Saturday, July 22, 2006

rear-entry gentry's poorly written review of kevin smith's clerks II





last night i joined a couple of my hetero-lifemates for a screening of clerks II.* if you know anything about me or analize read even a bit of the mental masturbation that i post on this site you know that i've been looking forward to this flick for months and desperately afraid that it would disappoint.

fortunately it does not.

clerks II picks up some ten years after we left dante and randal at the quik stop. in the interim the quick stop has burned down, they've gone to work at mooby's,** dante has once again stumbled his way into some of the most beautiful ass east of the mississippi and, well, plot doesn't really matter in these movies as much as points of disputation and vulgar oration do, so i'll stop this synopsis here. if you enjoy dick jokes, the subtle aggression and off-color content of male conversation,*** and can handle jokes about samwise gamgee bricking in frodo baggins' mouth and endure a - thankfully off screen - scene of interspecies erotica then go see this movie. as a particularly poignant scene near the end of the film suggests, clerks II,**** is a story about the absurdities of life, the necessity of work and the essential relationships which enable us to see life through. you'll revel in the rants about the lord of the rings, be shocked senseless by the profilactic power of "pillow pants" and probably even enjoy the scores of musical scenes. but in the end, if you're anything like me, you'll leave the theater just as depressed about your job but all the more thankful for your friends.

so there's your redundant and poorly written review. i'm going to go spend the afternoon with a few friends.

* the women wisely chose to see the devil wears prada, a movie that apparently featured an hour and a half long facial, instead.
** a horrific, disney down on the farm-esque hamburger joint that was first featured in dogma.
*** which, let the record show, very few expressions of pop culture care to capture. if you want to know how men talk to one another, watch a smith flick or an episode or two of rescue me and ignore the banter that takes place on shows like everyone loves raymond or, God help us, some meaningless soap-opera shit like desperate housewives.
**** as well as the rest of the smith canon for that matter.

3 comments:

Mike said...

that's inter-specie sexual exploration dude.

couldn't agree more. the critics are idiots this movie was great.

Dave said...

i shall certainly see it after i see the first Clerks.

g13 said...

hey, the gentry lending library is always open!