Wednesday, October 19, 2005

do or die, part deux

bottom of 5

you know your team is in trouble when you get overly excited about an HBP. oswalt looks unhittable.

first and second, no out. i'm going to follow rick's advice and think happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts...

(marginal note: i can't believe fox just drew attention to their dumb-ass "right now!" box by playing that stupid, we substituted substance abuse for social justice song by van halen).

and it's...another blown call. everett clearly missed molina. in these instances, where the umpire has absolutely no angle on the play, he should be allowed to ask the first base umpire, who had a perfect angle on the play, for assistance. dumb-ass union monkey.

okay. 3-1 is a hell of a lot better than 3-0.

that's the stupidest comment i have ever made.

you'd think that on a day like today, when i got a promotion at lifeway, probably sold the corolla, completed a ball-busting take home exam for a seminary class and am sitting on my couch with a beer in my hand and dog at my feet, i'd be a little more optimistic. so i'm doin' it. if karma works for earl, optimism will work for me!

good at bat for eckstein. he struck out, but he made him work. little by little. little by little.

top of 6

is there anything less compelling than an in-dugout interview with tony larussa? i think he would rather eat meat than talk to thom brennaman in the midst of a tight playoff game.

why do they have to put the in-dugout microphones on idiots? earlier, brandon backe noted that "the walk from the mound is the loneliest walk in the world. i don't care if i done good or not. i hate bein' pulled." jeff bagwell is sitting in that dugout, doing nothing, and you choose to mike the likes of brandon backe? come on! (of course, this entire argument would be unnecessary if fox pinched their penchant for stupid gimmicks (i.e., scooter, right now!, diamond cam, fan cam, manager interviews, etc.), of which dugout mikes are only a part.

you can't scheme a schemer! except when you can. that squeeze was huge.

bottom of 6

okay, the gig is up. edmonds, walker and sanders cannot catch up to a 97 mile an hour fastball anymore. or a 95 mile an hour fastball for that matter. this team has some major re-tooling to do over the winter. i told rick that if we don't win this year, we won't win for 7 or 8 years. i'm not the prophet or the son of a prophet, but...

i think pitching to pujols with one out and no one on bat is foolish.

i told you i wasn't a prophet. oswalt just stole albert's milk money.

that oswalt is one cool customer. he's a consistent, understated and sane version of prior. ugh.

top of 7

i found this incredible picture of gate 5 at bush on the nyt website this morning. i found it strangely touching. it also provoked the following top 5 lists.

top five moments at busch stadium:

watching the cardinals whip the cubs to secure the 1985 national league east title

sitting five rows from the field on a beautiful sunday that also happened to be the last regular season game at busch

willie mcgee's ninth inning walk-off homer on opening day in 1997

the "brawl" that was precipitated by will clark spiking the "secret weapon" and ozzie swinging at will and hitting him in the helmet

watching the cardinals whip the padres to win the first game in the 1997 nlcs

holy shit. when it rains it pours. they're chilling champagne in the visitor's locker-room right now.

bottom five moments at busch stadium:

making vicious fun of tony gwynn throughout the aforementioned game and laughing when somebody threw a twinkie at him

getting douched with beer in the right field, upper mezzanine section when i was nine years old. did i mention that i was wearing my brand-new satin bullpen jacket (oh yeah, i still have it)

having frank thomas' foul ball (it was an interleague game) bounce of my hand and into the hand of the guy sitting next to me. that was the closest i ever came

the day that our greedy, bob dole votin' owners push the self-destruct button on my youth. "it'll increase attendance." we drew over three million almost every year! "it will revitalize downtown!" yeah, for people who are seeking jobs with aramark or sports' service. "the ballpark village will be a year around draw!" yeah, just like the half-vacated union station. fuckers.

bottom 7

even tony realizes reggie can't catch up to that heat. hello so!

can i add another one to my top five? every moment i spent at the stadium with my grandfather. earlier this year he tried to convince me that i had attended a game at sportsman's park with him in the early sixties. i almost didn't have the heart to tell him that i wasn't alive then. it was one of those rare, advanced age moments that are truly memorable.

top 8

spent monkeying around with blogger's font formatting. insert curseword: _________.

bottom 8

if we could have taken 2 out of 3 from houston during the last week of the season, things could have been different.

top 9

i can't find it in me to hate craig biggio. but hating the fact that someone wrote a haray caray, a fired cards broadcaster by the way, quote on the walls of busch stadium comes naturally.

bottom 9

if we have to end it now, i'm glad we're ending it at busch.

enjoy retirement larry walker. thanks for playing with a bulging disk and enduring the cortizone shots.

for the record: i'm rooting for the white sox and trusting that the final send off will be respectable.

there it is. congratulations astros. but i hope drayton mcclain chokes on his reprocessed meat.

there's no crying in baseball. no crying.

does somebody need to tell tom brennaman that shoeless joe has been dead for 50 years?


monts said...

it's not looking good for the deadbirds, is it?

