musing…

it just happened again, right as i began to type. i was interrupted by my boss, who wanted to prattle on about baseball. perhaps i’d be a bit more inclined to talk to him about one of my favorite topics if he knew a single damn thing about it.

but that’s the problem, isn’t it? i am more than willing to talk to people, but only about topics that i’m interested in. i love going out and connecting with people, as long as they don’t go to a restaurant that i could care less about*, are off to see a movie that i am interested in** or are engaging in some form of activity that i find entertaining***. i suppose that’s a long way of saying that i engage with people on my terms, for my own reasons.

unfortunately, as a follower of Christ, that’s not good enough. a couple of weeks ago, while reading the beloved community, charles marsh’s excellent treatment of the Christian values and communal contexts that shaped the civil rights movement, i was struck by his admonition to practice “the humility of participation.”**** in the midst of all of the iconic images – such as the video from the march in selma – and sound clips – “i have a dream;” “I might not get there with you;” “we shall overcome” – marsh reminds us that the real groundswell of reconciliation issued forth from places like the freedom houses in mississippi, clarence jordan’s koinonia farm and a hundred other places where the divisions between black and white, rich and poor, urban and rural were overcome through incredibly ordinary, everyday expressions of the love of Christ.

why am i telling you this? again with the good questions! i am simply admitting that the love of Christ compels me to participate in other people’s lives regardless of who sets the terms***** and i have the feeling that joining those i love as they throw good money after bad at the organic garden, having more inane conversations with my boss about baseball and, God help me, once in a while seeing a movie just because it’s one the pixie would like to see would be good for me. i suspect that there is life, real life, hidden among these opportunities to participate in other people’s lives. here’s to hoping i accept a few more invitations.

*including one in which people pay premium prices for completely uncooked food. when i go to a restaurant, i assume that sweating over a hot stove is one of the things i’m payin’ a premium for.

**obviously the lake house did not make the list. i am also hesitant to pay big AMC money to see documentaries or other films that would play just as well on the small screen.

***on the list, whiffleball, flying and boating. off the list, edible plant tours, shopping for anything other than books or music, attending any girls sporting event that does not include a volleyball net, hot sand and, umm, excursus ended.

****which i just had an opportunity to practice, because my boss just popped into my cube and suggested that the red sox need a better manager. “like who?” i gamely asked. “what about that joe morgan guy?” he quickly responded. at that moment, i had to avert my eyes and shut my mouth, lest i betray my absolute amazement at hearing THE WORST PERSONNEL IDEA EVER. with ideas like that running around in his head, what’s to stop him from heading an HR department somewhere? okay, i’m stopping this…

*****but not regardless of healthy boundaries.

"we may not make it out of the bush leagues, but that’s not why we’re here"*

for the last four years i have been doing the bi-vocational ministry thing and let me tell you, sometimes it is sublime and sometimes it really sucks. on the bright side, this type of ministry provides one with the opportunity to serve people in the midst of ordinary life, ignore most forms of ministerial metrics and empower others and share the burden of leadership. on this shit side, this type of ministry means that you actually have to work for a living instead of being paid to be a praying, preachin’ and teachin’ professional christian. i suppose that the latter element of bi-vocational ministry isn’t too bad if you have an occupation that you either love or find relatively interesting, but it really sucks if you spend your days wasting away as a customer service rep, a swarmy insurance salesman or some other type of occupational bottom feeder.

why am i telling you this? damn, you always ask timely questions!

i suppose this is my little way of confessing that i am often seduced into thinking that my identity is defined more by what i do for a living than by the love of God. in the world’s terms i am nothing more than a recently fired web drone who is currently manning a post that will eventually be absorbed by workers (who, admittedly, will work far more efficiently and for far less money) in the Indian economy. i can’t quite bring myself to say that a monkey could do my job, but a well trained descendant of koko the gorilla could probably do the trick. fortunately, from God’s perspective i am not merely the shining star of some shitty little company, but i am his beloved. i realize this probably sounds terribly cliché, but i am still overwhelmed by the fact that God.loves.me. and i’ll let you in on a little secret, God.loves.you.too.**

so, on my better days, when i’m feeling downright suicidal about my job and searching latest edition of the n.r.a. catalog for a well-priced, liquid cooled AR-15 assault rifle, i remember that because of, in and through Christ, God has looked upon me in all my occupational wretchedness and said in his staccato voice “this is my son in whom i am well pleased.” moreover, if i stop long enough to listen to God’s warm affirmation i am reminded of uncle henri’s teaching that as the beloved child of God i have been: taken by His grace, blessed to be a blessing, broken by sin as well as the suffering of the world and given as nothing less than an incarnation of Christ’s compassion and sign of God’s reconciliation to the world.

maybe you don’t need to hear this, but i suspect that a number of you do. you are not defined by what you do, but by who you are, the beloved son, the beloved daughter and the beloved community of God. together, i hope that we can keep reminding one another of who we are and supporting and serving beside one another as we seek to obey that most ancient mandate of our creator, namely, to be a blessing to the world.

* warning: in this post i get a bit preachy. if that isn’t your thing, feel free to ignore it and wait for a more vulgar, humorous and mindless post.

