challenged to let go of my own baggage, which is of similar origin but different design. on the second view, i was caught up in the brothers' quest and found myself wishing that they could have found resources and guides for their journey within the judeo-christian tradition. i suspect that the context for the single scene of christian devotion in the film is meant to suggest that our spiritual journeys always require a break from our past. if that is what anderson is suggesting i cannot help but agree with him and yet hope that our journeys eventually lead us back where we belong.

the pix and i also watched affleck's adaptation of gone baby gone last night. i thought the film was beautifully shot,* well acted and one of the most haunting reflections on christian ethics that i have experienced in some time. instead of making students suffer through evangelical ethics** at s.h.i.t., i would like to propose that they simply show this film, the lives of others, the mission and talledega nights and have a no holds barred discussion afterwards.

i don't know why i haven't mentioned it, but i think that the brief life of oscar wao by junot diaz was one of the finest works of fiction published in 2007. although i enjoyed the book on the first read, i wasn't enamored with it. it was not until i had the time to reflect on the displaced, tragic life of oscar while immersed in the latino culture of chelsea that i realized that diaz's book has encouraged a love for latino culture and the spanish language that i somehow failed to learn from both beisbol or an old, good friend.****

* for the record, boston isn't quite that beautiful, but we wish it was.
** where every essay on every test is measured by only one metric: the number of bible verses cited.
*** mitt romney's statement that he did not know that the lawn service that he hired from chelsea was staffed by undocumented immigrants was one of the most egregious lies of the primary season. anyone who has ever been to chelsea, which brushes right up against downtown boston, knows that every business in the area is staffed by a united nations crew.
**** i hope that she accepts my apologies. i understand that my obtuseness is no less offensive for being unintentional. thank you for trying to introduce me to these mysteries long ago.

musing...

man i feel really evangelical lately. as i mentioned to a friend this afternoon, most of my thoughts over the past week have been about evangelism, preaching and the mission of the church. i haven't yet reached the point where i feel comfortable trudging the unimaginative halls of s.h.i.t., but i'm becoming a bit worried. i intentionally left bible college jeff's wedged under a radiator on the second floor of the jessie eury library. i don't know about you, but i'd feel a lot better if his crusty ass would stay there.

anyway, like it or not, Jesus jeff is back and here's what he's thinking: most of my investments in mission are really self-centered.

two weeks ago, while the pix was lovingly preparing our tax documents, we realized that we have more money to give to the mission of God and we started rethinking our redistribution.* when we looked at our current balance sheet i realized that a) we give money to reconciliation focused ministries in foreign lands and b) almost all of the money we give to such ministries directly supports our friends** and only derivatively impacts the lives of the people they serve.

so, since we have a few extra bucks we are going to start investing directly in the lives of people in the middle east through kiva. as i've recently mentioned elsewhere, i think that westerners have done a fine job of extracting natural and human resources from the middle east over the past twenty years and now is the time for us to reinvest.

< sermon > so when the free money from the government shows up in your mailbox in a couple of weeks, consider joining us in setting aside a portion of it for redistribution. i'm sure that there are legions of small business people throughout the developing world who can turn our short money into significant dividends. moreover, i'm sure there will be plenty of others who plow their whole refund into stimulating our stumbling, bush-plagued consumer economy. < /sermon >

* oh, john perkins, i loves those 3rs! i'm all about relocation, redistribution and reconciliation as long as those needy folks don't get all up into my shit.
** whose needs have not fallen of our radar and will not be neglected on our watch. the Lord knows how much kansas city needs Jesus and so.do.we.

happy haiku friday

sweep aside the snow
click on your sony hd
pigeons with clay feet

corraborating evidence

in regards to the preacher who pisseth standing up: earlier today a friend forwarded this pic of a warning sign that he encountered in the bathroom of an acquaintance's home in germany. consider this yet another piece of evidence that one of the most ridiculous sermons of all-time was inspired by a real-life experience.

i also discussed the pros and cons of pissing upright with the pixie this morning* and am still convinced that men should never surrender their birthright on account of a little extra cleaning. as for me and my son, we shall pisseth standing up!

