Tuesday, May 24, 2005

musing...

early sunday morning we filled our cylinders with coffee and slowly made our way to the beach. on the way she spoke of her divorce, emphasizing both the causes and consequences in manner that was both concise and heartfelt. after listening to her story for twenty minutes or so i felt compelled to play the pastor by offering advice, suggesting a solution or pointing out the first rays of resolution. fortunately, i resisted the compulsion. instead, i simply noted that it seems to me learning to suffer well is the mark of maturity.

sunday evening, while lazily watching television with the pixie, i walked through the conversation once again. as the frames flew through my mind i thanked God for enabling me to resist my compulsion and openly wondered whether my description of maturity was too simplistic. after thinking about it a bit, i think the latter is true. maturity, it seems to me, is not only marked by the ability to suffer, but is also marked by the ability to appreciate the humor of our upended expectations as well as the ability to snatch a thread of hope out of the hands of despair.

thinking back to the setting of our conversation i was reminded of a scene in the wizard's tide by uncle freddy. near the end of the novel, the little boy, who serves as the protagonist, and his grandmother are walking along the long island shore. the boy is overwhelmed by the destructive capability of the ocean, its ability to swallow you whole, produce tidal waves that destroy homes and, in an instant, sink ships. while not ignoring the truth of the boy's thoughts the grandmother tells him that waves of life, terrible and turbulent as they may be, are carrying us towards the shore. surely it takes great faith to believe that the waves of pain and suffering, as well as the more welcome waves of joy and the spray of silliness, are carrying us towards the far shore. but that is the kind of faith i strive for. i hope and pray it is the kind of faith you are striving for as well.

3 comments:

g13 said...

in the interests of full disclosure: the scene from the wizard's tide might have played out a little differently than i remember. unfortunately this little book, which was originally intended, though not marketed to, children, is no longer in print and i did not have ready access to a copy when slapping together this piece. thus, unfortunately i cannot lay claim to inerrancy.

uncle freddy, if i have twisted or turned your story in any way, i beg your forgiveness.

g13 said...

Eva,

that is a great question. the short answer is i don't really know.

the longer answer is tied up in the stories of scripture, which recount, time and again, the faithful suffering of Christ and God's people. as i read the psalms and reflect on Christ's sufferings, it appears to me that suffering well requires us to be honest about our sense of foresakeness and our feelings of despair. this honesty is evident throughout the psalms (i.e., ps. 13:1-"How long o Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?) and is quite evident in Jesus' life, especially when he quoted Ps. 22 on the cross ("My Lord, My Lord, why have you forsaken me..."). such honesty not only humbles us before God, it also connects us with our fellow human beings. for suffering is an experience to which we can all attest.

after we have honestly faced the sufferings which assails us from without and the darkness that dwells within, i think that we need to cling to God's redemption. i know this sounds abstract, and probably trite, but hang with me for a moment. in Christ i see a figure who was subjected to some of the greatest suffering that man has ever experienced. he was rejected by his nation, almost murdered by his neighbors in nazareth, when the cards were down he was betrayed by those who were closest to him and in the end he was crucified like a common criminal. yet, though he was truly anguished by his suffering (see Ps. 22 quoted above) and subjected to the deepest depths of human misery, he still clung to the God of the great reversal...the one who can bring life from death and calls things that are not as though they were.

in the end, eva, i have to believe that God will bring the great reversals that he promises. i cling to his promise that: the poor will inherit the Kingdom of earth, the fatherless will be cared for, and that some blessed day every tear will be wiped from our eyes. much like uncle freddy, i believe that even our suffering and pain is carrying us towards the far shore, where the weak shall be made strong and all things shall be made new.

i hope that this doesn't come off as "preachy," for that is far from my intent. i speak not of things that i know, so much as i speak of things that i suspect.

peace be with you.

g13 said...

i don't know. how does one unravel the intricacies of someone else's relationship?

i think that there comes a time when people don't need suggestions or pastoral insight. what they need is a loving, gracious context in which they can find, and perhaps be encouraged to pursue, healing.

thanks for commenting jen. my love for you runs deep. thank you for continuing to put up with the presence of this remorseful hypocrite.