The Name Game
by the Pixie aka the "Dairy Queen"

Yesterday Preston and I made our first trip into Boston via public trans. We discovered a few interesting things along the way that we wanted to share. First, Preston's African-American name is Jaden. According to a high-school girl on the Red Line, he does not look like a Preston -- he's a Jaden. Second, while waiting to see the doctor we made friends with the other patients. Right next to us were two middle-aged ladies with a little girl. Since most 5-year-olds get into some sort of trouble while waiting, it didn't take much work to find out the little girl's name. We have spelled it phonetically because we are scared to type the only spelling we could guess. "Air-ee-oh-la, I told you not to run in here!" Poor girl is going to want to run away from her name some day.

happy haiku friday

three pots of coffee

the return of the fury

waking mystery

happy birthday to musings!

today is the third anniversary of brown v. board of education, the legalization of gay marriage in massachusetts and musings of a jaded optimist. today i went back and read my first post in this space, which focused on one pastor's perspective on homosexual marriage, and realized that it was the most high-brow piece i've ever written. entropy, i suppose, is a bitch.

anyway, as musings moves into its fourth year i really want to focus more on this being a positive, creative space where i can muse on what's good, beautiful and true and continue to poke fun at deserving institutions and individuals too. in the month since preston was born i've realized that the demands and responsibilities of adulthood can easily subjugate one's imagination and leave certain dreams on life-support.* for that reason, i'm re-dedicating this space as a wall on which i can graffiti dreams, rants, inappropriate jokes and out-of-the-box ideas that would otherwise fail to see the light of day.

thank you for reading. i don't write for you, but your continued companionship is most welcome.

* not that i'm bitching about the responsibilities of fatherhood or family. to the contrary, i feel more like myself when i'm with pix and the pres than i do when i am without.

who will be the next evangelical idol?



earlier this morning, as ryan seacrest mentioned at the beginning of our show, the immensely popular evangelical idol jerry falwell was found dead in his office at age 73. throughout the afternoon fellow evangelical idols met with the media to eulogize their old friend and comrade. for his part, billy graham spoke of reverend falwell as "a close personal friend for many years," adding "we did not always agree on everything, but i knew him to be a man of God." james dobson of focus on the family spoke similar words of remembrance on a special report from focus that was aired on klove and clear channel's fish radio stations throughout the country today. moreover, on the same program charles colson, formerly of prison fellowship, promised not only to found a liberty university chair in legal ethics but also donate125 iraqi freedom model M1 rifles to the missouri militia in falwell's honor.

we* here at musings of a jaded optimist think that the best way to honor reverend falwell's legacy is not only to remember the good times and the tears he brought to tinky winky's eyes but to start looking forward to the evangelical leaders who are likely to take his majesty of the moral majority's place. below we have posted the current vegas line on evangelical leaders who have a fighting chance to become the next evangelical idol. of course this post means nothing without your participation, so don't forget to vote by dialing 800.4FALWEL or posting your comments below.

rick warren: 2 to 1

pros: he's got the best selling book since the Bible (which is often regarded as the Bible), pastors a ginormous church in orange county--the new "it" spot--as laguna beach will attest, is attempting to address the AIDS pandemic and is reaching out across political divides.

cons: he's reaching across political divides, wears hawaiian shirts, his new look is as plastic as barbie's skipper and he might be susceptible to a kerry-esque botox scandal, he has a weird speaking voice and we fear that his willingness to share his platform with mixed race individuals might have a negative effect on our children.

ed young jr.: 3 to 1

pros: he's from dallas, where 36.2 percent of evangelicals live, both he and daddy have a big church, brother is a gospel singer, and by all accounts ed has perfect hair, pretty nails, a picturesque smile and popular books.

cons he's about three tight fitting pastel sweaters away from john eldredge openly wondering whether he is truly "wild at heart.

andy stanley: 4 to 1

pros: lives in atlanta where approximately 34.5 percent of evangelicals live and narcissistic, melodramatic praise music is the apparently the air the people breathe, leads 2 excessively large churches in the atlanta area that are rapidly multiplyin' franchises all over the south land and rumor has it that he will receive daddy's teflon coating upon senior's death.

cons: height - as one look at billy graham will attest, evangelicals don't like leaders who fail to measure up to dennis kucinich and there is some fear that andy's north point christian church will come under intense, negative scrutiny in the summer of 2007 when the southern baptist convention is announcing its new, annual campaign to evangelize and/or verbally accost all congregations that include the title "community in their name."

rob bell: 10 to 1

pros: graduated from wheaton college just like graham, is a media darling, has defied the odds and his family's personal safety by planting a gigantic church in grand rapids and is one of the few people who actually looks ten pounds lighter on television.

cons: gets five hundred dollar hair cuts from john edwards' stylist, wrote a recent book that suggests that God appreciates sex, has yet to condemn mclaren as heterodox and there are rumors of questionable interactions between live animals and bell on the mars hill stage.

luis palau: 350 to 1

cons: pretty much everything. he's old, he leads "crusades," and he's non-white.
pros: if you pronounce his name incorrectly it's a hell of a lot of fun. try it on for size louie paloooee. louie paloooee is livin' it up with stephen baldwin. louie paloooee is preachin' in kalamazoooe!

dr. jose luis de jesus miranda: 500 to 1

pros: he think's he's jesus come back again, he has lots of money, preaches prosperity and great love for many women, has a large following of latinos a growing minority in the country and nobody f*cks with the jesus!

cons: he's a little soft on abortion and may have obtained his doctorate from the university of phoenix.

okay, those are amazing odds aren't they? so let's hear from you our listeners! don't forget to dial 800.FALWEL or drop your comment below! and be sure to tune in tomorrow night for the next episode of evangelical idol!

