Sunday, February 24, 2008

in defense of bible college, seminary and reading the kjv

* props to rod dreher for the fantastic link.


g13 said...

by the way, this guy is for real.

Eric said...

Time for some thunderstealing. Josh Brown pointed me to this video, and said that on the blog he saw it on, the author confessed he pee'd sitting down. So all these people started coming out stating they too pee'd sitting down. Here is one comment that was left in response...

"I don’t understand you guys (possibly women) at all. I only pee against walls.

It’s been difficult to maintain 100% purity in my wall-peeing habits. Often, while I’m lifting weights and smoking cigars, I find that there’s a toilet nearby but no walls in sight. It’s times like these that I just have to man-up and pee on the nearest wall no matter who’s watching. Because I’m not here to please people - I’m here to please God.

Sometimes, like when I’m chasing deer through the woods with a knife between my teeth, I’m surrounded by Manly-Jehova’s beautiful nature but there are no walls around. When I find myself far enough outside civilization like this I just hold it. I hold my pee until I return (with a freshly killed deer) to some place with walls. If Jesus could fast for 40 days then we, as men, ought to be able to hold our pee for 40 days as well.

A few months ago I was in a rodeo and, having broken six ribs and both my feet, I was left sprawling in the middle of the rodeo circle and I didn’t have the strength to crawl to a wall. So I built a wall right there with my bare hands. And I peed on it.

I should point out that the ruggedest men prefer gray concrete walls with pieces of steel jutting out while the more effeminate wall-pissers prefer stucco or anything with a pattern.

I can only pray to my Cage-Fighting Jesus that all of you men learn to be as holy. And, of course, he’ll answer my prayer because I fulfill a culturally accepted gender role."

(link to post)

g13 said...

congratulations eric. you definitely stole my thunder by providing a comment that is far more bizarre than the video itself.

and they said it couldn't be done.

james said...

Crazy. first watch - thought this was totally fake. Second watch, and after seeing the church's website - eerily for real.

So how is it one goes from simple "being saved" to this? Perhaps this is a question for "Ask Cade" or even Chuck Smith C.S.S.

g13 said...

james, after hearing your initial doubts i began to wonder if i had been duped. so i clicked over to the church's website, looked up their contact information, dialed the number listed and was surprised when the pastor's wife picked up the phone and answered by name.

sometimes i wonder why i am so attracted to these grotesque expressions of christianity. ugh.

Anonymous said...

What a coincidence...Jeff, isn't there a law in West Virginia: "Ticketed is the man who pisseth against an abandoned barn"?

Can you crack an egg of knowledge on this?

I've got $5 that says this dude's German wife is more of a man than he is.

Talking about piss way too much...I'm thinking he's into R. Kelly (for you Chappelle's Show fans).

Kevin Smith Clark

g13 said...

kevin smith clark, come to think of it, there is a ticket in west virginia that reads "ticketeth is the man who pisseth against an abandoned barn."

unfortunately, the barney fife who tried to impress that law upon me was routed by an unknown corollary, "busteth are the testicles of the guard who imposeth such laws upon the brown eyed bastards of lawlessness."

thanks for bringing back good memories old friend. now that i think about it, that experience renewed my commitment to the foulest of words. what a meaningful rite of passage.

one more thing lunchbox, where is my content?