Monday, November 26, 2007

unsolicited opinions...

mc lovin'

1. my son: as if you didn't already know that.
2. the pix's pecan pie: 2,000 calories of crunchy, molasses sweet, septic shock inducing glory.
3. seth rogen: partnering up with kevin smith to shoot zack and miri shoot a phono.
4. dr. james as john proctor: dude damn near knocked my knickers off. seriously.
5. free money: thank you family foundations and keep it coming. baby needs a new pair of shoes!

eh...

1. the boston celtics and the nba: love the free tickets, hate the sloppy play and the simultaneously demeaning and demanding scoreboard. i'll clap my hands when i am gosh darn good and ready!
2. jon krakauer's under the banner of heaven: hey, i hate the polygamists too, but some of the simplistic faith vs. reason theologising really bugs.
3. nick hornby's slam: sure, i devoured it in two days, but about a boy and high fidelity it is not.
4. band of brothers: intriguing story and quality cast, but the narrative arcs are not definitively sketched and the dirge like tone gets a little old. take a lesson from your allies easy by learning to always look on the bright side of life. i think a revision is in order. that episode about pvt. blithe just about killed me. wow.
5. christmas: hate the music, hate consumerism, hate obligatory gifts, hate claymation but afraid to offend fred claus.

hatin'

1. fnl: i'm glad the writers went on strike since scabs could surely do better. memo to mr. berg: win state is a legitimate, season long metanarrative. wfw (or who f'd who) is not.
2. micromana...uh, hate feeling the freedom to holler the things i hate. once bitten, twice shy i suppose.
3. dizzy dean: the dog who submitted to the sodium pentothol i always threatened. that is one irony i could live without.
4. extreme home makeover: dying of a terrible disease? taking care of your eighteen nieces and nephews? tractor tore your testicles clean off? here's what you need? the american dream! once you increase that carbon footprint, turn on that plasma screen and soak in your hot tub for twenty, you'll feel all better!
5. my taste in movies: even with all scruples considered, i will not be able to dis zack and miri on opening weekend. i know, i know. indefensable.

consider yourself solicited.

8 comments:

Agent B said...

Now THAT'S some bloggin'. This is the G13 I fell in love with. Keep it up.

Extreme Home Makeover: I have been stumbling for the words to describe that 60 minute Sears ad show (we see it almost every week @ obi-wan's). I couldn't have described it better myself. Good work.

PS - my pecan pie can kick pix's pie's ass.

mike said...

comment Gee One Three style:

* my grama made an equally diabetic (or diabetis if you are wilford) inducing pecan pie.

** EHM can suck my b***s. all that home improvement stuff is a joke. except my boys at this old house. i hate it when a client asks us to do something they saw on there. i have to explain to them that it was only tv magic, like david deuche bag blain levitating.

*** didn't know there was another K Smith movie. will have to see it.

**** read Under The Banner. i liked it.

***** haven't read Slam yet but just got a long way down and love it. it is fun cause i have heard him on NPR and This American Life. so i put his voice on randomn characters.

Anonymous said...

OK, so the pie ranking BELOW our child is appropriate. The pie making the cut but not me? I am sure that this was just momentary amnesia and will be rectified shortly ;)

B - you're on - high noon in the kitchen after Cade & Becky's wedding. (Now accepting applications for blind-folded taste testers & a host kitchen)

josh said...

exactly. i hate christmas too. but my main starting point is the colors. red and green plastered everywhere are like red to a bull to me. it makes my insides feel like they are clashing together like cymbals. if they switched their colors to blue and white i'd probably be a bigger fan. the music sucks too.

for example, last night over dinner i got to listen to tlc's christmas, 98 degrees, and then some celine dion. gag me.

Before Girl said...

Fun fact about EHM: the people they make the houses for usually end up having to move out within a year or two and back to living in crapville because the property taxes for those huge houses in modest neighborhoods usually ends up driving them out. They can't afford the 80,000 sq. ft. home with special lighting, windows, hot tubs, etc. in a neighborhood of tract houses.

All you people hate Xmas? I hope you get coal and your stockings are filled with sawdust and motor oil.

g13 said...

witty retorts in no particular order.

agent b, i'm glad you fell in love with my lack of substance. little wonder that you and kellie get along. as for the pie contest, best of luck to ya.

mike, gee one three about killed me. i'm glad to know that at least one of my friends knows how street i truly am.

pix, your comment inspired an immediate, but unfortunately unprintable, retort. too bad musings is a family-friendly blog.

josh, i'm with you on the colors, but doubt that america could do christmas without the green.

krista, that ehm fact is horribly hilarious. does santa have a more eco-friendly way of expressing his dismay?

Dustin said...

i liked Under the Banner of Heaven too. Could have probably been 50 pages lighter and been better, but i enjoyed it.

ahbahsean said...

I love Pecan Pie. As the bride that weekend I think its only fair that I get to help judge the competition.