Friday, August 11, 2006

mid-morning time waster:

"tonight, on a very special episode..."

is it possible to hear those words without thinking about child pornography, adolescent drug abuse and unintentional comedy? over the past couple of days a few of us have been creating a list of of the creepiest very special episodes of all time. after you read our top three, take a few moments to weigh in.

1. gordon jump, the trustworthy maytag repairman and part-time bicycle shop owner introduces arnold and dudley to the wild world of pornography and somehow gets dudley to take his shirt off.*




2. webster secretly wishes that katherine's baby would go away and then feels personally responsible when she miscarries.**



3. blair and tootie take mrs. garrett to a male strip club***



* similar very special episodes on webster (where our little friend finds out that his teacher is molesting another student and is planning to molest him next) and on facts of life (where tootie is lured into child pornography by a sneaky photographer) served to confirm our suspicions that it is downright dangerous to be a poor black kid in a white middle-class world.

** in subsequent episodes we learn that katherine didn't really have a miscarriage, but an abortion (after she learned that she was duped duped into adopting not a needy little black kid, but a greedy little dwarf).

*** on a positive note, later interviews suggest that this tawdry episode directly contributed to lisa whelchel becoming a christian and subsequently writing a ever-growing number of priceless child training manuals for focus on the family.

13 comments:

james said...

Blair and Jo take Mrs. Garrett to a strip club. And blair finds out that her boyfriend is one of the featured dancers.

junkyardlove said...

I was just watching a clip of that Different Strokes episode on one of those vh1 count-down shows. So creepy. You'd never see that today.

Man. I miss Ma'am and George Popadopalous.

james said...

kind of wierd that you'd never see that today. You're totally right JYL. But something you do see today that you'd never see then is nudity. weird.

Agent B said...

I remember that different strokes. I think. Something about cartoon mice.

g13 said...

my first runner-up would be the episode of blossom where the title character loses her virginity...to a man! really, how realistic is that?

we're still waitin' for additional nominations.

cade said...

wait.

that was gordon jump? MR CARLSEN from wkrp?

*shudder*

g13 said...

oooh...i knew something about TV that cade didn't!

apparently gordon made a little extra income off signing framed photos of the skeevy bike repairman kneeling between arnold and dudley. that's not as revolting as the buckner/wilson autographs that have been marketed in recent years, but it's pretty close.

josh said...

hahaha

Dave said...

this is more like a mid-afternoon time waster but...

i recall two episodes of Growing Pains: the one where Mike, Boner, and their other friend go to the party and people there are doing cocaine; and the other when Carol and her boyfriend Sandy get tipsy, get into an accident, and Sandy dies.

there was also an episode of Family Ties where Alex's friend dies, and honestly, i don't know why. but he was having these weird "what if" conversations with him with the spotlight on them and the set darkened. just kinda weirded me out.

on another note, do you all remember that Punky Brewster episode where they go camping and go into that Indian cave? it was like a two-part episode. some stellar graphics there.

james said...

dude...a show with a guy named Boner. That right there is disturbing...

I do remember the Punky episode where Cherry got stuck in curbside refrigerator and the Punky and Margo (i think?) had to perform mouth to mouth?

*gah*

Mike said...

yeah james, i was just going to say that about the whole boner thing.

does anyone remember that one show about the family of circus actors? i think they were called the aristocrats?

cade said...

first off, i LOVED that family ties episode. creepy, yeah, but well done...for the 80s.

but, on the same tip. i offer this:

Episode 36: "Say Uncle"

Alex discovers that his idol, young Uncle Ned (guest star Tom Hanks), has a serious drinking problem. He is visiting after losing yet another job.


judge as you will.

Before Girl said...

I totally remember that Family Ties episode with Tom Hanks. Do you remember the other Different Strokes where Arnold and Kimberly got kidnapped by a guy and Arnold got away and Kimberly nearly got raped by the guy in his photography lab? What about the Facts of Life episode where Natalie got mugged? Or the All in the Family when Archie's wife got raped? You'd never see an All in the Family nowadays.