* by which i mean me, gentry, and the man predestined to be the 2010 miss church planter of america winner, mr. aaron monts!

musing...

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." - Eph. 4:11-13

i only remember snippets of my seminary education. some of the snippets are smeared with shit, such as the moment in class during my first week when professor jefferson davis lee told me in no uncertain terms that "we aren't going to answer questions like yours in this class," but there are are a few snippets that i still treasure. one of the latter snippets is of the time that professor gary parrott, building on the thesis of r. paul stevens' liberating the laity, told us that the heart of christian ministry is building the body up to the head, who is Christ. of course ministry can be viewed through more opaque lenses, parrott admitted at the time, but the irreducible core of serving Jesus is building a community that grows up into the beauty, goodness and truth of Christ.

i must admit that for many years i have thought about building people up into Christ as merely spiritual work. to wit, i tried to teach the whole counsel of scripture by opting for exegetical rather than sound bite sermons or teachings, consistently encouraged people to intellectually acquiesce to traditional Christian doctrine concerning Christ's death, burial and resurrection and sought to include as many people as i could in the sacraments of baptism and eucharist.

at this point in my a-institutional ministry i still think that the focus of my early work is important, but i also view paul's imperative to build up the body into Christ in a much more holistic manner. thus, i am almost certain that when i am accompanying individuals who are seeking to enter the world of competitive employment i am operating as much from the center of my calling as i am when i am preaching a sermon, performing a baptism or presiding over communion. in some sense, i even feel more centered in the employment specialist role than i do in the teacher's seat. in fact, there have been a number of occasions lately when i have been able to almost step outside of myself in the moment and watch myself walking through the workshop at rectangle and grinning from ear to ear as i greet participants, encourage young job seekers to persevere and constantly emphasizing the potential of individuals rather than bemoaning their current reality. in those moments i can hardly recognize my old cynical self and cannot help but wonder whether i am operating more in and with the Spirit in those moments than i am when i participate in almost any other activity or serve in any other role.

i am rambling...i guess what i want to say is this: there are as many diverse and wonderful ways to build communities and individuals up into Christ as there are unique communities and individuals. if we who are members of the church could begin to see our "building up" role in a much more holistic way i have little doubt* that both the church and the very ends of the earth would be so much better for it.

so here's to hoping for a few more prophets to find their calling in the political systems of the world, where they build nations up into the justice of Christ. let's send out more educational apostles from our communities who are educated in the finest institutions of the world and dedicated to helping the kids in new orleans sharpen their arithmatic and accompanying sped students in the bronx as they learn life skills. and here's to the church commissioning more environmental evangelists who call consumers to repent of our unecessary consumption so that we can participate with Christ as he sustains the natural world and celebrate the revelation of God that is barely concealed in every rock, river and tree.

the body of Christ needs to open its eyes. the only limit upon paul's imperative to build up communities and individuals into the beauty, truth and goodness of the creating and all-sustaining Christ is our imagination. so let's start building!

* and, for me, that's saying something.

mid-morning time waster: create a caption


the writer of the best caption will be awarded one of preston's yellow and seedy poo dollars. all submissions must be received by 10 p.m. on May 11th, 2007. employees and relatives of musings of a jaded optimist are not eligible to receive prizes. no purchase necessary. void where prohibited.

on unintended consequences
today i had the opportunity to observe a job club* that was facilitated by a colleague that works at rectangle, inc. in melrose, mass. since today's curriculum focused on perfecting the art of the follow-up call it was unsurprising that my colleague opened the lesson with the following lead: "today we are going to talk about what you should say when you follow-up on a lead, so i thought it would be fun if we began this teaching by discussing what we should not say when placing a follow up call."

"ok, you heard me. what are some things we should never say when we are following up on an application?"

in response to the facilitator's rather clumsy cajoling the surprisingly diverse group of job seekers responded** in the following manner:

a) "you got my job?!"
b) "um, hi?"
c) "what's up, my nigga?"

needless to say, the latter comment precipitated a five minute break.

