Wednesday, October 22, 2008

just wondering...
by: pixie

You know how all those young teen couples that find themselves pregnant and claim, "We only had sex that one time. We swear." and a lot of us wonder at the odds of every teen couple getting impregnated the very first time.* You also know how sometimes Scripture mentions one instance as representative of multiple instances? Well, all this makes me wonder about the story of Lot & his daughters**. First, how drunk do you have to be to NOT know you're having sex with your daughter and if you are that drunk does the equipment still work? Second, how does this happen again with the 2nd daughter? And finally, how possible is it that both girls got knocked up the very first time? I know they were scheming to get pregnant but do you really think that the ancient Israelites had the ovulation/menstruation schedule down to a medical science? I doubt they were saying to each other, "Hey, I'm ovulating today. Let's get Dad drunk!" Maybe they did but is there also a possibility that Scripture just mentions the one time as representative of the whole? Just saying.....

*Granted recent films such as Knocked Up & Juno support this idea....
**I have to say that this Bible story perplexes me more than many others.

13 comments:

g13 said...

one warning and two quick comments.

as for the warning: don't click on the picture and peruse the brick testament if your sense of humor is rated PG.

as for the comments: one - i'm going to go out on a limb and say that neither of the characters in knocked up got pregnant on their first time. something tells me that the asian girl in the stoner house, for instance, had probably dated more than one of the peeps at their pad.

two - i can think of three people, from my home church alone and off the top of my head, that have used the "it was our first time" argument. how many times have you, dear readers, heard that explanation? let's keep a running tally.

Mike Murrow said...

hmmm well i always claim it is my first time so as to create low expectations and make that bar just low enough even i can eek over it. ha ha

but that is slightly off topic.

in my highschool i seem to remember there was always at least one girl in every sophomore class who bumped uglies and got knocked up. they all claimed it was the first time. we all knew they were lying. but it was tradition so you just flowed with it.


maybe the reason these stories seem so, oh i dono, far fetched is because they are just stories and they didn't really happen. but i can tell you that there is a phenomenon known as "whiskey ...." - i will let Jeff fill you in on the rest. but then again i woke up one night in junior college to moans and when i flicked on the light my roommate who was passed out drunk was being, uh, "rid" as they say by his ex. she had snuck into our place like a succubus and well did what a succubus does.

Mark said...

you make some excellent points mr. g. what in the world made you think of this? i want answers to the questions. I WANT THE TRUTH!

g13 said...

mark - my wife wrote it. my thoughts are much more conventional and family friendly.

murrow - i don't know what you're talking about. i don't even drink that much whiskey.

BizMarquee said...

Ok. I tell the truth, and am not lying. Other than our wedding night, my wife and I have had unprotected sex a total of three times.

We have three children.

I kid you not.

And she was worried we'd have trouble getting pregnant.

g13 said...

wow.

and that ends "true confessions of bible college professors!" good night folks! we'll be back next week...

Jeremiah said...

With regard to incest, there are those who theorize that Adam and Eve's children married each other to jump-start the human race and this practice was continued for millennia/generations. It wasn’t until the Mosaic Covenant that prohibitions against sleeping with a close relative seem to have been delineated. Sarah/Sarai (Lot’s contemporary relative) married her half-brother Abraham/Abram which were just a few generations before Moses.

With regard to the fertility of Lot’s daughters, there are those who theorize that after the Fall of humankind, particularly during the first several generations/millennia, genetic homogeneity was not as dangerous a combination during pregnancy as it is today.

=)

Mike Murrow said...

can't we just say they are just stories (albeit weird ass stories - would love to see a vegi-tails of this one) and leave it at that? why do we have to come up with convoluted theories about how many generations of brother/sisters, first cousins can bump uglies before the kids start coming out like KidRock?

Jeremiah said...

We could... or...

;-)

g13 said...

jer, thanks for jumping into the conversation. i don't know a thing about the genetic safety of family relations in the ancient near east. however, the author of genesis clearly portrays the girls as doing a questionable thing. they are scheming to procreate with their father, get him drunk to facilitate the activity, seem to act without his knowledge etc.

in a sense, their scheming foreshadows that of their second cousin jacob.

and murrow, you're right. it is a weird ass story. yet another reason i love genesis.

Pixie said...

The Veggie Tales euphemism for sex is a rubber duckie as seen in their rendition of David & Bathsheba (which casts even more shadows in Bert & Ernie's corner). In the Lot & His Daughters Veggie Tale, they'd probably get Bob the tomato silly on apple juice and then steal his rubber duckie - twice. The hard part would not be portraying the story; it would be coming up with any moral or learning point to the story with the exception of "Keep your rubber duckies to yourself".

Anonymous said...

Great post, pixie. Jeff, I've heard the "first time" argument a few times, i'd say 3-4 (remember: i dabbled in youth ministry, so you hear a lot of stories).

Now, there was a girl in Lincoln who became pregnant and swore she'd never lost her duckie. I'm pretty sure she went to New Wine. I'm sorry was that uncalled for?

BTW, I really want to quote "Dirty Work" right now, but I'll take the high road (which sucks).

KSC

g13 said...

dude i heard the same story in lincoln from a different girl.

there must be regional varieties of the "it was our first time schtick." if "i got preganant without having sex at all is lincoln's mutation on this ridiculous excuse i do not think it speaks highly of median intelligence in good ole' 62656.