*whoa, that sentence could be misconstrued. get your mind out of the gutter!

tell me your deep dark secret and i will tell you mine

thus far this lenten season has not been so much about my minimal expressions of discipline, but rather about how God is disciplining and discipling me.

to wit, last week my friend dave forwarded me a link of a recent sermon by mark driscoll in which driscoll briefly discusses his early connections with the conversation and then offers a lengthy discussion of how he thinks many in the conversation, especially mclaren, pagitt and bell,* have gone astray from the conversation's initial focus on speaking a contextualized gospel into a rapidly changing culture.

as soon as the link appeared in my inbox, i knew that i would take issue with a number of driscoll's accusations** and i was hesitant to listen to the sermon at all. but after the remnants of our thursday night bible study clustered around my laptop and listened to the sermon later in the week, i must admit that i was convicted by a couple of things that driscoll said.

specifically, driscoll said that when God inspired scripture he did not intend for it to be an object of conversation but a call for obedience. moreover, later in the sermon, driscoll declared that the dirty little secret of the "revisionists"*** is that while they do indeed have conversations they don't have many conversions.

if the first assertion is meant as an absolute statement, i have to take umbrage with it for i think that in its primal, oral form the scriptures were intended to be spread, mused upon, applied, debated, praised and questioned in the midst of conversations. however, in a more personal sense, i cannot deny that when i read Jesus' command to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" i realize that the Jesus is not asking me for a learned discourse on the ancient perspectives on love so much as he is compelling me to embrace his way of life by being good news in this busted up world. i don't think that God is offended or afraid of with our conversations about the meaning of biblical texts or the proper way to apply these texts in our contemporary settings. however, i suspect that Christ is more fully revealed in my obedience to the clear theological, ethical and moral teachings of scripture than he is by my rambling discourse. for this reason, and in this rather limited sense, i think that driscoll's assertion is worth heeding and, if followed, will benefit my community, family and soul.

however, it is driscoll's revelation of emergent's dirty little secret**** that has really gotten under my skin where it first festered like a ring-worm but now is spidering like vein that is threatening new life. i am so hesitant to say anything about the "e-word" in this space, since, like so many angsty evangelicals i have serious issues with the way evangelism has been taught, practiced, imposed and idolized in my tradition. however, i also realize that, as buechner has often said, "the only writing worth reading is that which is written in blood," so i guess i'll get out with it. i realize that the liberating, revolutionary message of Christ is meant to be shared and irecognize that illustrating, incarnating and, yes, ultimately inviting others to model the life of Jesus is at the heart of Christian mission and message. yet, in the past five or so years i have so often been afraid of being labeled a proselytizer or of sacrificing friendships in the pursuit of evangelism that i have too often failed to desire, pray for and invite people to more fully participate in the remarkable beauty, truth and goodness of life in Christ.

as a follower of Jesus i realize that it is an irreducible part of my community's mission to participate in the task of evangelism.***** yet, though i have talked about this component of the community's mission ad nauseam, i have not fully invested myself in this task in far too long..

so that's my confession for tonight. i hope you can take it as it comes and, especially if you are a friend who has chosen not to follow Christ, still find a way to trust that i am not going to violate our friendship by trying to actively impose my beliefs upon you or, hopefully, doing great violence to our friendship in any other way.

i swore this post was going to be a paragraph long and realize that i've probably said too much.


* the latter of whom has never openly identified himself with the discussion, rendering the charge rather specious.
** and, unsurprisingly, i did. i would find it hard to denounce mclaren simply on account of the theological diversity of his literary recommendations and his reticence to take part in evangelicalism's new single issue game by publicly explaining his perspectives on homosexuality and christianity, but apparently driscoll does not. does not.
*** in an oft referenced article ed stetzer attempted to define the emergent conversation by identifying three distinct streams within the conversation. according to stetzer the conversants includ the relevants (think dan kimball here), revisionists (think mclaren there) and reconstructionists (think david garrison, church planting movement leaders here). in the talk, driscoll openly utilizes stetzer's categorizations but exchanges a "relevant reformed" group, of which he counts himself a part, for the "reconstructionists." i think such an exchange makes sense when one is discussing the emerging conversation in america, but it probably would not make as much sense if one were including the worldwide church in the conversation.
**** which does not apply to emergent communities such as jacob's well in kc, mars hill in grand rapids and cedar ridge in maryland but clearly does apply to many, many more emergent communities than we would like to admit.
***** there, i said it.

