rear-entry gentry and kevin smith clark present: the mid-morning time waster
after failing to successfully complete his amazing underwater endeavor, david blaine is desperate to create another scene of extreme deprivation. since “deprivation dave” is currently soliciting creative submissions concerning his next stunt, we would like to challenge him to:
1. try and survive for two whole weeks as an innocent Iraqi citizen.
2. gamble his finances and psychological health by attempting to build a successful budweiser distributorship in salt lake city.
3. survive for six whole months in the rural south without making a single visit to wal-mart.
4. run the Yankees on a $50 million dollar payroll
5. . abstain from masturbating to pictures of anton lavey or david copperfield for one month.
6. make barry bonds' "cream" and "clear" disappear.
7. reunite pink floyd for a world tour...'cause live 8 made us tear up...
8. listen to larry the cable guy, non-stop, for one week. if he can't sack up for that, we’re willing to substitute hanson.
if you have other creative submissions, please know that we are willing to listen.