** all of you, without exception. regardless of whether you believe the right things about Christ and/or have fulfilled the five steps of salvation, God created you in his image and longs to see you burst forth with his beauty, goodness and truth. please note, i’m don’t mean to offend or even evangelize anyone here, i’m just sharing one of my deepest beliefs.

on the media



last summer the pixie and i developed an addiction to TNT’s the closer. this investigative comedic-drama features all of the unexpected investigative tricks of law and order, avoids the gimmicky camp of c.s.i. and features an excellent cast that includes kyra sedwick, as the Dixie-bred, passive-aggressive, chocolate obsessed head of l.a.p.d.’s PMS and a number of other noteworthy role players such as j.k. simmons and g.w. bailey.* the closer constantly provides compelling story lines and, fortunately, always fails to take itself too seriously. for my money, it’s the only must see show of the summer.

* let’s hear it for lieutenant harris! who isn’t excited about the forthcoming release of police academy XVIII?

overheard…

last friday CT’s main page featured an interview with mark driscoll. when asked to differentiate between reformed and emergent theology, driscoll responded thus:

“The two hot theologies today are Reformed and emerging. Reformed theology offers certainty, with a masculine God who names our sin, crushes Jesus on the Cross for it, and sends us to hell if we fail to repent. Emerging theology offers obscurity, with a neutered God who would not say an unkind word to us, did not crush Jesus for our sins, and would not send anyone to hell.”

before i say anything, i would like to offer the following qualifications:

a) driscoll was obviously trying to provide a quip or quotable quote that would stick with the reader. he is an extremely bright man who is not afraid of theological complexity, so i am not going to prop up this isolated comment as a straw man.

b) emergent is not a monolithic group that has a written statement of faith and/or embraces a particular theological tradition. thus, the mere term “emergent theology” is a rather egregious misnomer.

c) i have been thinking about this interview for several days now and last night turned it over time and again in my head as i drank beer, chased it with wine and alternately stared at sunday night baseball and the moon (hence, the bad poetry that precedes this post). yet i have yet to reduce my ruminating to any substantial conclusions.

now that we’ve got that out of the way, i’d like to confess that although i was repulsed by the patriarchal*, theologically reductionistic and philosophically certain synopsis of the gospel, i sometimes wish i could reduce my theology or mission to a sound bite.

in fact, i’ve been so attracted to driscoll’s simplicity that i’ve given the sound bite theology thing a try. in my mind, i’ve envisioned a well-intentioned seeker asking me “what is the gospel?”** and i’ve responded by saying:

a) “it’s just about following Jesus.” i think there is a whole lot of truth in this simple assertion, but it tends to ignore the rather large part that the Christian tradition and our cultural setting plays in shaping our understanding of who Jesus was and what following Jesus really means. this sound bite also sounds a bit too “JEPUSAy” for my taste. i don’t mean to be prideful, but i don’t want my life script to read like a grade school adaptation of Jesus Christ Superstar.

b) “the gospel is an invitation to believe that Jesus is the way to God and an opportunity to live in the way of Jesus.” okay, right up front i’ll admit that is one catchy statement. however, the former part of the assertion simply begs questions about the exclusive nature of Christ’s salvation (something i definitely believe in, but am less and less sure how his salvific act operates) and the back end of the assertion would be much stronger if i fleshed it out in a more concrete way (like the L’Arche community does when they say they are a community that focuses on forgiveness and celebration and serves as a sign of hope in the world)***

c) ugh, i don’t really know what else to say so insert your own pithy response here:
.

i know that i am not alone in my antipathy towards christian jingoism and twelve-step Christian spirituality. in fact, a little birdy told me that even the high, holy gods that sit on the throne of emergent village – which i’ve heard is located somewhere between minneapolis and st. paul – find it incredibly difficult to reduce the mission of the emergent village or the unique contribution we are making to the Kingdom of God into words of wisdom, quotable quotes or even reader’s digest sayings for those loosing hope. however, whether we want to admit it or not, i think that being able to simplify our understanding of the gospel is essential for inviting others to the way of Jesus. moreover, i believe that clear statements of mission will be absolutely essential if we are ever going to participate with God in the replication of churches.

so if you’ve got answers, please share them and so throw a line to an old friend who is afraid of drowning in abstractions.

* i know, i know, this perspective on gender is often called complementarianism and a more generous sort would use that less inflammatory handle to describe driscoll’s thought. i suppose i’m simply a fan of calling things what they are. sue me.

** i am well aware that the chance of someone asking me such a question is about as likely as an unknown atheist bumping into me on the subway and saying “brother, what must i do to be saved? this is a hypothetical scenario, keep your realism to your damn self.

*** in case you are wondering, yes, it always does come back to L’Arche for me. if you are single and you want to learn to love people and practice an earthy spirituality, go serve with daybreak!

vespers

little wine for the stomach
and high life for my head
blue light illumines
yet another unscripted death

unraveled ambition
just add it to the cost
of tilting at windmills
while wishing you were lost

God, to be a postulant
partially cloistered, pale white head
deep solitary intercession
miles removed from the dead

but here i sit among the dying
praying and pleading for mere life
thought and doubt diffusing
as day surrenders to night