in defense of bible college, seminary and reading the kjv



* props to rod dreher for the fantastic link.

daddy day care

this live blog is brought to you by a demanding mother. i'm not saying exactly which mother that is, but rest assured it is one who holds certain keys to the kingdom of the writer.

anyway, people in massachsetts, as noted previously, people in massachusetts are remarkably delusional about snow. for this reason, i am home with little p and he is in the process of destroying the house. those of you who know him need little proof of the latter assertion, those who don't can look at the picture below.



while preston is in the process of destroying the kitchen, daddy takes a moment to tackle another task. namely, cleaning diapers. daddy returns to find baby playing amidst the cleaning chemicals, but instead of redirecting baby, he resets the family wireless router so that he can post this violently compelled piece.



















,
daddy can't find a way to post to the left of the two latter pictures. that pisses daddy off.

in the brief moments that daddy has not been working, spending time with family, studying for his final seminary class and serving up the scraps to the church, he's been celebrating lent. in the midst of this important season of preparation for the resurrection, daddy has been repenting of his recent passion for speaking like rickey henderson and practicing little spiritual disciplines such as reading a devotional and participating in abbreviated prayer and fasting. daddy hopes that the Father is as pleased with these tiny offerings of devotion as the Son was with the widows mite.

while reading the bread and wine devotional during lent, he ran across the following quote:

"...Jesus was not brought down by atheism and anarchy. He was brought down by law and order allied with religion, which is always a deadly mix. Beware of those who claim to know the mind of God and who are prepared to use force, if necessary, to make others conform. Beware of those who cannot tell God's will from their own." ~ Barbara Brown Taylor in Truth to Tell

daddy thinks about how the previous quote throws bright light on so many christians from martin luther on, but baby is pissed about being ignored and daddy cannot finish his reflection.

daddy and preston make their way out to the library where daddy plans to renew his lease on the book of buechner - which is fantastic - and hopes to pick up season one, disc one of battlestar gallactica. daddy knows that the later series sounds like a geek's wet dream,* but he can't watch FNL anymore, does not have ready access to the fifth season of the wire and needs something new to watch while he irons.



when daddy and preston get to the library it is, quite predictably, closed. daddy thinks most librarians are weak sauce,** quick to skip and eager to bitch. on account of the proceeding factors, daddy shakes his fist in anger. since he can't pick up battlestar daddy calls uncle cade to see if he will loan out his netflix copy of michael clayton. uncle cade agrees and little p and daddy head down pond street.




on the way we check in on the pigeon man's "rollers." daddy is relieved that at least one local species adapts to snow quite easily.







little p and daddy arrive at uncle cade's only to find him in standard repose. note to aunt becky: uncle cade and bella are fairing quite well.*** daddy tells uncle cade that there will be spaghetti at the gentry house tonight, picks up the dvd and leaves.





on the way home little p decides to play in the street. he seems to enjoy himself...







until the plow pushes by.









after shaking off the snow and removing gear daddy plies preston with juice, a relatively rare treat, because daddy might feel guilty about kicking snow in preston's face and is eager to end this narcissistic picture post.






meanwhile, as daddy is exchanging quality time with his son in hopes of completing the post, preston crawls into the bathroom and has a little too much fun with the shit sprayer.






FINALLY daddy snaps this last shot,**** wonders whether he will ever slap up a post that is wholly devoid of sexual humor and we eagerly await mommy's impending return.

thank you for putting up with us.




