early this morning, cnn reported that tom chaplin, the lead singer of keane, was entering drug and alcohol rehab and the band’s current tour is being scrapped.
however, the word on the street is that the story is a little more complicated than keane’s website or cnn is willing to report. i’ve heard that the keane star is really taking a hiatus for one of the following reasons.
a) he is desperately searching for another popular artist that keane can ape.
b) he is flying to houston, texas where he and his buddy bart millard of mercy me will be undergoing gastro-intestinal bypass surgery.
c) he really is undergoing alcohol and drug treatment, but instead of entering the betty ford clinic and undergoing traditional treatment he will be participating in the non-traditional, organic treatment program that is offered at the white whale in beverly, massachusetts.
when you get a free moment, please scour your sources to find out which one of these reasons is true. once we’ve gathered a bit of evidence, i’m planning to pen a provocative muckraking peace that will be published in us weekly.