Monday, October 22, 2007


yesterday i was barefoot, barely clothed and bawling for confessions on the streets of salem.

since my role as carnival barker* required me to perform a lot more clowning and calling than confessing** i did not have the opportunity to get much off of my chest. so, please bless me by sitting still for one more moment and hearing what i have to say.

i don't like being a fool for Christ, but a fool is undoubtedly what i am. i usually cannot believe all that i hope in, but continue to preach. i rarely choose to bless those who curse me and usually curse more often than i bless. nine times out of ten i not only eschew the prayer closet but also find it hard to opt for silence instead of morning edition.

i am not worthy of Christ, but have been wholly subverted by his grace and though he alone is my righteousness i seem to imitate him less and less. i am as confounded by Christ as godric, as compromised as the whisky priest and duplicitous as jacob. yet, for some unknown reason, every time He cues the song i start to stumble forward.

send in the clown.

* which fits me a little better than say, martin luther, the role pastor phil talked me into playing on friday night.
** dr. james reports that my actual ratio of clowning to confessing was 67.5 to 1.


IZenBet said...

confession was intense as well as awkward! listening to the lesbians ask that we include homosexuality apologies was hard, cause i still believe in what the Bible decrees...
some people were just weirded out, being locked in a vault with candlelight and monks confessing a lot of sins of church will do that...;-)

Before Girl said...

Something I heard today:
Hope's not about having a good outcome. Hope's about making sense of it all.

Agent B said...

A good clown? maybe.

A good ass? yes.

kristi said...

hey now that i have an actual link to your blog on mine i actually read what you have to say (ok so there's a confession...). jeff, thanks. i really needed to hear that today.

g13 said...

as we tell our patrons, no need to confess! i'm glad you enjoyed it and have added a link to your blog as well.