a quick comment on another stunning achievement
this morning, after fifteen years of focused effort and ten minutes of hard work, i finally tied my own tie. i cannot truly enjoy this monumental achievement without thanking those that made it possible. dad, thank you for using your hairy, nimble fingers to ensure that i never appeared at parochial school in anything less than appropriate dress. steven hurt, wherever you are, i would like to thank you for teaching a young lad that it is possible to dress professionally and provocatively. thank you for living the dream steven. i hope that this achievement makes you proud. alexander, thank you for providing the overpriced swatch of silk that inspired me to take this step. i am so glad that strapping on silk before stepping into work is one more experience that we can share.
i know, i know that my time is up. please don't restrain me from sharing my gratitude...
finally, how could i almost forget?, i would like to thank the pixie, who in a mere five minutes of abbreviated study and careful application reminded me that this dream was not beyond my eager, emaciated reach. thank you for leading me to heights i previously considered unattainable. i love you.