Friday, May 19, 2006

rear-entry gentry and kevin smith clark proclaim no veni, no vidi, no da vinci day!

after long hours of deliberation and passionate prayer, we are have decided to join barbara nicolosi’s courageous other-cott of the da vinci code. tonight we are planning on enjoying our own apocalyptic film festival before heading out to protest this anti-Christ on celluloid. our flyers are going to list the following reasons that good, God-fearing moviegoers should othercott the code. feel free to add additional points to our persuasive list.

1. tom hanks is a cross dressing pervert
2. joni loved jesus even more than chachi and richie rejected her gospel
3. we refuse to support the gay gandalf with our ticket sales
4. albino monks are almost as sketchy as that devil's baby
5. we're both oblates of opus dei
6. we’re protesting the 10 foot high fence ron howard has erected in hopes keeping original scripts out of imagine entertainment
7. we’re still pissed about hanks and that fedex package in cast away (you know there was fishing line and matches in that shit)
8. screenwriter akiva goldsman is still responsible for the homoerotic carnivale that was batman & robin
9. we’ve long suspected that mona lisa is a lesbian
10. we’ll be damned if jesus’ actual decedents were the dirty, liberal French
11. we refuse to participate in a world wherein paul bettany gets to bed jennifer connelly (that's like kelli kapowski having screech's love child)
12. there’s no way this code is better than the omega code


cade said...

thank you. thank you for the bettany shout out. he is indeed the bastard of the millenium.

junkyardlove said...

i love paul bettany. not for bedding purposes.

i don't love him with jennifer connolly.