Monday, June 12, 2006

to be chuck klosterman or saint francis, that is the question

stories. stories. everyone wants to talk about stories lately.

an almost infinite number of books from the evangelical milieu, including to be told, the story we find ourselves in and epic, focus on helping develop our personal stories and sanctifying our narrative arc. moreover, this weekend at the boston faith and justice network kickoff bart campolo promised us that if we invest our lives in justice and the poor he cannot promise us notoriety, riches or success but he can promise us great stories. bart believes that the only thing we will do in heaven, besides praising God, is tell these wonderful stories.

in my spare time I spend a lot of my time reading, you guessed it, stories. i read sweeping narratives of great cities and the unmistakably unique individuals that shape and are shaped by their urban settings, i devour crazy stream of consciousness books such as killing yourself to live which reads like 235 pages of kick-ass liner notes and i read about the incarnation of the gospel that was so evident in the civil rights movements.

i am always adrift and occasionally feel like i am drowning in stories. but here’s the thing, i have serious doubts whether my story is worth telling. even more difficult, i seriously question whether my story is what this life is all about.

if i read the Christian Scriptures at least somewhat correctly, it appears that God’s story is to be sole focus of a Christ follower’s life. but there are many, many days on which i don’t feel like listening to God’s story, much less allowing that story line to supersede my own. i want to be enamored, enlightened and engulfed by God’s story, but i am usually far more interested in the unexpected conflicts, peculiar plot twists and ambivalent resolutions that compose my little life.

i realize that allowing my own story to be eclipsed by God’s story will result in a life that is more beautiful, good and true. but i am loathe to surrender my role as director and screenwriter to my executive producer.

for the record, i realize that these tendencies are sinful and i am crying out for sanctification.

1 comment:

Before Girl said...

has it ever occurred to you that to tell your own personal story might in fact be exactly what God wants? That perhaps you have a gift and it is meant to be used?