Wednesday, October 18, 2006

mid-morning time waster: your customer secret service exam

your manic-depressive, non-christian c.s.s. co-worker has had coldplay’s fix you playing on repeat for three straight hours. you know that your co-worker is currently in a manic phase, has recently threatened to dispose of an adversary by “cutting them up into little pieces and vacuuming them up with a vacuum cleaner” and will probably collapse into gasping sobs if you say anything, but you feel that it is time to act. would you address the situation by:

a) politely requesting that your co-worker put jim henson’s “rainbow connection,” her other favorite song, on repeat for the remainder of the day.

b) give her a burned copy of sonic flood’s derivative new single, “Jesus Christ will fix you,” so that she will break the monotony and hopefully get saved.

c) cut chris martin into little pieces and vacuum him up in a vacuum cleaner.

d) keep your mouth shut for one time in your occupational forsaken life and sing rodgers and hammerstein’s “the farmer and the cowman should be friends” under your breath in a vain attempt to dislodge the song from your consciousness.


james said...

B. it is a total win-win situation for the giver and the givee, and has the potential for endless hours of entertainment for the entire office.

Anonymous said...

the answer is c) cut up chris martin and throw in a few slices of apple.

ali said...

E) Tell the bitch that if she doesn't shut the fucking music off, you'll bite her ears off!