* did you know that in comparison with an individual job seeker job club members are 23% less likely to quit their job search within the first month and 33% more likely to locate a job within three months? did you really give a damn? i didn't think so.
** i shit you not.

musing...

early this morning, in lieu of spewing invectives inspired by traffic, i thought about the way that i value scripture. when i was younger in the faith, i used to look at scripture as the unquestioned foundation of my faith. for this reason if i had doubts about God or felt emotional distance from the calling of the great commission i concluded that a lack of time in the word the core issue. at that time i also thought that the correct, common sense answer for all the social issues facing the church, such as women in ministry, stem cell research and the insiduous suppleness of janet jackson's breast, were located somewhere within scripture. thus, if i could only crack the code i figured that i could ascertain a revealed answer for everything.

i don't really look at scripture in the same way any more. instead of a compendium of absolute life principles and an objective, comprehensive statement on the beautiful, good and true, i now tend to look at scripture as an inspired collection of stories about God's creative, redeeming love and people's varying desire to either converge with or contradict God's story. thus, i read the stories of scripture in hopes of finding points of convergence for my community, family and individual story. conversely, as i listen to scripture i hope to find wisdom as i seek to keep the contradictions between my stories and God's stories as minimal as possible.

i suspect i'm not making much sense, but that's what i'm thinking about today. my prayer is that we will learn to listen well to both God's stories and our stories so that we will experience the joy of convergence as often as possible and avoid points of contradiction a little more effectively than we have in the past. pax.

memorandum from daddy random



how'd you like that new title?! yeah, i hate it too. i'd love to blame global warming, the recent advent of my only son and rectangle's recently re-inforced draconian internet policy for my lack of posting, but i confess that the.problem.with.this.blog.is.me.

last weekend, dr. james, agent b and many others (though not nearly enough...join us next year!) attended the God for those who hate church conference over at the gathering space in salem. although i'm one of the many attendees who generally abhor conferences* i really enjoyed the experience. highlights included a showing of frisbee: the life and death of a hippie preacher,** jim henderson's*** unexpectedly intriguing discussion of non-institutional forms of christianity in india and hanging out with karen ward of church of the apostles and tony jones of emergent. however,**** my favorite part of the conference were the little vignettes provided by pastor phil. there was one moment on friday night when pastor phil asked the audience whether any of us had ever felt like we were currently walking through a swamp, constantly wondering whether our next step forward would land on something solid or send us plummeting into the waters below. for some reason in that moment tears welled in my eyes***** and i was, for a moment, awash in a deep communion that seemed to bind those of us who had gathered. it seems to me that pastor phil is a broken man who is not not called to bind wounds so much as he is to call the broken together through friendship, word and song, so that together we can await the healer.

although i should be giving the cardinals well-deserved world champion free pass this year, i must confess that they are fucking killing me. right now i am one click away from espn.com and two clicks away from a live mlb.tv feed, yet i can't bring myself to look. ugh, for good reason. that holliday kid always sticks an alou-sized shiv in us.

that's all for now. there's more to say about how amazing it is to invest one's days in a mission worth believing in and how wonderful my pixie like wife is, but those thoughts will have to wait. much peace, much love.

* i have quite enough pissing contests with co-workers and cubs fans, thank you very much!
** a documentary i'd been waiting to see for almost a year and a half and, when watched, twisted my teeny white panties in a thousand little knots. this documentary raises all sorts of questions about how the church attempts to water down the passion and the glory of the kingdom and how christians of all shapes and leadership sizes carefully manipulate the charisms of individuals in order to satiate our personal ambitions.
*** i'm sure others expected more. call me philistine.
**** and i'm not just saying this to kiss ass!
***** uncle freddy always says that any onrush of tears, especially over a crusty old bastard such as myself, should be received as an immediate call to attention for in those rare moments something beautiful, good and true is likely taking place.

musing...

sometimes i suspect that pastoral ministers are not all that different from sin eaters. based upon the very limited research that i have completed, i've learned that sin eaters were a group of societal outcasts who took the sins of the dead upon themselves by eating a ritual meal of bread and ale that was either passed over or laid upon a fresh corpse. by eating the bread and drinking the ale the sin eater supposedly set the dead free from a life of roaming and, presumably, set the aggrieved family free from the terror of haunting.

likewise, every day pastors sit beside dying marriages, corroding churches and, worst of all, their devolving selves and somehow find the strength to eat the bread and drink the wine. like the sin eaters of old they then tromp off to their secluded study, prayer closet or take a solitary walk in hopes that the sin they've absorbed and the fucked up messes they are now entangled in will somehow be resolved or reconciled in hope that the people involved therein might be renewed or reborn. in sum, pastors decend into the dens of the dead as Jesus did before them and, on their best days, do not venture forth without hope.

as pastors sit beside the dead, devour the bread and sip the cup, is it any wonder that their own lives are often strained to the breaking point? does it not take great faith to wake the dead for a living and constantly endure the darkness in hope of a new day?

time and again i hear people denounce and lament the brokenness of these sin eaters. while i don't deny either the unfortunate causes or effects of such brokeness, i'm honestly amazed that any endure this dark descent.

so today, as i think about my brother and sister sin eaters and the horrors they endure on account of Christ i tremble. i want to extend more grace and mercy to those who share this horribly beautiful calling. moreover, on my better days, i want to extend this same grace to myself.

i probably shouldn't write about such matters in such a careless manner. but so it goes.

somewhere between the losing and the finding


i am as confounded as i am content. i am so deeply grateful to finally have someone who is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone, but terrified that i will not be able to provide for my family. i finally have a job that converges somewhat with my calling, but doesn't pay the mortgage and only tangentially relates to my greatest strength. i constantly want to proclaim the goodness, beauty and truth of God, but can only rarely find the words. i'm an ex-aspiring theologian who leans towards calvinism yet finds himself whispering to those broken by Christ's body that people are only christians insofar as they follow Christ.

it's in moments like these that i envy my Christian brothers and sisters that serve in more traditional settings and cling to a more established branches of theology. these are days when, in an ecclesiological sense, i feel like "throwing the country a through k rack in the middle of the streets and going to work for a virgin mega store." but here i quake and can do no other.

well that was one hell of a birthday present! cards 12, cubs 9

last year the cubs swept us on my birthday weekend and my year was one of the worst on record. this year the cards ground out the series to take 2 out of 3 and apu capped off the whole thing by shivving dempster lidge-style. methinks this year will be one to remember.

on another note: little preston sat on my lap throughout the 9th inning and so witnessed daddy striking the wall. welcome to cardinals/cubs little guy!

overheard...

