brothers and sisters, as much as it pains me to say it, i am convinced that we have an ass crack epidemic on our hands.
in years past, i'd occasionally have an unrequited and (usually) wholly unappealing glimpse of a fat crack and five dollar thong, but lately i can't look to my right or left without being accosted by crack.
just on this trip alone, pix and i were subjected to a full-on glimpse of a wide crack ass that was not only half unsheathed, but sprouting black hairs. later, on one of our unfortunate trips to a commerce carnival, we saw a young woman who wore stylish black slacks that were quickly creeping towards the lower rims of her ass. even worse, she was toting along her young son and daughter who were sporting low-slung pampers and proudly displaying finely powdered and (as of yet) completely undimpled ass.
now i'm not calling anyone out here and will let all offenders remain anonymous. but if you are not a plumber, subjected to prison blues or being solicited for a vanity fair photo shoot, i would ask that when in public you properly sheathe your rapidly degenerating ass. proper coverage will not only please God but will secure my appetite and will help teenagers conserve water.
that is all. more meaningful posts to follow.
I Was Fired for Not Being a Christian
1 week ago