Wednesday, July 19, 2006

shit that has been making me laugh

today i made my morning pilgrimage to only to find out that the seattle supersonics may be moving to oklahoma city. i think this move would work out extremely well for the supersonics* and am waiting to hear about microsoft’s impending move to Wichita.

last thursday after work I stumbled out of the elevator, walked through the frosted double doors of the cummings center and almost bumped into a six year old kid subsequently whipped out his dick and began mindlessly pissing on a public sidewalk. his dad immediately reprimanded the child by reminding him that “you can’t just pee wherever you want to”** and i laughed most of the way home as i remembered all of the times i’ve pissed in public places and dealt with the unintended consequences that followed.***

i’ve also been laughing for some years now, about the smart-ass ways people re-appropriate evangelical worship songs. my current favorite evangelical covers include, “hail, hail, i love buddha” and “i want to sleep with your wife as you sleep with your wife” by james’ camp friend as well as “shine jehoshua, shine” by a certain brazilian community that insists on reclaiming the original names of our heroes of faith.****

*right up until the NBA players realize that the beating heart of oklahoma city nightlife is a six block strip of chain restaurants called bricktown and the owner's daughter's start to work for the family business (i want to be more specific here, but feel constrained).

**sidenote: if the pixie and i have boys, they will never use mealy mouthed terms like “pee” or “poop,” but will utilize more manly terms like “piss” and “shit.” if we have girls, all bets are off.

***i especially thought about the time i was charged with “destruction of property” for pissing on the side of a little used west virginia highway. this story probably deserves it’s own post, so i won’t elucidate any further except to say that i beat the misdemeanor with a subsequent request for a jury trial and in the minutes after my brush with the law i manically repeated lines from a certain scene in the usual suspects and so reacquainted myself with the wonderful utility of “the f-word” (sorry dad).

****i will allow the person who told me about this cover to remain blissfully anonymous.


g13 said...

i must admit that my love of ee-vangelical musical parody was enflamed by the junkyard lover's most recent post. "i am god's guitar (pluck me)" just about killed me.

james said...

shit that has been making me laugh also:

Gentry's recent love affair with the asterisk, as demonstrated by 6 of his last 10 posts, all of which in question use upwards of three to five per post.

In my estimation, the number of asterisks is slowly closing in on the repeat appearances of Frances McDormand in Gentry's commonspeak.

...the new love affair revealed.

g13 said...

new love affair my ass!

i've been digging her chili for years.

Before Girl said...

What a little monster. And I think I mean the father, first, then the kid. What is WRONG with people these days? This encounter must assume two things: that this kid is used to peeing indiscriminately in public and, only now are his parents finally getting around to the thought that this is no longer cute and could be a problem come his first school year.

james said...

Good ol' camp friend known as Eeyore that is. Yep, he had a certain way with those covers that somehow seemed only funny when he sang them. Everyone else was just construed as a heretic.

g13 said...

i dunno james, i laugh when you sing eeyore's songs,* so they must have wider appeal than you think.

*but, admittedly, not as much as i laugh at your rendition of that fred phelps tune.

Mike said...

wait... you CAN'T piss in public?

oh Eeyore, how many times have i garnered angry looks in church because of uncontrolled laughter at recalling his lyrical work.