"We have been beaten in Iraq, despite all our firepower and all our money. And as soon as the last US soldier leaves that hellhole in the desert, the Right is going to start blaming the media and the Left and the anti-war conservatives for causing us to lose Iraq." - rod dreher on the crunchy cons blog

over the past six months many military hawks have realized that their early support for bush's bungle is as indefensible as a cultured person's passion for american idol. upon hearing these confessions a part of me wants to chortle "see i told you so" but a larger part of me feels pity for family and friends who've had to stutter forth such statements of repentance.

overheard...

a little over a month ago sean poirier, a well-known salem witch, died unexpectedly. in the days that followed, pastor phil wyman had the privilege of accompanying sean's friends and family through this difficult time. in beyond the pall pastor phil reflects on the importance of honoring and celebrating the life of those who may not share our theology or walk the same paths, yet are inescapably bound to us by their own beauty, truth and irreducible humanity. i suspect that sean and phil were brothers and know for certain that both their lives and the city of salem is the better for it.

overheard...


"When a child is born, a father is born. A mother is born too, of course, but at least for her it's a gradual process. Body and soul, she has nine months to get used to what's happening. But even for the best-prepared father, it happens all at once. On the other side of the plate-glass window, a nurse is holding up something roughly the size of a loaf of bread for him to see for the first time. Even if he should decide to abandon it forever ten minutes later, the memory will nag him to the grave. He has seen the creation of the world. It is his mark upon it. He has its mark upon him. Both marks are, for better or worse, indelible." - Frederick Buechner

and a little child shall lead them...


i probably shouldn't say anything about children of men because it's a film i have not even begun to absorb. but if you preach, teach or are simply intrigued by the story of moses, the life of christ and/or any number of assorted bodhisattvas you should invest two hours in this film. somehow this film simultaneously reveals the depths the human stain while reminding us to whom the beauty, truth and goodness of God ultimately belong. i could go on about the immaculate imagery of moses in the bulrushes or discuss the cuaron's implicit condemnation of the "fish." but instead, just this once, i'm going to revel in a film like i've always wanted to revel in the revelation of saint john. namely, by sitting back, letting the imagery slide over me and listening for the whispers that emanate from within.

i realize that the fact that we just welcomed a son into the world might be leading me straight into hyperbole, but i'd have to say that children of men was better than any film i saw in 2006. in my estimation, the producers of the film only made one trifling mistake: they should have released it on december 25th.

introducing: preston alan james gentry

our son was born on tuesday, april 10th at 4:45 pm. he weighed 8 lbs, measures 21 and 3/4 inches long and has inherited my monkey toes. i'm sure i'll find more to say about this event, but until then i thought you might enjoy a few of tabitha sherrell's beautiful pics.





okay i will say one more thing. our friends and family have been a wonderful support during this important time. special props to brooke wilcox for tending to kellie and myself throughout the birth, becky for tending to parents while we were at the hospital and kellie and i's family for venturing out in order to welcome little preston to the world. also, many thanks to everyone who gave so generously and so ensured that we were well supplied for preston's arrival.

musing...

last night, while sitting on the couch watching friday night lights, i confessed to brooke that i haven't had a very holy lent. for the most part i've kept my fast and i've even spent a little more time in prayer, but in general this has not been a season filled with the honest personal assessments and extended periods of reflection that, for me at least, befit this season of repentance.

instead it has been a season of anxiously awaiting preston's birth, scrambling to adjust to the interpersonal demands and intermittent political struggles that often characterize my work and learning to invest more fully in my beautiful, pixie of a wife and growing family.

thus, to a very real degree, i do not think that i have extended much effort towards communing and incarnating Christ throughout the past forty days. and yet, and yet, in the midst of a conversation with becky this morning i realized that regardless of my efforts God is in the process of reconnecting me with my own blood by giving me a son, winding the paths of a couple of beloved old friends back towards beverly and investing heavily in the beauty, truth and goodness of our community by bringing miss aubuchon into our midst.

as with jacob before me, even in the midst of my apathy and open rebellion, God continues to give good gifts. i suppose that by this point i shouldn't be surprised by God's grace, but i am. moreover, i have a sneaking suspicion that my forty days of failure have led me towards the heart of a truly holy lent.

i am so thankful.

a feeble request...


if you find yourself channel surfing on wednesday nights, please tune in to NBC and turn on to friday night lights. failing that, you can catch up with this amazing series by watching every episode online for free.

