musing...

this morning realized that many of my mentors have been trying to teach me the same lesson for years. uncle freddy constantly reminds me that God is not a captive of our abstract conceptions, but chooses to engage, and in a very real sense unfold His life in the midst of, tangled up individuals and dysfunctional communities who for some unexplained reason still long for a sense of the holy. in his music and with his life rich reminded me that Jesus is not captive to the demands or expectations of any sub-culture. in fact, He is committed to turning over tables in every nook and cranny of the public square and constantly calling us to leave our place of comfort and meet him in the margins. moreover, philip yancey has spent the better part of a decade reminding me that our first-century Jewish Messiah is not captive to our reductionistic confessions and God's grace usually operates outside of our conceptual boxes.

again and again this small contingent of God's great cloud of witnesses is chanting God is not captive, God is not captive.

so why do i continue to live like the life of God and the incarnation of His Kingdom is somehow captive or contained within the church? why do i disassociate participating in the life of God within the context of the church from working out my faith within the context of work? every once in a while, i realize that i am failing to follow God and serve those who were created in His image in the workplace, which fortunately or not, is the context in which i live the majority of my waking life. in those moments, like this moment, when i realize that i have left the way of Jesus outside the door of our cubicle farm and could care less about incarnating the Kingdom within this space i am utterly ashamed.

i realize that God is not captive to my compartmentalized world. it's time to start living in step with that truth.

mid-morning time waster: your customer secret service exam


your manic-depressive, non-christian c.s.s. co-worker has had coldplay’s fix you playing on repeat for three straight hours. you know that your co-worker is currently in a manic phase, has recently threatened to dispose of an adversary by “cutting them up into little pieces and vacuuming them up with a vacuum cleaner” and will probably collapse into gasping sobs if you say anything, but you feel that it is time to act. would you address the situation by:

a) politely requesting that your co-worker put jim henson’s “rainbow connection,” her other favorite song, on repeat for the remainder of the day.

b) give her a burned copy of sonic flood’s derivative new single, “Jesus Christ will fix you,” so that she will break the monotony and hopefully get saved.

c) cut chris martin into little pieces and vacuum him up in a vacuum cleaner.

d) keep your mouth shut for one time in your occupational forsaken life and sing rodgers and hammerstein’s “the farmer and the cowman should be friends” under your breath in a vain attempt to dislodge the song from your consciousness.

mid-afternoon time waster: your customer secret service exam



thank you for applying for lightway’s customer secret service position! we know that you have a spectacular talk time, are an aggressive, god-centered up-seller and are among the most efficient at return resolution within our company. however, it takes more than excellent metrics to join the C.S.S., you are going to have to show us that you are a mature christian man or woman that can resolve every conceivable issue with grace and truth. please answer the following questions carefully. your future in under-employment will depend on it!

1. on monday morning a customer calls to request a return authorization for the plastic locust bugs from the “god’s exciting exodus!” series. like many difficult conversations, this exchange has the possibility of escalating into a major customer crisis. please read the dialogue carefully and pick the best response to the situation.

customer: “i received 15 locust bugs and would like to return each $3 piece for a $45 credit.”

c.s.s. rep: “ma’am, you actually returned 12 pieces, so upon receipt of return you will receive a $36 credit.”

customer: “you don’t UNDERSTAND. IT SAYS I RECEIVED 15 PIECES ON MY PACKING SLIP.”

c.s.s. rep: “ma’am, i’m afraid you might be reading our, admittedly rather complicated, packing slips incorrectly. you actually received…”

customer: “YOU’RE SAYING I CAN’T READ? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN’T COMMUNICATE!”

c.s.s. rep: “ma’am, if we can talk like adults here, i’m sure we can resolve this issue in an efficient and effective manner.”

customer: “I AM TALKING LIKE AN ADULT! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SPEAKING OTHERWISE? WHO ARE YOU TO ACCUSE A CUSTOMER IN SUCH A MANNER.”

at this perilous point in the conversation do you…

a) apologize to the customer by saying, “i am sorry that you did not like my response. would you like to speak to my c.s.s. handler about this matter?”

b) follow the trusty dictum “the customer is always right,” by telling the customer, “okay, you can return all fifteen pieces and upon receipt of return we will credit you $45.”
c) respond to the irate customer by saying the following: “no ma’am, you are speaking like a petulant child. now if you will just calm down for one moment we will resolve this issue together.

d) scrunch up your voice and fake a static noise into the receiver before hanging up on the customer and hoping that she receives another c.s.s. representative when she calls in again.

those who answer today’s question correctly will proceed to question #2, which will be posted tomorrow.

thankful


on saturday i had the opportunity to man a hot dog stand and serve hundreds of families at salem's annual "children's day." by the end of the day i smelled like sausage, had openly lusted over a bull-mastiff that donned a hooters outfit and was thankful once again for the opportunity to stand beside and serve with the gathering - a community that simply seeks to "bless the people of salem." we'd love for you to serve with us this halloween as we bless the city of salem by providing hot chocolate, inviting people to hear confessions and serving the city of salem in any other way we can imagine. this is one opportunity you will not want to miss.

by the way, as i saw a hundred and fifty kids line up for the costume parade i could not help but think about some of the horrible costumes i wore as a child. i am almost ashamed to admit, especially in light of current events, that when i was nine years old i put on a "dr. k" t-shirt, pulled a mets cap down over my eyes, slathered my arms and face in brown paint and trick-or-treated as an inexplicably drug-free doc gooden. apparently in 1986 nobody thought twice about letting a kid roam the neighborhood in black-face, but i think that if a kid tried that today his experience might be, understandably, different.

what was your worst costume ever?