Monday, January 29, 2007

now that's just crazy talk





kevin smith clark always tells me that i'm a "crazy magnet." lately, i've found little evidence to refute his claims.

i spent the first five hours of my day undergoing first aid training while sitting under a strapping sixty-five year old male who wore black kicks with g-ride emblazoned upon the side and told us not to worry about compressing a victim's heart while the heart was still beating for, apparently, old research that suggested that such compressions would decrease the flow of blood to the head have proven to be "phallus."

I HAD THE BEST F'ING STORY HERE ABOUT THE UNKNOWN CONNECTION BETWEEN UN-CIRCUMCISION AND SPIRITUAL REBIRTH. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST...*

i hate to beat a dead horse here, but r.i.p. barbaro. pray tell, if roger clemens tears his achilles tendon while preparing for his inevitably banal july call-up can we hope for the same favorable result?

the picture of dizzy that i posted above is pretty much apropos of nothing. though she did flash some mad skillz this evening when she stole oven roasted chicken off of the kitchen counter without making so much as making a sound. click the pic above and you'll receive a clue about dizzy's predestined end.

* NB: i could probably be persuaded to share the story via email.

1 comment:

Mike said...

we (my roommates and i) were watching KU spank Nebraska and during the break we flipped over to cnn and caught the news that the personal trainers for Bonds are not allowed into the Giants locker room. this was during a split screen showing the news that Barbaro is being put down...

at which point one of the roommies said they should just put Bonds down...

i don't know why that is funny or why i shared it.

email me the story...