listen, i'll be the first to admit that FNL is not a perfect show. occasionally the plot drivers are inane,* the writers constantly underestimate the way that faith shapes the culture of small southern towns and, as drunken bee over at televisionwithoutpity.com has noted on a number of occasions, the portrayal of teen life is a tad bit idealized.**

however, the show consistently portrays the beauty and promise that suckers even cynics such as myself into interpersonal relationships, while never flinching from the conflicts and complications that never cease to ensnare. in addition, i think that nbc has done a grave disservice to the show by marketing it as a sports drama when most of the compelling characters are women such as the coach's wife, who is played to perfection by tami britton, and the hub of the show is the family life of the taylor's, not the panthers pursuit of the texas state football title. i'm amazed that the legions of folks who bitch and moan about the dearth of family friendly t.v. are constantly tuning in to narcissistic, meaningless drivel like american idol while excellent, critically acclaimed shows like FNL are ignored into extinction.

i know that i've beat the FNL drum in this space before, but i'm still convinced that if enough you take a moment to listen to the tune you will eventually fall in line.

on a wholly unrelated note: the cardinals are in the process of getting curbed by the mets again. while i can't say that i like losing, i must admit that i'm surprised that the MVP3 core of rolen, edmonds and pujols carried the team this far.*** after 2004 i predicted that the team had taken its best shot and was on the road to rebuilding. who knew that after 2004 the team had one very good season and one unexpectedly magical season left in them? so be it.

* like last week's tragic train wreck that resulted in the football field of dreams.
** i.e., the students are a little too good looking and they party to the sounds of tragically hip indie pop instead of the steve miller band.
*** and by this far i mean the 2006 world series championship. still can't get over that one.

memorandum from captain random

i should be finishing the audacity of hope or journaling my dreams for my soon-to-be born son or something, but i’m watching baseball instead. so, in lieu of watching commercials, i’m going to share random shit with you for the next couple of hours. aren’t you the golden child?

joe buck just openly stated that david wright is becoming the “poster boy of new york baseball.” hmmm, i wonder why…let’s see, there are two much better latino players on his team, a superior latino and african-american on the yankees, hmmm, why is it that david is garnishing all those covers right now???

chris carpenter is missing his next start with an inflamed elbow. i think i just threw up in my mouth.

i'm glad that the cardinals just his into their fifth double play in eleven innings, because it gives me more time to blog. speaking of which, lately i've found myself longing for the holy rhythms of liturgy. the older i get, the more beauty i find in the way that lent deepens my experience not only of the resurrection, but also of spring, and i could say the same thing about advent. it seems to me that if we do not choose to let the seasons of the church shape our experience of worship, then other, likely less inspired impetuses, such as our individual creativity or rick warren's most recent book, will shape our worship instead. i grew up in churches that pulled out all the stops for the fourth of july, mothers day, fathers day and even grandparents day, but never spoke a word of ash wednesday, pentecost or maundy thursday. from my perspective, shooting red, white and blue streamers out of a celebration canon on the fourth of july, but ignoring lent altogether is, uh, pretty stupid.

why can't i get these damn blogger fonts to work?! insert curses and invectives here: .

ok, i'll admit it. i think the cardinals are either going to win the division or secure fourth place. if they can find a way to do the latter - and, believe me, i've learned not to doubt walt jocketty, et al too much - that'll be great. and if they can't...oh well, we won the 2006 world series and this aging team has had a hell of a run.

in the midst of the tiny delay before baby preston arrives, kellie has cooked our books and we've considered the costs of daycare. so, i guess what i'm trying to say is, i really need a part-time job that pays relatively well. if you're interested in hiring me for 10-15 hours a week or know someone who is, let me know. if not, no worries! i've heard that there are a couple of massage parlors down by logan that are hiring.

if you haven't seen the south park wheel of fortune episode - which is a send up of the whole michael richards at the laugh factory event - then you probably shouldn't watch it. that clip is really, really offensive.

rolen just got picked off. way to go, hoosier! at least you didn't barrel into delgado and re-injure your shoulder.

brad lidge gave up a solo shot to ruin oswalt's start on opening day? shocker. that guy is about fifteen blown starts away from going mark wholers on the astros.

outfield defense. anyone? anyone?

joe buck, verbatim: "spezio is one of the better hitters this team has to offer." houston, we have a problem.

ok, i'm even boring myself. hopefully when you hear from me next, i'll be a father. here's to hope...and naming children after britney's baby.

five minute book review

over the past couple of weeks i have been overwhelmed by both the power of Jesus' teaching "not to judge, lest you be judged with the same measure" and my apparent inability to live without making snap, often vicious, judgments of others. my sensitivity to such judgments was part of the reason i posted that indefensible brief piece about tony la russa last week. like keith law said on espn insider,* drunk driving is a much more dangerous and life threatening mistake than pumping up anabolic steroids. thousands of people whose lives, including my own, have been impacted by drunk driving can attest that driving after you've had too much, even if that means sipping three glasses of wine instead of two, is not only a personal mistake but a wholly indefensible anti-social act. so the point of that post was to poke fun of myself for my irrational judgments and try to walk a mile in a bonds' supporters shoes.

