reflections from the road: friday, december 26th

on friday morning i finally had the opportunity to make my way down to lubbock, texas in order to both meet with agent b and piss on the red raiders for surrendering so easily to the sooners.

on the way down i promised myself that i would not listen to npr on xm or to an audio recording of fight club that i borrowed from the (incredibly impressive) hardesty branch of the tulsa public library, so that i could soak up the silence and stark expanses of west texas and try to commune with my God. i'd love to say that i immediately embraced the silence and rhythmically prayed the Jesus prayer the entire way. unfortunately nothing could be further from the truth.

although i could feel myself unfolding as i passed through the great expanse, the minutes felt like hours and my 125 mile trip turned into a sojourn. such discomfort is troubling since i spend so much time preaching and sharing my inner life with others. i realize that the most effective words come out of silence and i need to be more intentional about cultivating silence in the coming year year.

meeting with agent b was like reconnecting with an old friend. although we have only known each other for four years and we've only met on three occasions, his family and mine share the mission of incarnation and the ground that separates us is indeed holy. b and i shared our evolving visions over shitty beer and sub par burgers, we stumbled across a $50 subsidy for our gathering, we drank slightly better beer at chili's and we started to cut to the heart of things at starbucks.

at the latter location i asked agent b how he would, in light of his a-congregational ministry and mission, define the gospel that we both serve. after hemming and hawing a little bit he simply defined the gospel as "doing." when i asked him how the person of Jesus informed his practical definition of the gospel he said that Jesus was "the example" of doing. he then offered a number of illustrations of what this gospel looked like in action. if you'd like to hear those stories for yourself, you'll find a few of them, along with the best characterization of my pastoral calling that i've ever read, over on the agent b files blog.

when we'd sobered up* enough to brave the trek home i embraced my friend and fellow slave and we went our separate ways. on the trip back, as i listened to fight club i was both titillated by the narrator and thankful that God has treated my disassociation disorder with His unrelenting grace and the unexpected graciousness of friends.

cheers agent b! here's to a continuing long obedience in the same direction.

* i'm not simply talking about alcohol here.

reflections from the road: thursday, december 25

i celebrated the birth of the Lord Christ by:

breaking in my new running fleece and logging a mile or so with my sister-in-law

interrupting the family's television time by laughing at matt taibbi's undercover antics as profiled in the great derangement

finally admitting to my father-in-law, whom i love and deeply respect, that i am rubbish with power tools and don't have an interest in improving myself in this area

watching the celtics dump a game to the lakers

half-watching the bucket list, a movie that is scarred by schlocky sentimentality and rob reiner's inept direction, but is carried by actors who are hard to ignore

dancing a turn or two with the girl in the moon

re-watching portions of cars with the little p. while the film is endurable it was much more aesthetically enjoyable when it was called doc hollywood. you can definitely tell that brad bird didn't write this one

and constantly reminding preston that his cousin's new dollhouse is not a: a) stepladder b) window seat or c)gender appropriate toy for him to enjoy

how did your day go?

reflections from the road: wednesday, december 24th

a couple of quick observations on our sojourn through the mostly barren wilderness that separates tulsa from amarillo:

1) there are several starbucks in the okc area that are available for mid-trip refueling. this is a good thing.
2) as opposed to years past, there are far, far fewer american flags stuck to people's bumpers, festooning pot bellies or flying festively over ford dealerships. i'm starting to suspect that oklahomans and texans hate our freedom.
3) though i would like to report otherwise, i am really freaked out and afraid when i have to stop in places like mclean texas to get gas at 11 p.m. at night. the locals screaming at their kids, the senior citizens' coffee clubs, the jalapeno corn dogs and jacked up pick-up trucks are quaint and entertaining during the daytime, but at night, when the locals could carve you up into bits and scatter your entrails in the red dirt with barely a notice, those little towns are downright spooky.*
4) the pix and i listened to michael lewis' blind side on the trip down. the book was a wonderful exploration of southern football, the effects of african-american poverty and well-intentioned eh-vangelical philanthropy. it's definitely worth a listen or read.

last night we attended a beautiful, but somewhat vacuous christmas eve service at a local church. the program was put together well and the sincerity of the participants was never in doubt, but they flattened the nativity narrative - Jesus' birth was a gift for attentive shepherds and you! - and the logocentric, low-participatory liturgy left me wanting more. in a town characterized by a significant poverty culture and a large migrant community christmas seems to be the perfect time to discuss the displacement of the holy family and the exile of the infant Christ. it seems to me that in the often xenophobic south we also need to talk a little more about the role that the magi play in the nativity story.

i would love to get out to the movies this afternoon, but few interesting movies are playing here. palatable choices include the mysterious case of benjamin button and, the mysterious case of benjamin button. can someone get me some milk and a gran torino please? please!

