Wednesday, March 23, 2005

mid-morning time wasters

in honor of dr. james' post and my own digust at having lived the pimp-driven life, i am proud to present the first annual purpose driven makeover contest! the purpose of this game is to find parking, er, i mean, to carefully examine the photos below and clearly identify the five components of pastor rick's purpose-driven makeover. the winner of the contest will receive a sparkling, slightly damaged, copy of pastor warren's aptly named what on earth am i here for? good luck!


13 comments:

Arthur said...

glasses, facial hair, hair cut, clothing and skin tone...

ok, really... if he's going to reach the emergents, shouldn't this be facial hair, dyed hair (blue, green, or some other unnatural color), piercing, tatoo and clothing...

expect makeover round 2 for his next book... *yak*

james said...

I'll pony up with Face-lifts for a thousand

g13 said...

i think his new wardrobe was picked by doug mirabelli's new flame. i think his name is carson and he's one of the hosts of the misanthripic drivel known as queer eye.

Anonymous said...

Glasses the go-tee new stylin hair, that fresh new shirt and he actually looks like he had a bible and not a copy of his book in his hand.
Amy

g13 said...

the man above looks like he's pimpin time-shares in san diego. the man below, he's selling time shares in that tony estate we call heaven's gates.

Arthur said...

facelift:maybe

liposuction:definately

Arthur said...

"and he actually looks like he had a bible and not a copy of his book in his hand."

ldkjglkxdjhlkgdg!

Anonymous said...

1. Short spiked hair

2. Smaller, more trendy glasses

3. Gotee

4. Lost the Homer Simpson shirt in favor a more sophisticated one

5. Traded in preaching and teaching for reverently holding his wallet, gazing piously into the heavens while contemplating the vision of a Rick Warren Action Figure flying off the shelves at Walmart.
~christine

Before Girl said...

1. Clothing-from big fat party guy Hawaiian shirt to modest almost preacherly look.

2. Goatee-he had hair transplanted from head to face.

3. Added about 12 pounds to his carriage.

4. The stern lecturer look to the dreamy, otherworldly look

5. In the first photo, you can only see one of his hands. Classic body language that says, "I'm only giving you half the truth, only pay attention to this hand out here." In the second photo, both hands are out in the open, giving the suggestion that he is completely honest about schlepping his stuff.

g13 said...

thanks for your kind words, jamie.

while i wouldn't accept the title of brilliant, i would like to share the title of bodhisattva with pastor warren.

as for the rest of you,
christine is beating the crap out of you in this contest. all entries must be received by 3:45 p.m.

Arthur said...

there are actually no differences between the two pictures except for the lense filter that was used to take the picture...

the first picture used a circa early 1980s basketball filter (seriously, go watch ESPN classics and look at the people in the audience... same fuzzy edges, hawaian shirt wear and crappy quality)...

the second was taken using a turn of the century holier-than-thou filter (note shifting of focus to the sky, appearance of bible in hands, sleek clothing and all around spiffiness)...

and admitedly this post was ripped off from last night's daily show and the liberal and conservative media filters... athankyou...

DJ Word said...

one of my favorite posts. Shows how shallow I am.

Noone mentioned the bleach in his hair (5 years past its expiration date).

He has been at conferences with Rob Bell and must have asked for some hair coloring pointers.

g13 said...

rick,

superficiality is indeed at the heart of this post. i sick of writing emotionally manipulative product pitches for warren's trinkets. so, when he claimed on the king that what he's doing isn't really marketing, i had to think of a way to get him back.

when i contemplate rick's bald spikes, i detect dan kimball's influence. but rob bell's wig might have inspired him as well.

by the way, i think you would have climbed further up leadership network's young leader's forum if you would have subjected yourself to the goatee. facial hair was "the new black" for the emerging movement for quite a while. just a thought.