personal metrics

over the past eight years i have:

received 2 speeding tickets and 1 citation* for the destruction** of public property
served in a mega-church, a home church and a non-denominational church
had six girlfriends,*** one wife, one son and two dogs****
moved five times*****
fallen out of infatuation with the dave matthews band
fallen into infatuation with the sopranos, the office, fnl****** and the wire
smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked.quit smoking.smoked*******
watched******** six different teams win the world series
had seven different jobs at four different companies
owned or partially owned four vehicles
become an npr supporting member
started a blog
alienated old friends and reconciled with old enemies
married three couples
buried, fortunately, no one*********
swam naked in the seminary pool
attended two conferences
embraced arminian, reformed and idontknowimemergent theologies
baptized********** one close friend
preached 35 pretty awful sermons and 2, 3 or 4 decent ones
been pressed into service as, gulp, a street minister
developed ongoing, life sustaining relationships with the disabled communities in toronto, canada and medford, massachusetts
sustained, and been sustained by, a long-term connection with my spiritual director
obtained*********** a masters in divinity degree from s.h.i.t.

* beat it
** via urine
*** one of whom was dumped in transit
**** one of whom succumbed to sodium pentathol the other to old age
***** and helped j & b move three and, soon to be, a fourth time
****** later retracted
******* see also: drinking
******** but, sadly, only one in person
********* not counting the two dogs
********** and thus, according to the southern baptist friend of my youth, secured my slot in heaven
*********** pending unforeseen objections by the faculty character committee or completely unprovable unfounded charges of plagarism