yesterday i became convinced that God has called me to focus wholly on the horizontal aspects of life and surrender the vertical aspects to Life itself. but today i was ambushed by another's insecurities and accused of building a kingdom with another's coin.
i realize that i was made for liminal space and i want to focus my life on reaching out to others instead of reaching up for the next next rung in the godforsaken ladder. but at the same time i refuse to shape my life around the insecurities of others. i have not surrendered my kingdom only to be rent asunder by someone else's petty fiefdom.
i suppose all of this is an elaborate way of saying that i am really, really pissed off right now and tempted to war up instead of responding in charity. yet, in this moment, i am mindful of nalia's reminder that it is by kindness that we can overcome the world.