* and by wet he means snow. get your head out of the gutter and get with this post's overarching theme.
** excepting librarians who are related to, friends with or attend church alongside of daddy. librarians who tee it up like that are probably pretty ok too.
*** though rumor has it that there is no longer ice cream in aunt becky's freezer.
**** note the rally cap. something tells me we're going sporting that look more often than not this season.

overheard: a plea for the revitalization of evangelical ethics*

reporter: andy, anyone who follows you and knows you realizes that you are a man of faith. can you talk about how your faith influenced your decision to use HGH and maybe how your faith has sustained you during this hard time?

pettitte: i felt like it was the right thing to do in my heart. that might be hard for some to understand...as far as my faith, i felt good about it when i started. but then i felt bad once i started it...as far as how my faith has sustained me through all this, i know in my heart why i did things. i've tried to live my life in a certain way and i know i'll have to stand before God some day.

reporter: andy, can you tell us how you felt using it a second time? you've explained how bad it made you feel the first time, so why did you take it a second?

pettitte: i felt stupid, and desperate.

* please note: the text above is a summary and should not be read as an exact quote. i tried to correctly record the question and response while the press conference was taking place. i apologize for any errors.

overheard: welcome to heritage u.s.a. II!

i just clicked over to stltoday.com to check in on the happenings in jupiter and was blessed to see that brother jim bakker is celebrating the dedication of heritage u.s.a. II! brother bakker has long since repented of his embrace of the prosperity gospel, but fortunately god has still seen fit to provide him with another sprawling ministry center which not only features affordable, god-breathed real estate, a beautiful enclosed shopping center that features "italianate store facades and condo balconies" and a magnificent chapel from which the word of god will be gloriously transmitted six times a week!

anybody interested in splitting a heritage u.s.a. II lifetime partnership with me? i've heard that for only $1,000.00 we can stay at one of the new italian style condos for up to four weeks a year!

seriously, i hope if/when the sulfur o' sodom falls, heritage u.s.a. II is ground zero. this wonderful new work of god makes me sick to my stomach and ashamed to be an evangelical christian. read some of the testimonies in stltoday's article of the former "lifetime partners" who lost $1,000.00 in forfeited "lifetime partnership" dues when heritage I collapsed, yet are all fired up and eager to invest in bakker's new work. i suppose one will never go broke underestimating the intelligence of bible belt christians. grrr...

on writer's block

blood from a stone
needle on bone
accessible yet so damn allusive

advocate, proclaim and preach
of things only abstractions can reach
mistake scribbles for substance

envy engineers, architects and tailors
who rely not upon words as savior
trading substance for sustenance

words, words, words
flimsy constructions
pointing to hope, promising destruction

musing...

throughout the lenten season i have not been able to escape images of the desert. throughout the past week, on inumerable occasions, my mind's eye has fixed upon mental pictures of the sand swept desert, Jesus wrestling with temptations, the ravaged red rock of sinai.

but, for all my musing, when the time came to enter into my own desert, i almost missed it.

on monday i was jostled out of my normal routine by a scheduled, yet completely forgotten, job coaching session at a you haul storage facility. the assignment was to simply to observe a client's work and report on her activities to the supervising manager.

yet, as i stumbled around in that unheated storage facility, interupted only by the scratch of a broom and the need to take an occasional note, my anxious breathing slowed, my feet froze and i was confronted by the silence i often take great pains to eschew.

in that silence, in the midst of my lenten fast, one of my temptations was revealed. namely, i am constantly tempted to ignore the service opportunities that constantly present themselves in order to fixate on the ideal context and perfect position wherein i can properly perform the accompanying, teaching and preaching that is at the heart of my calling. God forgive me for the times when my idolatrous dreams of being a resident theologian and preacher-teacher in a church obscures both the work and the people you have placed in my path.

if you are participating in a lenten fast and have wrestled with your own temptations in the midst, feel free to share your reflections below. for those of us who are fasting during this season, my prayer is that we can sustain the fast so that we can more fully keep the feast.

in celebration of pitchers and catchers...


i'd like to confess that i am currently sitting on a brick of 23 bleacher seats for the cardinals/cubs tilt on sunday, may 4th at 7:05 p.m.

so...if you have recently received a st. louis oriented "save the date," will solmenly swear to respect the game by refusing to bat beachballs/participate in the wave/display poor cell phone etiquette and you're willing to forward me $25 cash, submit your name for consideration..

judge not, lest ye...

she crushed the pop-top of a chevy conversion van in 1986

he never let her forget about it.

she continued to tangle with immobile objects in the years since.

he scoffed and suggested an assault on a moving target.

