brushback extra: an in-game running diary

the diz is asleep on the couch, kellie has cashed out for the night and alex is drinking bud light and hanging out with his townie team buddies. that leaves me here all alone, watching the cardinals and the dodgers. so i thought i'd thrash up a little brushback extra.

9:20 p.m. the cardinals are up 1-0 due to a first inning pujols homer and an altogether admirable performance by mulder. how am i able to watch this regional presentation on FSN st. louis you ask? because my grandfather surprised me with the extra innings baseball package for mother's day. or maybe it was simply on mother's day. who knows? whatever the reason, i am grateful!

9:26 p.m. danny haren is 1-5 and mulder is pitching like an ace. maybe jocketty did know what he was doing...and maybe i'm changing my official position on the barton/haren/calero for mulder trade again.

9:26 p.m. danny haren is 1-5 and mulder is pitching like an ace. maybe jocketty did know what he was doing...and maybe i'm changing my official position on the barton/haren/calero for mulder trade again.

9:31 p.m. considering how well youkilis has been playing as well as how poorly bellhorn has performed, you have to wonder why francona doesn’t slot mueller at 2nd and ‘youk’ at 3rd more often. the sox would definitely increase their number of productive outs that way.

9:34 p.m. mulder just gave up a double. that wouldn’t have been a problem if he hadn’t walked the #7 to open the inning. @@#$@#$!!! walks and errors. i know all about the former, since i was BB king during my days on the mound. 1-1 knot.

the cards have been on the cusp of putting up a crooked number all night. if they don’t get some runs on the board soon, they’re going to let this game get away from them.

9:42 p.m. eckstein and grudzilanek just set the table for pujols. let’s see what happens…I think they are “unintentionally” walking pujols again. that’s going to continue to happen until edmonds and rolen start swingin’ the lumber. i was wrong. they pitched to him and albert hit a three run homer, his second of the night. you should have seen the at bat, he tried to slash the ball the other way and missed by inches, then he tried to pull it down the third base line and missed by inches, and he finished with a flourish by driving a pitch over the left-center power alley. with this guy every AB is a clinic. 4-1 cardinals.

9:58 p.m. a bit earlier joe buck made a self-depreciating comment about how many negative emails he receives every game. it appears that not everyone adores him. much to my dismay, i am on the verge of identifying myself with this disgruntled group. let me begin by saying that i do not expect joe to be jack. just as the missouri will never measure up to the mississippi and eckstein will never measure up to renteria, joe will never measure up to jack. the latter was an icon, the vanquisher of that clown caray and the suggestive whisper of the midwestern ether for fifty years. however, i do expect joe to develop a voice of his own. if, failing to find his voice, he chooses to imitate (as most of us do), he should follow in the footsteps of his father instead of those of tim mccarver and budweiser’s head of advertising. he’s better than that yankee ass-kisser and much better than “slama-lama-ding-dong.” refine your voice, joe, and be your own man. and, in the end, you might reflect favorably on your father’s legacy.

10:16 p.m. nancy drew didn’t feel up to playing tonight. what a surprise! In more serious news, mulder has runners on first and second and two outs. this will probably be the crucial batter of the game. especially since crackhead Bradley is on-deck. mulder struck out repko on a borderline pitch (a number the calls tonight have been shaaady) to end the threat. crisis averted.

10:27 p.m. there is no doubt that the white sox are red hot. but i still think that the twins will take the division. the twinkies are just too deep. on another note, if tavarez is not the second coming of joaquin andujar i don’t know who is.

10:35 p.m. after a rolen error (his second of the night!) there are runners on first and second and one out. another crucial situation…that could lead to a tavarez meltdown. we’ll see. side note: rolen looks as lost in the field as he is at the plate.

10:36 p.m. tavarez induces a ground ball. two outs. with runners on first and third la russa brings in ray “burger” king. we aren’t out of the woods yet.

10:40 p.m. shit. burger let “double play” ledee have it his way and it is now 4-2.

10:41 p.m. burger induces the f-7 and we’re through 7½.

10:45 p.m. pujols takes a pitch under the chin and continues his perfect night with a walk. Pujols didn’t like the chin music, however, so expect one of the dodgers to get a little of the same either tonight or tomorrow. Speaking of which, bissinger provides an interesting view into la russa’s reluctant decisions to bean or not to bean opposing players in 3 nights in august. i just finished the latter work this afternoon and have to give it a b-minus. there is very little innovative or original baseball thought in the book, but the prose is above average and i enjoyed reading about la russa (who will henceforth be known as TLR).

10:59 a.m. the cards just pissed away a first and second, no out scenario. Hope that it doesn’t come back to bite them.

11:09 p.m. though it wasn’t particularly pretty, burger has secured two outs in the ninth and left only a single runner on first. now it’s up to reyes to finish things up. of course, bradley is up. nothing ever comes easy.

11:13 p.m. reyes made bradley look silly and the cardinals are 20-11. this wanna-be sports blogger is going to bed. i’m too old for this shit.