(figured i'd give you a little taunt)

congrats on the promotion!

g13 said...

thanks montsie. i'd say something nasty about the cubs, but they just don't concern me (or anyone else in the national league for that matter) anymore.

Agent B said...

So what's your promotion? Larry Cannon's lackey

monts said...

what's even to say about the cubs? they suck. the only good thing to happen in cubdom lately is seeing joe girardi get named as manager of the marlins.

go cubs! (always a hopeless optimist!)

g13 said...


don't judge me, but i've decided to be larry's surrogate. apparently his wife hasn't fully recovered from "the surgery." i liked her better before she changed her name to arwen.

Agent B said...


g13 said...

you didn't really think that c.s.s. meant customer secret service, did you? my secret service, dear b, was surrogacy.

monts said...

how can you root for the sox? any team that throws the word series never deserves to win again!

g13 said...

dude, have you observed the astros fans? the majority of them are idiots (and yes, i'm including clemens' wife here). i can't root for a team like that.

go - go - sox! do it for weava!

mr. matthews said...

i'm with you ... congrats to biggio and bagwell ... but go sox. i actually had to sit and listen to an astros fan last year while on my baseball trip talk to his wife and buddy about how they use "pinch hitters" in the american league so it isn't as good as the national league where the pitchers hit. morons. every. single. one.

g13 said...

thanks for the hrumph, mr. matthews.

thanks for stopping by the blog as well. i can always use people who will increase my credibility.

i really enjoyed the baseball trip blog. that must have been a heck of a journey.

Agent B said...

I suppose this is a bad time to announce that me - the most non-sports guy in all humanity, has one (and only one) vague hint of being a fan of any team...and that's the Astros. I grew up in Houston and they're the only major league anything that I've seen "live" (I don't even know the proper lingo here).

I've always said that I'd come out of the closet if the Astros ever go to the World Series.

So I take it that I can come out now?

g13 said...

no problem, agent b. i'm not a hater.

Agent B said...

Actually I'm not wasting time cheering for anyone.

This is like one of those sign of the "end times"

Tracy said...

I am so glad you got the promotion! I know you wanted it! Sorry about the Cards (but only a little bit) Since the Astros have never been to the world series, i am kind of happy for them that they get to do that now, but we all know the Sox will dominate!

Kellie said...

1. You didn't call Optimism. The Optimism army was just waiting to rescue the Cards.

2. Props for working my eyebrow waxer's sex/name change into your comments.

Rick said...

the eternal cardinals optimist is hapy for a couple of things...

1. i can get some sleep.
2. i will not be consumed with ESPN, the hated Fox, and the sports pages and blogs.
3. in the midst of such a miserable series, we will always have game 5, which is worth more than any Astros acknowledge.
4. the Astros did not win in front of of their unknowledgable fans. this is my favorite to think about and brings warmth to my heart. the celebration was delayed. i would rather have them celebrate at Busch than win game 5.
5. Petitte's "Oh my Gosh." from game 5.
6. unlike Gentry, I think we will return. Pujols is not Bonds and will drag the team where he wants it to go. He is that good. The pitching is still very good and the Astros will lose Clemons.We need to address some serious needs, but who does not? Jocketty has continued to come through for us. He is smarter than any of us and I acknowledge that after years of 2nd guessing.
7. At least the Astros did not have Wade Miller too.
8. If the White Sox curse is to be broken also, at least it will not be against the Cards (how miserable would that be?).
9. All the Astros fans will still be clueless fans that know almost nothing about baseball (due to Foxes "baseball for Dummies" coverage). Did you notice how they would cheer and boo at the wrong times in the stadium?
10. Instant Replay will be discussed a bit more seriously after the debable Umps made of the entire proceedings. Who cares if the game lasts 3.5 hours instead of 3.25 if they get some calls correct (with you on the fact 1st should be confering with 2nd umps on the Molina out- ridiculous).

Go White Sox

cade said...

i...can't...root...for the white sox. i want to. i would love to see jermaine dye with a ring.

but i would also like to see the likes of frank thomas, paul konerko and carl everett tossed into a well and forgotten about forever.

the only team i have hated longer is the yankees and aside from their pitching (which is ridiculous) they don't deserve this chance at "redeeming" 88 years of bumbling.

hate to say it guys, but: go 'stros.

oh and jeff, i could hear your head explode from my apartment when they started talking about clemmons' mom and shoeless joe again.

W. Wilson said...

Hey, I remember when McGee did the homer on opening day back in '97.... it was freezing cold! Those were some fun times... you, Schlotfelt, his roommate, and that crazy driver who almost killed us fourteen times in downtown STL. Ahhhhhh, the memories!

g13 said...

wes! it was great to hear from you. i've been trying to touch base with you for quite a while now. shoot me an email at when you get a chance.