* this reflection makes me feel out-of-touch, elitist and arrogant. but , well...

reflections from the road: tuesday, december 23

the pix, pres and i are currently on a nine day road trip to oklahoma in texas. when i can catch a spare moment, i'm going to provide some reports from the road.

yesterday morning, after six short hours of sleep that followed ten hours of horrific christmas travel, i finally started to shake off sleep and get going. in the few short seconds between my first glimpse of the ceiling and my feet hitting the floor, i realized that i was going to see my pa pa, better known around my house as "big preston," and i could barely contain my excitement.

since i've almost always got an analytical thermometer up my ass i then tried to parse why i was so excited to see my pa pa. was it because we would have long, meaningful conversations? probably not. we've had a number of those over my 31 years, but now we're usually content to sit together. was it because i needed hug him tight and feel him reflexively scrunch his shoulders as if he was absorbing my love? closer, but that wasn't the sole reason. was it because i longed for my son to bask in the gentleness, generosity and common nobility of his namesake? that was part of it.

in the end i realized that i could no more explain my heightened expectation of his arrival than i could rationalize the incredible depths of my love for the man. at almost the same moment, i also realized that the negative correlation between my increasing love for the man and my growing inability to express or explain my love is very similar to my growing passion and investment in the Kingdom of God and my decreasing ability to speak conclusively about my faith.

apparently, for me, the deeper the love and the more abiding the passion, the less i can actually say about it. i'm starting to realize that this tension does not give way to doubt, but leads me towards wonder, story and tears.

reader/response

today's herb of grace advent reading included the following provocative reflection:

"A good question to ask in this Christmas season would be, “why did those in authority want to kill Jesus, not only as a grown rebel but even as a small child? What was he doing to disturb their kind of peace?” Once we find out exactly what kind of threat Jesus was to the established order, then all we need to do is be that same kind of threat. Then we will be praying “come Lord Jesus” as something different than a sweet Sunday morning melody."

your response?

speaks for itself



ht: sam fisherofmen

connections

when i was a s.h.i.t. student i defined my homiletical theory as provocation.

recently, with little apparent provocation, a friend at church said that i could easily be renamed "table flipper."

last night, during peter rollins'* excellent talk at the gathering, he agreed that his writing is intentionally provocative. he then expanded upon this idea by stating that one of the goals of his teaching and preaching is to detach individuals from (i'm assuming) our conceptual idols, reductionistic readings of texts and our intrinsic desire to name, define and circumscribe that which names, defines and circumscribes us.

i'm proud to journey in the company of provocateurs like peter.** moreover, i think peter's focus perspective on homiletical and pedagogical detachment is intriguing.

if you heard peter this week feel free to share your reflections. of course, all other comers are welcome as well.

* in addition to talking at the gathering and harvard div, peter also bunked out at 4 judson for the weekend. even when exhausted, peter is an excellent guest who is quick to share a story, parse a question and share a pint. here's to hoping we'll have an opportunity to host him in the future.
** peter's visit is yet another example of how much the emergent village crew has invested in our cohort and church community over the last couple of years. tony jones has met with us several times, mclaren has connected with our community, will sampson graced us with a visit last spring, karen ward popped in on one occasion and peter has now been here twice. the good folks at emergent village don't simply talk about generative conversation among friends...they incarnate their commitment. our communities has been all the better for it. thanks ev!

reader/response

"Following the image of the kingdom that was spoken of by Jesus, we encounter the idea that while it is still thought of as 'to come' this does not mean that it will one day arrive at the end of a certain period of time, but rather the kingdom is 'to come,' that is, the kingdom is already among us but in a spectral manner that resists our grasp. here the opening created by the eschatological kingdom of God is not an opening into the future but rather an opening into the present that acts much like the portable holes we see in cartoons that can be placed on any solid surface, thus creating a gap." -peter rollins, the fidelity of betrayal, pg. 51.

