zambrano's blues
(sung to the tune of where oh where could my baby be)

oh where oh were could my baseball be
jimmy edmonds took her away from me
she went over the bleachers so i better be good
so i can stroke her seams when i leave this world

i gripped her seams on my big start
my fastball didn't get me that far
there at the plate
straight ahead
stood renteria looking good as dead
i gave him the cutter
it didn't swerve to the right
i'll never forget the sounds that night
the crackin' wood
the ball whistling past
the painful screams that i let out last

oh where oh where could my baseball be
renteria took her away from me
she went in the basket so i better be good
so i can stroke her seams when i leave this world

when i woke up
the runs were raining down
the redbirds were trotting all around
fear drippin' down my leg, water in my eyes
but i still had a chance that night
i gripped her seams
looked rolen straight in the eyes
i even ventured a sinister smile
i knew the game was close
i offered one more pitch
as soon as it was gone i knew i'd missed
now she's gone
faded into the night
i lost the game and my mind that night

oh where oh where could my baseball be
rolen took her away from me
she's gone to the bleachers so i better be good
so i can stroke her seams when i leave this world

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
we're 9 out oooooooooooooooo
i got tossed out oooooooooooo
prior's flaming out oooooooooo
we're looking wild card ooooooo
it shouldn't be this hard ooooooo
it's bartman's fault ooooooooooo
we shouldn't have destroyed that ball