is this what awe means?

lately i have been overwhelmed by complexity.

when i try to see the gospel through the clouds of two thousand years of interpretation and four thousand years of judeo-christian history it often feels like i have been struck blind.

when i advocate for the poor and am expected to passionately support failed initiatives alongside services that are desperately needed the haze of hypocrisy covers me like a cloak.

hell, even when i enter an industrial building and glance at the sophisticated masonry, hvac systems and intricate wiring i feel like a neanderthal transported to tokyo.

in this world it often seems that "success" relies upon reductionism and nuance is the precursor of impotence. i am profoundly dissatisfied with the polarities, yet am trapped in the tension between.

Lord Jesus, if you want to these scales, remove them.

if confusion is my thorn teach me to bear it.

i do so believe, help me with my unbelief.