this passage challenged me to set aside my simple linear conception of God's kingdom in order to contemplate God's kingdom as a depth or chasm that i am sometimes standing on the precipice of, other times foolishly, cartoonishly spinning my wheels above or, in darker times, as likely to find as a artesian well in the desert.

contemplating the dimensions of the kingdom in this manner makes me suspect that when i am struck dumb by the texture of my grandfather's hands or am seemingly called home by the squint in neal's eyes, the Spirit is suggesting that i am near the holy and hidden heart of it all.

the unexpected depth and appearance of the kingdom in our midst, also makes sense of my uncle freddy's suggestion to pay attention my eyes well up with tears, as they have so often lately, or when a lump rises in my throat.

during this holy advent peter's text is reminding me that throughout this season of anticipation it makes as much sense to look down and dig around as it does to lean forward.

musing...
by: kevin smith clark

“Could I have been a parking lot attendant
Could I have been a millionaire in Bel-Air
Could I have been lost somewhere in Paris
Could I have been your little brother
Could I have been anyone other than me…”
Dave Matthews, “Dancing Nancies”

Could I have been…miserable in central Kentucky? I had this Zen-like moment on Sunday while walking through the halls of my parents’ church. This was the same church where I cut my teeth on ministry and realized my calling. This was the same church where I met her…the girl I dated before my wife, Amy. And I saw her Sunday morning (I won’t get into details, I won’t slander, but we’ve taken distinctly different paths since June ’97). Then the FLASH of insight (sorry to mix Buddha and Jesus): what if I hadn’t severed the ties of that necrotic relationship? Could I have been anyone other than me?

I’m 99.9% confident: (1) I never venture out of KY for anything, (2) I never get involved in leading worship, (3) I miss out on my relationship with Amy, my two beautiful children, and (4) I don’t meet g13 at Soybean Bible and strike up a friendship that was originally based on two facts: the Dave Matthews Band are gods (we’ve both changed our opinions since then), and Barry Sanders is the greatest running back in history (I’m still steadfast on this, assuming g13 is as well).

Needless to say, I made the right choice…but that Sunday was all the Thanksgiving I needed. Anyone else had one of those moments lately?

i stand corrected, sir

"By 1998 six of the seven largest parachurch mission agencies were World Vision (founded 1950, annual revenues $304 million), Larry Jones International Ministries/Feed the Children (1964, $128 million),MAP International (1954, $85 million), Compassion International (1952, $69 million), Food for the Hungry (1971, $53 million) and Christian Aid Ministries (1981, $43 million). All have been founded since 1945 and all make relief, development, education and health care their primary focus, with evangelism a secondary concern." - Michael S. Hamilton, "More Money, More Ministry: The Financing of American Evangelicalism Since 1945," pg. 118.

"The budget of just one organization dedicated to evangelism - Campus Crusade for Christ ($241 million) - is itself larger than all spending by all evangelical political group, right and left. Evangelicals spend more on summer camps than on politics, more on urban rescue missions than on politics, and more on youth programs than on politics. When we factor in the amounts that evangelicals give to their churches - probably somewhere between $14 billion and $20 billion - there is no doubt that evangelicals devote less than 1 percent of their religious spending to public affairs matters. If we follow the money, it clearly does not lead to politics." - ibid, pgs. 130-131.

these figures are from 1998, but they are still startling. to me anyway.

a fitting tribute to the poor bastard killed by consumerism


i can't believe they can't prosecute the killers. couldn't they at least seize their credit cards or ban them from wal-mart?

warning: explicit lyrics.

mid-morning time waster: yakking off

"you americans...

first you arm hussein

then you fight hussein

now you elect hussein

what a country!

what's next? hijab as new black?"

your turn! what's your favorite yakov bit?

Joe the Plumber=America
submitted by: slowfo

It all started with a simple game of football with his son in the front yard...or at least that's what Wikipedia tells me (and if you can't trust Wikipedia, who can you trust anyway?). On October 12, 2008, then-Presidential candidate, Barack Obama whizzed through an Ohio neighborhood to do a little meet-n-greet and stumbled upon Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, aka. "Joe the Plumber", and changed history in ways that we still haven't seen the end of yet.