anyway, i cannot talk my bent towards irrational and spiteful judgments without briefly referencing the deep prejudice i have lately harbored towards those who support the gop. seven years ago, i was incredibly ambivalent about the election of george w. bush and even found myself thankful for his apparent leadership after 9/11. however, after an apparently poorly executed war in afghanistan, an unnecessary war against iraq and six years of fiscally irresponsible and ethically challenged governance by the gop, i have begun to assume that all republicans are bellicose, neo-con, rampant individualists who care little about the collective good and are much more concerned with joey shacking up with donny than they are about responsible fiscal policy and discerning international policy. in fact, over the past couple of years i grew so weary of bush, his neo-con handlers and the reagan republicans that i even voted for john kerry, which, i must admit, was not something i really wanted to do.

i mention my rancor not to stir partisan debate,** but to confess that my tendency to paint all republicans with the same brush is air-tight evidence of my foolishness. i've never been more convicted of my foolishness than i was after i finished devouring crunchy cons by rod dreher.*** in rod's wonderful, progressive-republican manifesto he constantly challenges the moral libertarianism of the left, the free-trade at all costs, sit back and trust the market economic libertarianism of the right and, most importantly, calls the readers to actively subvert the mindless consumerism and meaningless relativism of our culture by thoughtfully conserving the elements of our personal, political and communal lives that are most beautiful good and true. if i could make every democrat and republican i know read this powerful little tome, i would. though i do not agree with dreher on every point (i.e., i wonder whether it makes much sense in the current environment to support an administration which superficially supports many of my ethical stances while actively attempting to unravel the mores and folkways of foreign nations; and i'm not convinced that well-intentioned educational separatism is the best way to approach our children's education) by the time i closed the book i was convinced that i had much, much more in common with crunchy conservatives than i do with many liberal democrats.

i've already gone past my five minute limit, but should probably note that dreher not only utilizes his pages to carefully explain how crunchy conservatives approach topics such as consumerism, food, education and the environment, but he also tells story after story of crunchy conservatives who are raising excellent organic meat,**** building a persuasive case for animal rights and developing family lives that are focused on blessing the world instead of cursing it. here are a few quotes from the book to whet your appetite.

"the first idol crunchy cons have to smash is efficiency, the guiding principle of free markets, but an unreliable guide to building institutions that serve human nature and human community. we have to start living by our ideals, judging things not by what works most efficiently, but by what's good, what's true, what's beautiful - in other words, what's right" (ibid., 229)

"crunchy conservatism is a way of life that calls for a change of culture. it's about returning to tradition, in the face of rampant and energetic consumerism, to reclaim a way of life that's richer, more satisfying, more grounded, more sustainable, more meaningful and, in the end, more authentically joyful than what mainstream american life offers" (238)

"when we had matthew, we moved to a slightly bigger place in brooklyn, but a year or two later, when matthew became mobile, our cozy cobble hill apartment seemed awfully crowded. thus did the dream of home ownership take deeper hold of our imaginations.
(i know, i sound like a commercial for a mortgage broker, but if you're like me, you'll find as you grow older a strange new respect for the middle-class cliches you spent your smart-ass youth making fun of. knife. fork. crow" (97-98).

okay, i've gone on for waaay more than five minutes. but i hope you read this book. i believe that crunchy cons focuses more on what binds us together than the ideologies than rend us apart. for that reason, i think it's a wonderful companion to barak obama's the audacity of hope.

* a pay only site that i loathe and yet cannot seem to separate myself from.
** which i will not participate in after i post this steaming piece of shit.
*** many thanks to rick for the recommendation.
**** oh how i wish i could frequent texas supernatural meats!

do you love me?


this morning, as i lazed in bed beside my beautiful pixie like wife and awaited the birth of our first child, i spoke of the things i love in relation to my love for the saint louis cardinals. since the cardinals open their defense of their 10th world series championship this evening, i thought i'd let you in on our conversation.

the gold standard for this conversation is the cardinals winning their 11th world series championship. everything else in my life is arranged in relation to how important that one event is. i.e., if dizzy is ranked at +11, that means i love her 11% more than the cardinals winning their next championship. conversely, if finishing seminary at gordon-conwell theological seminary ranks at -30, that means i value my seminary education 30% less than the cardinals. got it? if the concept is still a little hazy in your mind, feel free to drop a comment asking me to rank the importance of a public figure, a book, movie, ideology or any thing else that relates to my life. i think that my response will give you a clearer glimpse of the complete picture.*

pixie: +20.2**
papa: +20.1
preston: +15
james and brooke: +11.1
dizzy dean: +11
sinners and saints christian community: +11
saint francis: +3
personal literacy: +1.4
world peace: push
orgasm: push
the gold standard: the cardinals win! the cardinals win! their 11th world series championship!
orgasm: push
world peace: push
the beverly public library: -1.2
kevin smith flicks: -2
friday night lights: -2.3
harry potter and the deathly hallows: -2.5
the emergent conversation: -3
sinners and saints' fourth annual wild at heart weekend: -4
coffee: - 15
coffee at michelle's diner: -21
obstetricians: -37***