he tried to cram an 8"8 wheelchair van under a 7"6 clearance sign.

she has yet to hear the story.

he has finally realized that reciprocity is a son-of-a-bitch.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: the lost transcripts

chuck smith, c.s.s.: thank you for calling lightway, how can i serve you?

customer: i recently bought 45 copies of the purpose driven life for a fundraising event at my church and i'd like to return the unsold copies.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: i'm sorry ma'am, we don't accept returns that result from poor sales. we'd suggest selling the remaindered copies at a steep discount or distributing the copies to the homeless community in your area. lord knows the latter group could use a little purpose.

customer: but we sold these copies in order to support a short-term mission trip to the dominican republic. if have to eat the cost of these copies the money will come straight out of our mission budget. can't you make an exception in this case.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: sorry ma'am. our return policy is as immutable as the easily discernible election of God. allow me to commend you, however, for spending a few days of your summer serving the under-evangelized people of the dominican. i've heard that there are still a few barrios on the island that haven't had an opportunity to experience the veggietown vbs or be touched by a pantomimed re-enactment of the passion of Christ this year. thank you for doing your part.

customers thank you for supporting our mission. can we continue discussing the matter at hand?

chuck smith, c.s.s.: no need to do that ma'am. what is written is written. did your team spend your tourist days exploring haiti? last time i visited the cafes of port-au-prince, i was overwhelmed by the quality of service and incredibly low prices. say what you want about poverty, but it sure produces an affordable fine dining experience!
customer: chuck, i'm tired of you giving me the run-around and denigrating the significant sacrifices our team made to share the gospel. let me speak to your manager.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: my manager is going to give you the same story about the returns, but if it's caesar you want... please hold one moment.

hold music: "when i think about my God. i don't have to think about her bod. she might not have hindquarters of glory, but she calls out the name and she knows the story! when i think about..."

chuck smith, c.s.s.: cough, cough. this is mr. manager, how can i help you?

customer: mr. manager?

chuck smith, c.s.s.: yes, i mean, this is michael, customer service manager. how can i help you?

customer: thank you for taking my call. i would like to return 45 copies of the purpose driven life that our mission team has left over from last summer's fund-raiser.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: i'm sorry ma'am. we don't accept returns of remaindered copies, but just for calling us today we'd like to offer you free primary shipping on your next purchase of $35 or more. in addition, i'd like to take a minute to tell you just a little about our thursday morning specials. right now we have michael savages' new expose of the obama candidacy, wahhabi in the white house for just $7.99 and john eldredges' eager heart: positioning your wife for passionate rescue for just $5.49. which of these specials interests you today?

customer: no, i'm not interested in any specials and i can't believe your ridiculous return policy. i'm sure that amazon would allow me to return with no questions asked.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: well ma'am, if you want to do business with the money changers of the world, we're not going to stop you.

customer: this is the last time i will be purchasing from you.

chuck smith, c.s.s.: thank you for shopping in the light! we'll be sure to forward you the coupon for the free shipping and will look forward to serving you again soon.

overheard: evangelicals a liberal can love


in this morning's online edition of the nyt, op-ed columnist nicholas kristof calls for bleeding heart liberals to reach out and "build a common cause with bleeding heart conservatives." throughout the short piece kristof introduces the readers to the exponential influence evangelicals such as rick warren are having on global poverty initiatives and celebrates - along with so many of us - the long belated death of the religious right.

much like kristof, i am excited by the recent sea change in evangelical priorities and have been both encouraged and challenged by the great work organizations such as saddleback church and the international justice mission are doing throughout the world. however, as a churchman, i cannot help but fear that the leadership in many evangelical churches will utilize the current interest in social justice as merely a means to catalyze "growth" in their attraction oriented churches. if our churches passionately sound forth Christ's call for justice and liberation (see Lk. 4:16-21) but fail to challenge our congregants to realign their economic, social and spiritual lives so that they can act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with their God, then our sermons and lessons will simply be a sophisticated example of oratory intended to tickle our people's ears.

by God's grace, because of Christ and through the power of the Holy Spirit, may the evangelical church not only lift up the call for justice, but live as a people of justice in a profoundly unjust world.

read more of kristof's article here