Monday, October 22, 2007

confession...



yesterday i was barefoot, barely clothed and bawling for confessions on the streets of salem.

since my role as carnival barker* required me to perform a lot more clowning and calling than confessing** i did not have the opportunity to get much off of my chest. so, please bless me by sitting still for one more moment and hearing what i have to say.

i don't like being a fool for Christ, but a fool is undoubtedly what i am. i usually cannot believe all that i hope in, but continue to preach. i rarely choose to bless those who curse me and usually curse more often than i bless. nine times out of ten i not only eschew the prayer closet but also find it hard to opt for silence instead of morning edition.

i am not worthy of Christ, but have been wholly subverted by his grace and though he alone is my righteousness i seem to imitate him less and less. i am as confounded by Christ as godric, as compromised as the whisky priest and duplicitous as jacob. yet, for some unknown reason, every time He cues the song i start to stumble forward.

send in the clown.

* which fits me a little better than say, martin luther, the role pastor phil talked me into playing on friday night.
** dr. james reports that my actual ratio of clowning to confessing was 67.5 to 1.

5 comments:

IZenBet said...

confession was intense as well as awkward! listening to the lesbians ask that we include homosexuality apologies was hard, cause i still believe in what the Bible decrees...
some people were just weirded out, being locked in a vault with candlelight and monks confessing a lot of sins of church will do that...;-)

Before Girl said...

Something I heard today:
Hope's not about having a good outcome. Hope's about making sense of it all.

Agent B said...

A good clown? maybe.

A good ass? yes.

kristi said...

hey now that i have an actual link to your blog on mine i actually read what you have to say (ok so there's a confession...). jeff, thanks. i really needed to hear that today.

g13 said...

as we tell our patrons, no need to confess! i'm glad you enjoyed it and have added a link to your blog as well.

pax.