"Following the image of the kingdom that was spoken of by Jesus, we encounter the idea that while it is still thought of as 'to come' this does not mean that it will one day arrive at the end of a certain period of time, but rather the kingdom is 'to come,' that is, the kingdom is already among us but in a spectral manner that resists our grasp. here the opening created by the eschatological kingdom of God is not an opening into the future but rather an opening into the present that acts much like the portable holes we see in cartoons that can be placed on any solid surface, thus creating a gap." -peter rollins, the fidelity of betrayal, pg. 51.
this passage challenged me to set aside my simple linear conception of God's kingdom in order to contemplate God's kingdom as a depth or chasm that i am sometimes standing on the precipice of, other times foolishly, cartoonishly spinning my wheels above or, in darker times, as likely to find as a artesian well in the desert.
contemplating the dimensions of the kingdom in this manner makes me suspect that when i am struck dumb by the texture of my grandfather's hands or am seemingly called home by the squint in neal's eyes, the Spirit is suggesting that i am near the holy and hidden heart of it all.
the unexpected depth and appearance of the kingdom in our midst, also makes sense of my uncle freddy's suggestion to pay attention my eyes well up with tears, as they have so often lately, or when a lump rises in my throat.
during this holy advent peter's text is reminding me that throughout this season of anticipation it makes as much sense to look down and dig around as it does to lean forward.