happy haiku friday!

dandelions bloom

during a warm summer rain

do i dare to dream?

reflections on my 2nd religion

1. well, well, well...look who's in first place. that's right, it's the St. Louis Cardinals! they took the tough road to get there as well, taking 2 out of 3 from the 'stros and the despised small bears. my gut still tells me that they will finish in 3rd place, but my heart wants to believe that this is 'the year.' as stated before, i'll only surrender to my heart when they reach the 10 games over plateau. by the way, as of today, i will no longer refer to them as 'my bastards' (at least until they drop below .500).

2. i am neither a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but i did predict the reds rapid fall. their fall wasn't just in the cards, it was written all over their run differential (horrible pun intended).

3. the angels are a better ballclub without troy percival. now they can let k-rod flaunt his filthy stuff almost every night.

4. i can't believe brownie stayed healthy until mid-june. it's about time he made his semi-annual visit to the DL.

5. the cards are still one starter short of making the leap. a healthy kris benson would do the trick and freddy garcia might make a hell of a 4th man. they should also give due consideration to reclamation projects such as BK Kim (especially if the Sox are willing to eat the majority of his contract).

6. we haven't heard much about rose's reinstatement lately. hopefully the commish has put the cooler on that one for good.

a brief expression of optimism...

from my perspective, one of the most difficult things about leading a homechurch is the lack of quantifiable results. when I interned at a budding mega-church, I could tell you at any given point how many kids had confessed faith in Christ and had been baptized, how youth group attendance had increased in the last quarter and the number of training sessions we had offered our volunteer staff.

now that we are a year and a half into the life of our homechurch i can only report that we have had a thousand conversations concerning the nature of church for the single conversion we have celebrated, after peaking around March 2003 our attendance has actually decreased and we've had a number of (often mind numbing) 'leadership meetings' up to this point, but nothing that i could honestly term 'leadership training.' i try to be rationalize these results to myself in various ways, but, in all honesty, the lack of quantifiable results grates on me. i was often told that good leaders are productive and efficient, so when i admit to myself that i am neither, it tends to chip away at my pastoral identity.

anyway, the purpose of this post was not to publicly expose self-doubt, but to share some of the little, almost immeasurable, blessings that have befallen our community. so, without further analysis or adieu:

• Artie, our newest attender, read scripture during church last week. This probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but for someone who admits that 'he can barely read a lick' and is on the margins of the faith, this is a big step. so, when he read two verses of Hebrews 4, i felt a lump in my throat.
  
• Alex, who just recently went from being our church's bartender to a member of our community, is one of the most vibrant, engaging young believers that i have ever met. you know something special is going on when people are regularly asking him if they can join him for worship.
  
• our church makeup is now comprised of 30% native New Englanders. this is a huge step for a community that dwells in the shadows of Gordon College and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. if our community is going to flourish, it must establish deep roots in the native soil.
  
• almost every member of our community is meeting with a other members of the community on a weekly basis for relationship building (or you could call it non-programmic discipleship) and prayer.
  
• this fall, our community will celebrate the return of Craig and Bonnie Lewiston and Aaron and Amy Graham to our fold. these couples are leaders who the Father has, and will continue to use, in the good work of the Kingdom.

thank you, God, for the little ways that you are blessing Sinners and Saints. give us eyes to see and ears to hear your movement among us.

i could share more, but i need to get back to serving the christian consumer.

if opinions are like assholes, then my pants are always around my knees.

Father, give me this grace...to keep more of my tangential, divisive and half-baked thoughts to myself.

i have been officially listed as one of the walking wounded. yesterday, after we helped the DeFranzas 'demo' their bedroom down to the studs, i felt great. there is nothing like the adrenaline rush and the sense of accomplishment that comes from a job well done. however, later last night, after we finished watching the new Harry Potter (which was about a thousand times better than the first one, by the way...Christopher Columus is a good fit for Home Alone 4, but not for the Potter franchise), I could barely walk. of course, i had to get up at six this morning to finish prepping a sermon i was to give in the city. not good times...

concerning my sermon, a sense of accomplishment is completely lacking. i had planned to preach on I Pet. 1:1-2, but had to 'punt' the text for the second month in a row (I preach at Hill Memorial Baptist on the 1st Sunday of every month). last month i merely extended a talk i had given the night before on the ends of solitude, but this month i had to pull one from the 'ole file. to my dismay, there wasn't a single sermon in my file, except for one that dated back to 1997 and was produced for basic homiletics at LCC, that they hadn't heard. so i did what was formerly unthinkable, i preached a sermon they had heard before. since the text was a parable, Lk. 18:9-14, i was able to reshape the narrative a bit, but the final blow was exactly the same. needless to say, i felt like a shit for receiving $100 for that effort. this month i'm give myself two weeks prep time instead of just one (or so i tell myself). clearly, my pride has also been deeply wounded.

setting self-pity aside, i am really enjoying douglas coupland's Hey Nostradamus. if, you are intrigued by 'non-religious thoughts on christian spirituality,' this is a work for you. Coupland's Life After God, his narrative survey of post-christian america, and Girlfriend in a Coma, his take on all things apocalyptic, are excellent as well.