shit that has been making me laugh
today i made my morning pilgrimage to espn.com only to find out that the seattle supersonics may be moving to oklahoma city. i think this move would work out extremely well for the supersonics* and am waiting to hear about microsoft’s impending move to Wichita.
last thursday after work I stumbled out of the elevator, walked through the frosted double doors of the cummings center and almost bumped into a six year old kid subsequently whipped out his dick and began mindlessly pissing on a public sidewalk. his dad immediately reprimanded the child by reminding him that “you can’t just pee wherever you want to”** and i laughed most of the way home as i remembered all of the times i’ve pissed in public places and dealt with the unintended consequences that followed.***
i’ve also been laughing for some years now, about the smart-ass ways people re-appropriate evangelical worship songs. my current favorite evangelical covers include, “hail, hail, i love buddha” and “i want to sleep with your wife as you sleep with your wife” by james’ camp friend as well as “shine jehoshua, shine” by a certain brazilian community that insists on reclaiming the original names of our heroes of faith.****
*right up until the NBA players realize that the beating heart of oklahoma city nightlife is a six block strip of chain restaurants called bricktown and the owner's daughter's start to work for the family business (i want to be more specific here, but feel constrained).
**sidenote: if the pixie and i have boys, they will never use mealy mouthed terms like “pee” or “poop,” but will utilize more manly terms like “piss” and “shit.” if we have girls, all bets are off.
***i especially thought about the time i was charged with “destruction of property” for pissing on the side of a little used west virginia highway. this story probably deserves it’s own post, so i won’t elucidate any further except to say that i beat the misdemeanor with a subsequent request for a jury trial and in the minutes after my brush with the law i manically repeated lines from a certain scene in the usual suspects and so reacquainted myself with the wonderful utility of “the f-word” (sorry dad).
****i will allow the person who told me about this cover to remain blissfully anonymous.
A Poem for National Poetry Day
3 weeks ago