* which, for the record, is not a schooner. you dumb bastard.
** there was some deliberation over whether pixie was 20.1 and papa was 20.2 or the final ranking that you see above. but, since the pixie is sitting right here and she has a number of wily skills at her disposal she won out.
*** fyi: they hate women.

out of context: phyllis tickle

But would you place the emerging church with Evangelicalism, or it is something else?"No, it’s not evangelicalism. American religion has four, pretty much equally divided, quadrants. Evangelicalism is one of them, charismatic Pentecostalism is another, the old mainline or social just Christians is a third quadrant, and then the liturgicals. And where the quadrants meet in the center there’s a vortex like a whirlpool and they are blending. So, much of the political energy is evangelical. There’s no question about that. Much of the religious energy is Pentecostal, but that’s combined with the strong ballast of social consciousness and of applied gospel that comes out of the mainline. And into the mix comes the liturgical traditions with the great gifts of the heritage of the church."

- as quoted on leadership today's out of ur

as much as i respect phyllis tickle, and as foolish as i undoubtedly am for cutting across her path, i think that her representation of the emergent conversation is a little idealistic. although the conversation itself should not be defined as evangelical the leading voices in the conversation have evangelical roots and, from my perspective anyway, often appear to be speaking out of and reacting against that tradition. moreover, although there are a number of strong, persuasive pentecostal voices within the conversation (emanating forth from leaders such as kevin rains and phil wyman) i believe that much of the spiritual energy within the conversation flows forth from liturgical and contemplative traditions, not from modern pentecostalism.

i realize that as westerners we often feel a need to define things so that we can properly categorize and compare such things with other things.* but i think that at this point emergent, which i would still argue is a conversation rather than an institution or ideology, is difficult if not impossible to define. that is not to say that phyllis' definition is not flattering. in fact, i suspect that most of the participants in the conversation would be ecstatic if, at some point in the not to distant future, phyllis' idealistic definition of emergent squares with "reality."

of course, that's only my opinion. i could be wrong. what do you think?

* wow, is that precise prose or what?

gentry's judgment: tony la russa


for those of you who haven't heard, tony la russa was picked up last night for a dui. tony had a .093 bac, which basically means he had three glasses of wine instead of two. furthermore in 2006, after eleven years of dedicated service to the cardinals organization, tony led the redbirds to their 10th world series championship. on account of the world series championship, tony's immediate confession and heartfelt apology and tony's deep commitment to the arf foundation, gentry gives tony: a free pass.

tony la russa you are forgiven!. but take heed, my grace is not a license to sin but an opportunity to pursue #11.

five minute movie review: jesus camp

on friday night kellie and i watched jesus camp, a "documentary" that follows a pentecostal children's minister as she conducts local rallies in support of the summer camp that is supposed to serve as the film's centerpiece.

both kellie and i found the film to be ideologically simplistic, poorly edited and, we suspect, offensive to most intelligent viewers. throughout the film the director's juxtapose scenes of a progressive evangelical talk show host, who works for the soon-to-be-defunct air america and reminds us that Jesus' teachings were a tad more subversive than the average republican platform, with admittedly excessive scenes of pentecostal worship in which children are urged to extend their hands and pray in tongues over a cardboard cut-out of george bush and little ones are castigated for sins like swearing and urged to wash away their impurities with a couple drops of aquafina.* the film stumbled and stammered in search of a cohesive theme, which i suspect might have been the justice sunday rallies and the eventual election of supreme court justice samuel alito, but, obviously was never developed really well. moreover the narrative arc of the story was quite confusing, as in one scene we were in acme christian center only to be transported to north dakota in the next, which was followed by an eerie scene in which ted haggard denounced homosexuality from his former pulpit at new life church in colorado** and a clip from an ad hoc abortion protest in washington d.c.

i fear that the few who take this "documentary" seriously will be terrified of a future war between radical pentecostal armies who laden their young with guilt and train their children to be strict constructionists arrayed on one side and progressives and liberals who are impudent assholes who lack the ability to graciously consider divergent opinions and believe that the only way to combat vile propaganda is with vile propaganda lined up on the other. further, the gullible consumer will likely not know that there are people like randall balmer, author of thine eyes have seen the glory and the more recent thy kingdom come: an evangelical's lament as well as rod dreher, author of the incredibly intriguing crunchy cons, who hold strong partisan opinions while simultaneously listening to their political opponents and passionately searching for a middle ground.

i swear, rudolf hess made more of a feign towards objectivity than heidi ewing and rachel grady, the directors of this steaming pile of subjectivist shit, did. the directors, editor and everyone else involved with jesus camp receive no points and may the viewing public have mercy upon their soul.

on a more positive note, if you are genuinely interested in a thorough, yet charitable, liberal perspective on american evangelicalism, due yourself a favor by picking up james ault's spirit and flesh or randall balmer's aforementioned thine eyes have seen the glory and dropping jesus camp to the bottom of your queue.