To recap the major events since October 12th, here's Joe's meteoric rise in a nutshell:

• Joe was played like a pinball over the next 3 weeks as the two best options for President of the free world (or at least the best two who actually wanted to pursue the job) would use him in any way, shape, or form for their own selfish, political gain.
• 
  
• All major media groups picked up the Joe the Plumber story, swarming him for feedback and/or appearances. Fierce competition for ratings continued throughout the campaign and Joe was a major piece to that puzzle. Consequently, Joe became our newest celebrity-next-door.
• 
  
• Soon after Joe's thrust into stardom (if you can really call it that) Helen Jones-Kelley, director of the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services, had for-her-eyes-only background checks being done to see if he owed unemployment compensation taxes, child support, or received welfare assistance from the state. Jones-Kelley was an Obama supporter who made 14 background checks within 48 hours after the final presidential debate. Now surely a state employee wouldn't immediately abuse their power to dig up dirt on a regular public citizen to hopefully discredit their opinions and assassinate their character for political gain (oops, that last part hasn't been proven yet...I'll bet Ms. Jones-Kelley was a McCain supporter all the way, dontcha think? ;-). Dishonest political powerplays with priveleged information....Joe, meet Big Brother. He's here to tell you a bedtime story that we like to call...Watergate.
• 
  
• Joe's no fool (altho' time will tell on that one) - he sees opportunity in all of this and so do a gathering crowd of others who are whispering into Joe's ear about how much big money he can make through all of this (don't worry, the whisperers will get their self-indulgent cut of the action too). Joe's planning on sueing the State of Ohio (by the way, isn't it great that the ACLU protects citizens like this?.....what? they haven't called for the lawsuits and firings? they've only admitted that the Jones-Kelley debacle "raises questions?"....geez, what's a white, middle-class male to do to get a little back-up here??). Joe's got a book coming out. Joe's started his own website, watchdog group, and has inquired into cutting a country music CD and has hired his own publicity management agent.
  

So what does this all mean? Political gain. Fierce competition. Stardom. Abuse of power. Character assassination. Dishonesty. Opportunity. Lawsuits. Big money. Call me a cynic but if you want to know what real-world, on the streets, and in the board room America is all about, here it is wrapped up in one big story: "Joe the Plumber."

overheard: will leitch

"Say what you will about Barack Obama, but I love him, if just for one reason. When asked about his favorite baseball team, he said, 'Oh, that’s easy. White Sox. I’m not one of these fair weather fans. You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer, beautiful people up there. People aren’t watching the game. It’s not serious. White Sox, that’s baseball. Southside.' This is exactly what we Cardinals fans think about Cubs fans. Because it’s true. It’s nice to have someone rooting against the Cubs in the White House." More...

why i love my job

what's that? wait...oh my god! that's makua's music!!!

makua and qwest from ringside entertainment stopped by rectangle today and they made a big splash.

over the last several weeks, rectangle has undergone some difficult transitions and the atmosphere among participants, staff and supporters has been, to say the least, incredibly tense.

little did we know that a little professional wrestling was just what the dr. ordered.

when makua and qwest unexpectedly busted up our monday morning meeting to announce that ringside entertainment, yea-uh, is going to host a benefit wrestling event for rectangle on friday, december 13th in everett, ma, yeah-uh, the room erupted. participants who are ringside loyalists called out to makua and qwest by name, the work floor supervisors had goofy smiles plastered across their faces and long-time, well-cultured managers recanted of their previous inclination to reject the event altogether.

in the midst of that meeting there were tears* shed, high fives slapped and many, many autographs given. after the meeting as i escorted the celebrities to their dressing room i couldn't help but think that this must be what the celebration of jubilee felt like.

thank you makua, qwest and ringside entertainment for shedding a little light and sharing a lot of love with all of us at rectangle. your support and philanthropy,** especially at this time in our community's history, means more than you could ever imagine.

