Thursday, April 21, 2005

memorandum from captain random:

fact: if you are a little person (read: midget) with a penchant for acting you will never be unemployed.

i have decided to give up smoking...as soon as dizzy gives up nipping. a man needs accountability.

i can't help but laugh my head when i read sentences like this: "the amazing love of God for me penetrated my heart in a new and deep way that night." there are so many things that i could say about this sentence, but none of them are appropriate. so instead of being vulgar, i'm going to move on to the next chapter, "arousing adam." john and stasi eldredge bring so much to the unintentional comedy table.

if you aren't watching the office on tuesday nights, you're missing out. us collard people love it!

alex took me to the sox game on tuesday to celebrate oklahoma land run day, earth day or my birthday. i can't remember which. the convergence of these days makes celebrating my continued existence rather complicated. anyway, i enjoyed the fenway experience as always and was relieved that fever pitch has left nary a mark on the fenway faithful. our section was filled with interesting conversations about pitch counts, arguments about a certain player's age and the liberal spiking of coca-cola. there was no evidence of either a conga line or an under accomplished comedian in section 13. that being said, we were not left without a big mouthed (i am tempted to say something else that wouldn't be very nice) idiot in our section. when shea hillenbrand, a red sox product who was traded in 2003 for bk kim came up to bat she stood up and yelled "traitor." when i reminded her that hillenbrand did not leave of his own volition, but was traded, she wittily retorted, "he's still a traitor." she needs to get her big...mouth back to the bleachers, where she belongs.

unfortunatery, there were no godzirra sightings at fenway.

you know you're getting old when one of the kids in the middle school youth group you sponsored decides to up and get married.

in the last week the pixie agreed to let me put seats from busch stadium in the living room, watched the clemens/oswalt duel with me and bought a panoramic, framed photograph of busch stadium to commemorate land run day. did i mention that she wants to play strat-o-matic with me? i married the right girl. now, if i can only convince her that watching baseball and chewing red man golden blend are inextricably linked...

17 comments:

ahbahsean said...

I've only seen one episode of NBCs version of The Office this season (stupid class gets in the way!), but I agree its good. If you get a chance to rent the BBC version, it's worth it. Also, the girl who plays Pam - Truman State University graduate! HELLO!

g13 said...

the bbc version does indeed kick ass. kellie and i burned through both seasons in about a week.

i'll take pam over dawn, by the way. the former is hotter than the latter. and, while i'm at it, tim over jim. in the latter case physical attraction is not a metric.

g13 said...

it takes special words to speak of the eternal.

ahbahsean said...

Did you know the actor who plays Tim is the lead in the new Hitchhiker's Guide movie? I'm full of useless facts today it seems. :)

g13 said...

yeah, i noticed. he was also a porn double in (wretch!)love actually.

ahbahsean said...

hehee, chick flick.

Secret: i'm a woman that doesn't usually like chick flicks! I'll rent them, but if i'm at the theater...i usually want some action, or at least a few midgets. I know, i'm honestly that fabulous!

g13 said...

love, actually had me until the scene where the choir and orchestra offers a surprise serenade at the wedding.

if memory serves, that was the first scene.

cade said...

i'm inclined to believe that a little person doesn't even need that much of a penchant for acting. for every one speaking role, there are dozens of extra roles.

as for "the office." it is the perfect distraction for me to pass the time until FOX finally cancels "arrested development." at least NBC is desperate, so it will probably be on for a while.

michael: if you think pam is cute now, you should have seen here a few years ago....rowrrr.

pam: what?

g13 said...

what is your favorite midget role?

i used to go with oompa loompa (those crotch to head cartwheels get me every time), but now i'm leaning more towards the foxwoods leprechauns. the pillow fight and dancing scenes kill me every time.

ahbahsean said...

Word of advice: Don't rent the movie "Tiptoes". Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, lots of midgets... you'd think with a cast like that it's gotta be good... but no, no, don't do it. Please note, I have warned you.

cade said...

becky-

now i HAVE to.

i consider myself warned, but...wow.

ahbahsean said...

Cade - I forgot to mention Gary Oldman's portrayal of a "little person" is nothing less than stellar...

I suggest muting Kate's scenes cuz she's freakin' beautiful in this movie and you'll get distracted with all the bad dialogue and midget sex.

Also, it's a drama... don't let the midgets fool you into thinking its a comedy... it's not. Now that you're prepared...enjoy!

g13 said...

the wonder of it all...

cade, perhaps we can arrange a screening for your birthday! our place or yours?

cade said...

yeah, time bandits was a drama too, and i laughed my ass off. course that's terry gilliam, but that's another story.

gentry, it don't matter where. maybe we can also get the 1998 godzilla and drinkl too much. that oughta take care of the whole night.

ahbahsean said...

OH man, it's been years since i've seen Time Bandits... now i have to rent.

Anonymous said...

http://jitcrunch.cafepress.com/jitcrunch.aspx?bG9hZD1ibGFuayxibGFuazo3X0YuanBnfGxvYWQ9TDAsaHR0cDovL3pvb20uY2FmZXByZXNzLmNvbS82LzY4NDE1NDZfem9vbS5qcGd8fHNjYWxlPUwwLDE4MCwxMzV8Y29tcG9zZT1ibGFuayxMMCxBZGQsMTU5LDEyNXxjcD1yZXN1bHQsYmxhbmt8c2NhbGU9cmVzdWx0LDAsNDgwfGxvYWQ9c2FtcGxlLGh0dHA6Ly93d3cuY2FmZXByZXNzLmNvbS9jb250ZW50L2dsb2JhbC9pbWcvc2FtcGxlX2NydW5jaF9vdmVybGF5LmdpZnxzY2FsZT1zYW1wbGUsMCw0ODB8Y29tcG9zZT1yZXN1bHQsc2FtcGxlLEFkZCwwLDB8Y29tcHJlc3Npb249ODB8

g13 said...

that was pretty funny. not as funny as "prose before hos" but funny.