* which is a registered trademark of the coca-cola company. all rights reserved.
** a scene which raised an obvious question: ted, why didn't you just pay the "masseuse" his $100?

musing...

i realize that you have to dance with the devil in every industry. customer service agents have to surrender fair and just resolutions to the whim of the customer, whose money is always right. church leaders cannot set their sights solely on effective ministry, but must constantly validate their "success" with incremental, and exponential if you are really blessed by God, increases in nickels and noses. and, unfortunately, in my industry you have to constantly handle everyone as though they are a pretty, pretty princess by couching admonitions in affirmations and constantly submitting sound, loving discernment to the emotional whims of - and government subsidized dollars provided by - the individual.

so yeah, i understand the need to dance with the devil, furiously compromising one's means in the hopes of attaining noble ends. but i f*cking hate dancing as much as i hate karaoke and find it really hard to believe that compromised means will lead one towards expected and important ends.

this is not to say that i am unwilling to "play the game." in fact, i'll probably continue playing so that i can keep on serving people by affirming the imago dei that is stamped upon them and sharing Christ's compassion with them on regular occasion. but i find it incredibly hard to participate in irrational compromises in order to pursue the reconciliation and recreation of the individuals and the communities that i love so dearly.

most days i am almost willing to die on the hill called means lest the ends i earnestly seek be adulterated.

maybe a willingness to dance comes with maturity and age. maybe i am too idealistic for my own good. maybe i should remember that my worst day in this field is better than my best day in the customer secret service.

i doubt that these thoughts shock any of you who know me well. sometimes i just need to hash this stuff out.

musing...

tonight i spent a couple of hours networking with other coffee service providers and connecting with potential clients at a local vendor fair. since client traffic was relatively light, on a number of occasions throughout the evening i talked with other service providers about type of coffee and the clients they serve. since we're all in the same industry and there are only so many ways to brew a bean, it made sense for us to collaborate with one another and even broach a couple of trade secrets.

however, as i reflect upon the evening i am surprised by how many times i had to either disarm my colleagues' defensive reactions, assertions and interruptions by reminding them that we are not competitors but collaborators who are seeking to provide the best possible service to clients who are desperate with thirst. in the coffee service sector, competition is not a virtue, but a vice. i believe that if divergent service providers proactively seek to collaborate with, rather than compete against, one another, our clients will be all the better for it.

of course, the value of collaboration and the impropriety of competition is even more important in regards to communities that are seeking to follow God in the way of Jesus. if those of us in the latter camp embrace competition and eschew collaboration in order to fulfill our own ego-centric, visionary or budgetary needs we should be truly ashamed of ourselves. i've said it before and i'll say it again: competition is not a virtue that issues forth from the Christian life. the less competition, and the more collaboration, the better.

i will now get off my soapbox. goodnight.

today's special...*

was the shit sandwich. early this morning a customer tried to run a three-legged race with me because he was pissed that i could not turn around a non-fat, half-caf latte in forty seconds or less. later in the afternoon i dashed into a friend's office to borrow a key so that i could use his space for an evening event and, although i only overstayed my meter by four minutes, was subsequently issued a $25 parking ticket. this evening, after the cohort finished dinner at the boston beerworks fenway, where we received the shittiest service known to man, we walked over to the aforementioned office for discussion...only to find that the key i picked up earlier did not work. we then retreated to the barnes and noble in kenmore square in order to regroup and listen to our keynote speaker, but were immediately told that this branch of the barnes and noble, unlike every other barnes and noble in the world, closes at 9 pm sharp.

by my mathematically challenged calculations that's four servings of shit which, whatever way you cut it, usually results in one clusterfuck of a day.

but here's the thing: although today's four course special was shit supreme i was surrounded throughout the day by the most remarkable people you can imagine. at the end of the day i realize that i have a boss that backs me up, friends who are not only willing to share their space, but also their stories and companions who are fascinated by and committed to following God in the way of Jesus.

so although i spent the day eating shit, i am one fulfilled motherfucker.

* caveat emptor: i curse a lot in this post. i try to be less profane, but it doesn't always work.

musing...

although i settled for shitty customer service jobs for six+ years, i always wanted to work in social services. towards that end, i applied for jobs at local agencies, volunteered my time and made feeble attempts to network with people in the field. however, though i always suspected my days would be best invested in the helping professions, i worried that working a social service job during the day and continuing to work with sinners and saints would relationally exhaust me.

right now, i realize that my suspicions were not without merit.

don't get me wrong, i love my new job, but some days, after i've spent two hours in traffic, eight hours accompanying people with disabilities and another hour or two discussing, dreaming and investing in the mission of the church i am utterly exhausted. at such moments, my head pounds, i lose my sense of humor and i start looking for a reasonable route of retreat.

not that i'm comparing myself with him or anything, but i realize that Jesus felt this way on a number of occasions as well. there is this wonderful scene in the gospel of mark where Jesus and the disciples are sailing away to a retreat only to be intercepted by massive, clamoring crowds at their port of call. at that moment, as mark tells it, the disciples are fonching at the bit to get the hell out of dodge and trying to remind Jesus of their original intentions. but in that moment, Jesus looks at the crowd and has compassion on them. quite literally, as mark tells it, Jesus looks at the clamoring crowd and loves them from his gut.

right now i want to find a reasonable route of retreat - painting the nursery tonight all by my lonesome sounds really good right now - but i also want to learn to love my clamoring clients from my own gut even when i'm utterly exhausted.

i suspect that such empowerment on the Holy Spirit's agenda. i hope he can find a moment to slot me in.

check out my brother's bunghole