* some of which, i am unashamed to say, were mine.
** i mean that in the truest since of the word.

schlocky sentimentality

july of 1996 was a difficult month for me. my grandmother was in the process of dying from heart disease, i had just received my fourth alcohol related citation in six months and i didn't know what i was going to do with my future - though i realized that returning to oklahoma state for a second year of blatant debauchery and academic excellence was not my best option.

during that time i was fortunate to receive guidance and accompaniment from people i knew and loved, such as scott schlotfelt, sean radecki and regina (whitehead) johnston each of whom spent many hours reminding me that, as confused as i was, i was still loved and i had a strong community supporting me.

however, during that time, i was also fortunate to receive encouragement and accompaniment from an unexpected source. namely, the lcc dayspring group. this crew traveled throughout the region that summer singing songs about Jesus, encouraging young adults to attend bible college and blessing those they came across. at sean's insistence, i helped them unload their gear into the church, i attended their charming, if a little cheesy and formulaic, performance and enjoyed chatting with them after the show.

the next morning sean called me to tell me that dayspring's bus had broken down* and to invite me to hang out with the crew for a little longer. so i did. as that day turned into half a week, guys like joel craig, david drake, john cassetto and, especially, todd zastrow really blessed me with their friendliness** and they encouraged me to explore the possibility of attending lcc instead of simply jumping ship to another state university.

their encouragement tapped into the odd*** affirmations i had received over the years that i would "grow into a preacher" someday and, as a result, i decided to give at least one semester of bible college a try.****

the first semester really sucked, but i received an unexpected call to preach, i stuck around lcc and that calling continues to orient my life until this day.

why am i tripping down sentimental lane and dropping names? good question...

this weekend i remembered the dayspring week because a sort-of similar group from st. stephen's university in new brunswick visited the gathering. this group of eclectic, incredibly talented musicians invited us to experience "the filid," which they described as an experience of celtic liturgy, song, dance, poetry and prophesy.

i didn't know what to expect from "the filid" crew, but when i realized within an hour of meeting them that several of their members were former l'arche assistants and that the whole crew had been profoundly shaped by the life and ministry of jean vanier and henry nouwen, i had a feeling that we would get along famously.

fortunately we did.

their performance was amazing***** - weaving a "deconstruction liturgy" together with contemplative sculpture, quirky, powerpoint entangled proclamation and soaring instrumentals - and afterwards we lingered over many beers and they joyously jammed out versions of marvin gaye's "let's get it on" as well as original tunes such as their bi-lingual, comedic, closer of a love song between canada and separatist quebec.

obviously, i'm too old to respond to their rousing performance by running off to a christian college, but spending time with the st. stephen's crew reminded me of my roots in spiritual theology, gave me a vision of an engaging, mixed media liturgy and, by the strange miracle of grace, provided a provision of much needed bread for the journey.

---
* which came as no surprise to that crew or anyone who attended lcc during that time period.
** friendship is probably too strong a term. they were recruiters, after all.
*** odd because my language, behavior and contrarian nature have always made me an nontraditional candidate for ministry in the christian churches, churches of christ.
**** against the recommendations of schlotfelt and radecki who discouraged me from attending for rather superficial reasons (that i will not reveal except to say that the "wish book" was involved).
***** i wish i had another superlative, but, um, there you go.

happy haiku friday

around the corner
cringing at every turn
please grab your ankles

overheard

“The emerging church movement is a sustainable church movement and as the country enters recession, as budgets tighten, and as creativity is ignited, the emerging churches have already learned to start off without a budget, without buildings, without paid professionals and can offer the wider church the gift of their experience—which means that the mission of Christ can still go forward and even thrive, despite the economic woes around us.” - andrew jones

ht: steve knight

musing...

maybe because there's a november chill in the air. maybe because i'm reading mckibben's deep economy and questioning the viability and value of perpetual growth. maybe because i work for a non-profit which appears to be slowly bleeding from the top and bottom.

for whatever reason, this is clearly a fallow season.

though there are times where i am tempted to despair, there are plenty of other times when i sit and consider how i'm going to turn the soil, rest, save and prepare for the growth that is to come.

during this fallow season, i want to drill down in prayer and see if i can discover some of the unction evidenced by preachers of old. i want to brave the silence long enough to read theology again. i want to slow down long enough to listen to my beloved and others as well. i want to lead my unsuspecting ambition up to moriah and see what gives.

how are you spending this fallow season?