Friday, November 04, 2005

vote for gentry

a number of people asked me to run. for some reason they always did.

as we stood in front of the "gordon-conwell student association" table, friends and foes goaded me to sign up. the optimists reminded me that someone had to lead the body and lead it well, while the pessimists, who outnumbered the optimists 3 to 1, suggested that this would provide me with yet another opportunity to piss off the administration.

in years past i would have ignored such calls as hubris, a temptation to embrace the ambitious road of ascent or simply a sarcastic aside. this year, however, i responded boldly by choosing to run for korean student association president.

three hours later, the phone in my dorm room rang. "jeffsch, this isch schteven schcott, the schtudent assochiation president." i'd love to tell you that the mere sound of his speech impediment made me feel guilty, but it only confirmed that this was going to be a hell of a lot of fun. "jeffsch, i would likesch to thank for for schigning up to run for korean schtudent assochiation president." i affirmed that it was my privilege to run for this fine office and, if elected, i would serve the Korean students well.

"jeffsch, there isch only one problem. the korean schtudent asshociation isch not technically a part of the schtudent assochiation. in fact, it isch its own scheperate group." "really?" i countered. "if that is the case, why were signups included on the student association table in the dining room steven? i've put my heart and my reputation on the line by deciding to run and now you're telling me that i am not eligible? i am not going to kid you schteven (i couldn't help myself), i feel like the student association has failed me."

"well," steven said pensively, "the korean schtudent asshociation isch its own organizaschion. they have their own elecschions which are not overscheen by the Schtudent Assochiation. so that schinup wasch a mischtake. however they are an important partsch of the fabric of our inschtitution." "i know they are an important part steven," i said with traces of true pain in my voice, "that's why i want to be their next president."

"well, if you have friendsch who are a partsch of the k.sch.a. you can aschk them to nominate you and put you on the ballot for their elecschion." i thought for a moment, before responding. "thanks for trying to make the best of a bad situation steven, but i think i'll pass. i already feel like a jap walking the streets of seoul by this point, if you know what i mean."

"isch there anything elsch i can do for you?" steven asked. "isch there another schtudent office you would like to run for?" "well, now that you mention it," i said, "i would like to start campaigning for the presidency of the women's resource network. if you'd throw my name in that hat, i'd highly appreciate it."


james said...

I love that your asian fellow has a certain german intonation in his transliteration.

"That's why i want to be their next president" - HA!

Kellie said...

You forgot the best part - how you told him that your exclusion was unfounded, because since you are adopted and do not know your biological parentage you could very well have Korean blood pulsing through your veins.

Or there's that time Leanne pranked called you and had you thinking she was your biological sister from Oklahoma...but that's another story.

g13 said...

um, yeah. the part of the conversation about my biological parentage may or may not have ever happened.

but if it didn't shake down that way, it should have.

and, for the record, leanne's prank was pure, unadulterated evil.

ahbahsean said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ahbahsean said...

you are all ridiculous... and why am i not even remotely this creative and spontaneous??

g13 said...

miss aubuchon,

we're not so much committed to creativity as we are to fighting boredom.

dr. j,

schteven does not descend from asian stock. he's straight up anglo, just like me (i think anyway. i am adopted). i would never bag on other ethnicities in this forum, but anglos are always fair game. schteven's mom used to work with us by the way. remember the old lady who wrote the bad poetry and turned me in for "cussin' on the job?"

james said...

yes....i do remember the random poet if i could only come up with her name.