Tuesday, July 10, 2007

an all-star running diary


i'm utterly exhausted, sans sleeping baby and attendant wife and for some unknown reason interested in watching the all-star game. so i thought i would keep a running diary tonight since i have nothing better to do and i'm a self-absorbed arrogant prick.

pregame

would it be possible to have a major baseball ceremony without MLB having to shove patriotism down our throats? i'd be a baseball fan whether i was american or armenian. in fact, i plan on remaining a fan after i defect to canada. so stop f*cking shoving god bless america down my throat before every major baseball event.

ooh, willie mays is introduced against a backdrop of the catch. now that's something i can be patriotic about. what a playa.

did you know that mays doubled off a runner after making the catch that is captured so elegantly above?

did you know that i was just confronted with a rachel ray "quilicious" advert when i jaunted over to baseball-reference.com? could have lived without that?

i'm debating whether i should spend the evening bitching about mccarver and buck? any opinions?

eric byrnes is from san francisco? somehow that just makes sense.

today i was really, really suffering from the mid-summer malaise. as a result i found it difficult to get work done, was a bit too snippy with one of my clients and would have watched a mid-night movie with paul reubens if it meant i could have fifteen freaking minutes to read my paper in relative piece and quiet. when you find yourself in a similar state at work what do you do for relief? do tell...

cal ripken junior: not an announcer.

ozzie smith: capable announcer, hall of famer, all-around bodhisattva.

T1

peavy's overthrowing. look for an early run from the AL.

damn tough inside pitch to jeter. maybe i'm wrong headed there.

6-4-3 nice.

joe, you're wondering why ortiz's power is down? you wonder why pujols is also down? you ever heard the phrase cycling down?

peavy just got hosed. big papi should have been punched out.

wright just saved fielder's ass.

wow MJ and cuba gooding are working for haines. kevin bacon must have been busy.

B1

damn reyes can fly. now, if bonds can just rope one to the wall and then tear his ACL rounding first base...

haren grooved one and bonds popped it up. way to honor your godfather's legacy cheater.

--- rachel ray and dunkin donuts themed comment removed due to gentry's poor taste ---

speaking of dunkin donuts, the boston phoenix (of all rags) recently published a fun little article that explores the new england's devotion to the dunks and differentiates dunkie junkies from bucks bitches. for the record: count me in the latter camp. i'm afraid that if i fell in love with dunks, i'd have to start reading the herald and discovering a developing new interest in nascar. no thanks.

way to go griff. secure that home field advantage for us. THIS ONE COUNTS!

T2

man, i know that reyes, rolen and the golden gloves in the NL are incredibly talented. but man they display some bad fundamentals in the field. i just saw rolen pull a roger dorn "ole!" on a ball late last week. i know you guys are infield gods, but square up to the ball.

B2

for the past three minutes, i've sat here wondering whether "bad fundamentals" would be an adequate excuse for terminating rolens interminable contract. maybe i'll shoot jock an email.

tough break there for r. martin. the NL needs to tack some runs on the board. i know that this is going to surprise the baseball fans among you, but the AL has a much deeper roster.

don't tell anyone, but when i get exhausted, i sometimes get a bit sentimental. and when i get sentimental, i love to head over to lost tulsa.com. at that site, i can read brief updates about the gradual demolition of my childhood and laugh at the future land architecturethat graces oral roberts university's campus. are there any sites that you find yourself drifting towards when you're sentimental? do tell.

T3

ok, i'm still reading about my lost childhood and starting to forget about you.

T4

who doesn't love the wolf? man that's a great commercial.

barry bonds and a-rod. the closest of friends. shocker. on that note, griff just totally smoked a-rod at home. nice.

T5

who am i kidding? i'm totally swimming in sentimentality and ignoring the game and the post. catch you later.




3 comments:

mike said...

agreed, mccarver and buck suck.

you know what i got sick of during the hr derby? "back, back, back, back" come on dude, enough already. get a new phrase.

Mark said...

Love the phantasmagoria!

james said...

wow...AL almost threw that one away.