tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604708.post5446474533672986481..comments2023-10-24T11:39:29.857-04:00Comments on the inconsistent adopted: g13http://www.blogger.com/profile/13856920828414078560noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604708.post-49480012157733134012008-09-04T09:47:00.000-04:002008-09-04T09:47:00.000-04:00thanks for the honest feedback and john, thank you...thanks for the honest feedback and john, thank you for joining the conversation!<BR/><BR/>as both mike and kristi alluded to, i suspect that there is an inpenetrable mixture of sincerity and scheming at the heart of both my expressions of respect and my inner self. <BR/><BR/>initially, i'd say that "sir" and "ma'am" were clearly instrumental terms that were employed to secure my intended ends. however, as i continued extending respect to others i learned that people are hungry for dignity. in a theological sense perhaps we could even say that respecting others is a way of affirming the imago dei in each individual and speaking into the heart of their being. throughout my time as an employment specialist i also learned that the more i extended simple courtesies towards employers the more i began to consider others worthy of gentleness, kindness and respect.<BR/><BR/>please note, that as mike alludes to, i am also constantly afraid of succumbing to my own bullsh*t.<BR/><BR/>kristi - i'm glad you liked that turn of phrase concerning the heart of life and wish i had written it. that expression is cribbed directly from uncle freddy buechner.g13https://www.blogger.com/profile/13856920828414078560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604708.post-44843118194416139182008-09-04T08:38:00.000-04:002008-09-04T08:38:00.000-04:00what i thought of right away is (1) this is really...what i thought of right away is (1) this is really convicting, and i fail at this 99% of the time, or maybe more; and (2) there IS a big difference between southern twang and a "gentle answer turns away wrath." <BR/><BR/>re: (1) i want to be the kind of person who gives gentle answers, yet i'm constantly angry, stubborn, impatient, flippant, sarcastic. and i do agree with you that becoming the kind of person who is the antithesis of who i am now really will be "the holy and hidden heart of life." (i love that line!)<BR/><BR/>re: (2) i am a southern girl, born and raised whether i like it or not. southern church especially taught me that when you want to disagree with someone, you smile "real nice" and politely tell them to shove it up their a$%. the flipside of this teaching is that southern-ness is to be used to get what we want. (actually this isn't the flipside; i guess it's the same). <BR/><BR/>i know women who can cut you open with a knife (my mother-in-law being an example!) with just a few words, said with a smile and while seeming "nice as pie."<BR/><BR/>i don't agree with (....) that you are just using good marketing and no respect, but i would be careful how i described this (since "being southern" can have so many negative connotations and not many positive ones!). <BR/><BR/>i also see a great difference between manipulating people to get their bid for a photo shoot (....) and trying to convince someone to give a person a chance to do something great with his life. the latter seems altruistic; the former is self-serving...<BR/><BR/>i'm just saying.:)kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04234188242645584572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604708.post-88504304920198414152008-09-04T07:22:00.000-04:002008-09-04T07:22:00.000-04:00this makes sense to me. to be honest i wish god's...this makes sense to me. to be honest i wish god's transformative work in my life had a little more to do with magic and a little less to do with humiliation, but that's not what I've found. the spirit's presence in my life usually looks a lot more like balaam's ass than a dove or tongues of fire.Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08001453772284282709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604708.post-75011088025767896792008-09-04T02:31:00.000-04:002008-09-04T02:31:00.000-04:00so when i read "as a beggar you learn pretty quick...so when i read "as a beggar you learn pretty quick that if you're asking an employer about an opening, "sir" or "ma'am" is a far more welcome introduction than "hello chris" or "hi nancy." the more formal my language got, and the more southern twang i slipped in, the more successful my cold calls were and the more convinced i became that the road to relationship is paved by respect."<BR/><BR/>i couldn't help but wonder if it is "respect" that paved the road to a relationship or just good old fashioned socio-political capital. when i am trying to convince a client to let me remodel their house i do the same thing, only i add in a touch of something that conveys the idea that i am a blue-collar-carpenter-this-guy-just-feels-like-a dude-who-was-born-with a hammer in his hand. when i am trying to get a gig shooting a wedding i change it to this guy is a rockstar-artist-type. it has nothing to do with respect and everything to do with playing upon peoples preconceived notions of what a carpenter or a photographer is.<BR/><BR/>just saying.<BR/><BR/>just saying it is good marketing and not respect. if i really respect someone i don't do any of that stuff. i don't do it cause i view them as a real human person and when i do that i no longer have an agenda.<BR/><BR/>but i dono. maybe you are different.Mike Murrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17953216797987615864noreply@blogger.com